


Pinwheel

by better_times_are_coming



Series: if only [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Mentions of Eating Disorder, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-05-14 19:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 49,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14775479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/better_times_are_coming/pseuds/better_times_are_coming
Summary: In any other life, maybe he could have had him.(In which Seungcheol is engaged and hires Jeonghan as his wedding planner).





	1. The wedding planner

Seungcheol doesn’t even know how did this happen.

Or rather, he _does_ but it all went down too fast for him to catch up.

In one moment, he’s celebrating his one year anniversary with Min-Young, and in the next one, both of their parents (business associates) are urging them to get married. They invite them to a fancy dinner and all six of them sit in awkward silence until Min-Young’s mother decides to take the lead.

“Since things have been going well between you two, we think it’s time for you to settle.”

That’s what she said.

Not like they wanted grandchildren or anything, nope, just wanted to make things easier for them. Since they don’t have any brothers or sisters, it was only “natural” for them to marry and finally join the two companies.

He knew that they had been delighted when two years ago they met and started off as friends and then one year ago, started dating, but he never suspected they’d be so direct about their intentions.

“And it’s not like you’re getting any younger.”

Min-Young’s father had said, which had caused her to go pink with embarrassment, eyes shiny with tears and hands fiddling under the table, where only Seungcheol could see.

She was two years older than him, but that was a low blow. So when he reached out to take her hand, and she smiled up at him, he felt a little bit better than he had all night.

He hadn’t thought about marriage that much, not the ceremony per sé, but being with someone for the rest of your life sounded appealing and having a family too and maybe they _did_ have a future together, maybe they-

“It’d be a mutually beneficial choice for all of us, and I doubt any of you will be meeting someone else, considering—”

“Okay,” He blurts out, eyes fixed on Min-Young’s and suddenly all heads turn towards him and he twitches in his seat, not letting go of his girlfriend’s hand.

“Well, _excellent._ We should make a toast for that.”

And he has no idea what happened after that.

He said yes.

He said _yes_ , mostly because Min-Young seemed so upset and he actually felt good about them… maybe not marrying and a wedding, but they do get along well, don’t they?

They’re in a great place right now and _why not?_ He’s only twenty five but they’re both in a great place financially (having their parent’s support for everything and a workplace in their respective companies). They don’t live together but eventually they could.

And it’s not like he’s having second thoughts about it, but now that he wakes up, checks his phone and stares sleepily at the last message, he still can’t believe it all happened so fast.

_Thank you._

Only that and a little heart emoji.

He wishes she didn’t say _thank you_ , because it makes the whole situation sad. 

Yesterday’s proposal wasn’t even a proposal. He just thought it’d be... a bit more romantic. Truth is, it just seemed practical, to please Min-Young’s parents, and his own, and he gets that.

He wonders if he should have said something else.

He groans against his pillow and reaches out blindly for his phone.

The first one he decides to call is Jihoon.

The phone is already dialing in his ear when he realizes that maybe he should have called his grandparents or the rest of his family first, but calling Jihoon after getting some (good or bad) news is so ingrained in him that he figures he’ll be reaching for Jihoon until he’s sixty and more.

“You usually never call,” Jihoon says, as soon as he picks up. And it’s true, but he can’t possibly send him a text or a email over this.

“I kind of, um, got engaged. Last night.” Seungcheol says, without preamble.

There’s silence on the line for a few seconds and Seungcheol anxiously picks at his fingernails.

“Engaged.” Jihoon repeats, dubiously. “Was the sex that good, because—”

“ _No.”_ He says immediately, cheeks burning. “It’s kind of a long story, actually. I had the craziest dinner last night.”

Seungcheol sighs and can faintly hear some background noise, probably Soonyoung making breakfast, for all the pots banging.

“You sound exhausted.” Jihoon comments, nonchalantly and Seungcheol only now notices he _is._

“Well, _thanks.”_ He can’t help but reply, because if he starts feeling bad about himself things will go to hell.

“Congrats, man.” Jihoon says instead, not an ounce of excitement in his voice, but Seungcheol knows he’ll warm up at the idea. _It’s too soon_ , he had said, _you don’t even know each other that well_ , when this came out as a possibility in a crazy kind of too-honest-conversation they had, a few weeks back.

They were actually joking, thinking about maybe a few years in the future, but well shit.

But it’s ten in the morning and a Saturday, so he knows that if he didn’t wake up Jihoon it means he’s working on something.

So he’s probably busy. 

“I know it’s a bit—” He starts, rushing to explain.

“Drinks are on me, if you are up to it.” He adds and Seungcheol lets out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. That sounds more like him.

Truth is, Jihoon’s opinion matters to him the most. He wasn’t sure he could deal with Jihoon disagreeing about this.

“Next week, Jihoonie.” He’d take on the offer now, but he should be working now. Also his place is a mess.

Jihoon hums his agreement and Seungcheol is glad he isn’t asking more questions.

He’s catching up himself.

***

It’s been a week.

They decided to throw a wedding, with an actual _party_ and everything, spending their parents money since they’re paying, so they’ll go big or go home.

The thing was, Min-Young was busier than him regarding to work, and that meant one problem.

Apart from the movies, he had no idea about weddings.

At all.

And if they wanted to make a big massive event, it only meant that Seungcheol needed help.

Professional help.

Because the only decision their parents made was the date and it was three months and a week or so from now. They had to do something about it _now._

Which Seungcheol didn’t know, but later learned, that apparently it was no easy task to plan a wedding in three months, because all the people he had called had practically asked him if he was out of his mind or joking.

All the places were booked. All the planners had already other weddings to worry about and he was getting worried about how they were supposed to go on with this big event idea.

He was in his office, checking through websites, refusing to give up, when his phone started to blink with a notification.

_Soonyoung said he had read about his guy in the wedding business, if you can believe that. Give him a call._

There’s a name and number attached.

God bless, Kwon Soonyoung.

(Probably he had talked too much about this to Jihoon and then Jihoon to Soonyoung, but now he was glad he had).

It’d be his try number seventeen. Maybe this one would work.

He really hoped it would.

***

Yoon Jeonghan.

The name doesn’t ring a bell, not at all. But again, what does Seungcheol know about weddings? Nothing. That’s why he needs all the help he can get.

He decides to call right away, having a good feeling about this. With the others, he had searched online first, but now he just contacted him, assuming it was trustworthy.

The phone rings a few times and just when Seungcheol thinks no one will pick up, someone does.

“Hello?” And there’s this breathy tone, of a man, a young one perhaps. And he sounds as he had been running or walking hurriedly, but there’s no background noise.

Seungcheol licks his lips, suddenly nervous.

“Hi… hello.” He says and realizes he should introduce himself a minute or so too late.

“Who is this?” The other asks, impatiently.

He really is a mess today, isn’t he?

“Choi Seungcheol. Sorry,” He says quickly, he falls on his chair, watching at his screen. There’s a photo of Min-Young and him on the beach. “There’s… by any chance, are you Yoon Jeonghan? A friend of mine gave me this number because he told me you were a wedding…” He struggles for the term.

“Planner?” Jeonghan provides and laughs quietly at that. “Yes, are you interested in hiring my services?” He asks and Seungcheol can’t help but notice how smooth he sounds, how proud of himself.

He feels the actual opposite today.

“Um, yes. If you can help me. It’s on October, the fourth and-”

And he’s interrupted by Jeonghan’s laugh.

This has to be the strangest reaction he has gotten.

“You want me to plan a wedding in three months?” He says, after a thoughtful pause.

“Well, it’s actually three months _and_ a week, so I—”

Jeonghan actually _laughs_ at that (again), it’s loud and obnoxious and certainly not the way Seungcheol expected this to go, but he can’t help but think that despite the rudeness, the sound is awkwardly endearing.

He doesn’t know how old is Jeonghan, but he sounds remarkably young.

“ _Seungcheol-ssi._ ” He says pointedly, laughter still prominent on his words.

Seungcheol should probably be offended by this, but instead he’s nervously capping and uncapping his pen with his free hand, worried about how he’ll manage to pull this off _all by himself_ , if Jeonghan says no.

He doesn’t want to think about that possibility.

“You know what you’re asking me it’s totally crazy, almost impossible to accomplish in such short notice, a ridiculous request, a—”

“I understand is—” Seungcheol begins, cheeks heating in embarrassment despite himself.

“I’ll take it.” The voice at the other side says and Seungcheol can almost hear his smile, he sounds too cocky for someone that sounds as if he’s the same age as him, and he can’t have that much experience in the business anyway.

It’s like a weight has been lifted from Seungcheol’s shoulders though, and he smiles, sighing in relief.

“Really?” He asks, because he can’t help himself, how did he get so lucky?

“Of course,” Jeonghan says. “I absolutely _love_ challenges.”

Seems like he got himself a wedding planner after all.


	2. First meeting

“So I hired him.“

“So you hired him.” Jihoon repeats dubiously, placing his coffee mug down.

They had finally managed to meet in Jihoon’s favorite coffee place, just a few blocks from his studio and Seungcheol’s office, and it’s seven am, before they headed to their workplaces. They usually don’t meet this early (Jihoon would sleep the day if he could) and the drinks’ offer is still hanging in the air until they have time to meet during an afternoon.

He had insisted today though, because he really wanted to talk to Jihoon about Jeonghan.

But It had been the craziest week and they couldn’t meet sooner, besides considering Jihoon’s work as a producer he barely had the time to actually sit down and drink a coffee with his friend.

Sure, they text and sometimes talk on the phone, but this isn’t the same.

Seungcheol kind of misses seeing him more often.

Or maybe this whole wedding thing is making him even more anxious and sappy than he usually is.

“And?” Jihoon prompts, because he might play the act that he’s not a people person, but God he knows how to read Seungcheol’s mood.

“And what?” Seungcheol looks down at this coffee instead, trying a nervous smile, dimples showing.

Jihoon sighs.

“Just spit it out, Cheol.”

“I’m nervous.” He blurts out and Jihoon closes his mouth at that, just watching him. Actually he’s been feeling off since this whole engagement happened and he has to admit that having Jeonghan by his side did cheer him up yesterday, but he’s still feeling uneasy about the... _thing_.

What if Min-Young decides she doesn’t want to do this after all? What if this ruins their relationship? What if Min-Young didn’t want him to say yes and he did and now he fucked up?

He knows he needs to talk to her about this, but it’s getting too real too fast and he doesn’t know what to do.

Seungcheol is glad the cafeteria is mostly empty, everyone taking their orders to go, he wouldn’t want someone overhearing the conversation and getting the wrong idea. Besides, the company has a lot of employees, and he really doesn’t want anyone apart from Jihoon to hear this.

“Well, of course you are, it was unexpected and their parents were borderline offensive.” Jihoon says, shrugging. He has this way of saying things that manages to both calm him and unnerve him though. “But at the same time, do you _really_ want to do this?”

Seungcheol looks down, he was already picturing it in his mind. A beautiful venue and Min’s dress, how beautiful she’d look, how comfortable he’d feel.

He’s about to say he does, when Jihoon interrupts him.

“You can always cancel it.”

And his voice shouldn’t sound so soft while saying that.

“I could never do that. It’d be so cruel.” Seungcheol replies, and he’s only _partly_ whining. He understands where Jihoon’s coming from, he’s concerned and he’s glad to have a friend who will tell him the truth, even if he doesn’t want to hear it.

“Isn’t it crueler to marry a person when you don’t want to?”

Damn that stings.

Seungcheol can’t help but shift uncomfortably in his seat, looking around again, he really hopes no one can hear them. Next time, he’ll offer his apartment, it doesn’t matter if the only free time they have it’s like two in the morning on a Wednesday.

“It’s not that… I would have… probably, asked her to marry me at some point.” Seungcheol nods to himself as he says it, trying to look sure of himself. “This only made everything quicker.”

“So do you want to marry Min-Young?”

Seungcheol thinks of Min’s smile and how well they get along, how they might not be perfect to each other in every way, but they try.

“Yeah… I kind of do.” He says at the end.

Jihoon seems to pick on his insecurity, but if he does, he doesn’t comment on it.

***

Work was dull, as always, he’s not exactly satisfied with it and he was rather happy to finish early and meet with Jeonghan. He’s still thinking about Jihoon’s talk in the morning, and he hopes that putting this wedding on the road will make him feel better, he is actually _excited_ about planning a party and everything.

It’ll be fun.

He still has to let the rest of his friends and family know, but that’s a problem for later.

He’s already arriving at the café where they agreed to meet, he’s ten minutes early, but as he stands outside, checking his phone to make sure he’s in the right address, he looks around the street and his eyes get caught on _someone._

Seungcheol doesn’t know how, but he picks up Jeonghan from the crowd.

He just knows it’s him.

Somehow, his stylish clothes and thin golden specs, blond hair and delicate frame, match _perfectly_ with the arrogant way he talked on the phone and he’s walking with the confidence of a person who knows he’s being stared at.

Suddenly he feels a lot sillier in his slacks and navy button up.

“You must be Seungcheol-ssi.” Jeonghan smiles, as he arrives next to him and Seungcheol’s still so entranced by the other boy that ha barely opens his mouth to reply.

Woah, he’s handsome, even more so being this close to him. And looks like he knows it, and that’s always dangerous.

“Just Seungcheol is fine.” He assures him, stumbling on his words as he feels shy all of the sudden.

They’re so close that Seungcheol catches the silver bracelet on his right wrist, his minty breath. He’s so curious about him already, and they’ve met like five seconds ago.

“You look younger than I expected.” Seungcheol says, at loss at what to say. They should probably enter to the café, but he’s here, acting like such an idiot.

“Well, thank you.” Jeonghan says, with a knowing smirk, he’s clearly used to be on the receiving end of many compliments and Seungcheol rolls his eyes, suddenly amused instead of smitten.

“Wanna go inside?”

Jeonghan takes a look around.

“Isn’t she coming?”

For a second, Seungcheol honest to God asks himself _who?_

Oh, sure. Min-Young.

“My fiancée’s parents are retiring from their company and they want to leave her in charge, so she’s pretty busy right now.” He explains and Jeonghan hums, eyes trailing over Seungcheol’s face and clothes, as if he’s trying to dissect him into tiny little parts.

It unnerves him a little.

“I see.” And Seungcheol wonders if he wants to say anything else, but if he does, he closes his mouth, choosing to enter the café instead.

Seungcheol doesn’t know why, but he thinks maybe this will be fun after all.

***

“So October fourth.” Jeonghan comments easily, sipping on his decaf french vanilla and Seungcheol should stop looking so much at him, it’s coming off creepy. “Why so soon?”

Jeonghan pulls out a neatly looking pen and notebook as he speaks, staring at Seungcheol intently.

“Um, we just wanted to do it as soon as possible.” He replies, and it’s only partly a lie. He keeps mixing the sugar with the coffee, even though it should be okay by now.

God, he’s a mess today.

Jeonghan looks barely convinced, but instead he opens his notebook, starting to write something.

“There are a number of things we need to discuss, budget, the dress, the venue, the food, guest list, the—”

“Woah, woah, slow down.” Seungcheol says, raising his hands and Jeonghan only looks slightly exasperated at him.

“You really don’t have a clue, do you?” He asks, sounding both mocking and interested, resting his chin on his hand, it makes his jawline look really sharp, Seungcheol has to admit.

“It’s not that, um, I just wanted to write down too.”

Seungcheol pulls out his own notebook from his bag, and it’s not as neat as everything Jeonghan owns, but as he looks up, he catches Jeonghan smiling at him.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just… it’s usually the bride who’s more excited and invested in making a perfect wedding.” Jeonghan says, putting his pen down for a moment. “It’s kind of cute.” He adds and for the way his expression shifts from a smile to a smirk, he caught the way Seungcheol visibly blushed.

How couldn’t he?

This first meeting is _so_ weird.

“Aren’t you worried about payment?” Seungcheol tries to change the subject, otherwise he’ll look like an idiot, he’s sure of that.

“Sure.” Jeonghan says, but he’s shrugging, so he doubts he really cares that much. “But there’s no need to discuss that right now. There are other things to decide first. Budget?”

“Um, there’s no need to worry about money.” He says sheepishly, he doesn’t want Jeonghan to think he’s one of those rich brats who inherited all of their parent’s money and hasn’t worked a day in his life.

Well, it’s not like he should care what Jeonghan thinks, he’s only doing his job. It’s not like they’re friends or anything. Although from what he’s gathered from both his phone call and today’s meeting, he thinks that they might get along.

And technically, part of his parent’s money indeed belongs to him, but at least he has worked for it.

“That’s great, and certainly makes a few things easier.” Jeonghan comments, not at all impressed by the statement and Seungcheol’s a bit glad. “But money won’t buy us time for all the planning.”

“Oh. Okay.” Seungcheol says, scribbling down in the corner of the page. “So what do we do first?”

“We need a guest list.” Jeonghan replies. “As soon as you two decide how many guests, we can decide on a venue and then the rest.”

Seungcheol can’t help the smile, it’s day one and Jeonghan keeps saying _we_ instead of _I_ and it’s making him kind of warm on the inside. After talking to Jihoon in the morning, he felt discouraged, but now he actually has some help and it feels like it’ll work out after all.

“Hope you’re not expecting me to find a place in Seoul.” Jeonghan clicks his tongue, but he’s smiling.

“I thought you _loved_ challenges.”

“Oh, are you acting funny right now?”

“And you were only being nice to me in the beginning.” Seungcheol says, but it’s harmless. He forgot how exciting it is when you meet someone new and you click.

He just met Jeonghan, but he kind of likes him already. He could use a friend like him.

“You had to hire me first, didn’t you?” Jeonghan retorts and Seungcheol is impressed by how much he’s aware of his effect on other people.

Well, it’s not like you can go around in life looking as good as Yoon Jeonghan and _not_ be aware of that.

Witty.

They keep discussing when they’re going to meet and how, Seungcheol learns that apparently Jeonghan cleared all of his schedule to plan this wedding. He doesn’t know _why_ but he’s relieved and flattered that Jeonghan decided to do that, maybe it's just a happy coincidence.

He also learns that they’ll be seeing _a lot_ almost everyday, except for some weekends. And they already have a rough schedule about the basics for the wedding.

Seungcheol is sure that Min-Young can’t attend at least half of these dates, and he doesn’t know what to do with that. Maybe it’ll be better since he can surprise her with the result?

She deserves that much after all the work she’s been through.  

With their cups empty and the afternoon getting chilly they decide it’s time for them to call it a day. Seungcheol won’t admit it but he’s actually looking forward to their next meeting.

They stand outside the café, Seungcheol holding a paper bag with strawberry cake to go for Min-Young as Jeonghan slides his bag on his shoulder.

“See you around, Choi Seungcheol.”

Jeonghan says, smirking and then turning around and leaving, just like that. He leaves Seungcheol feeling like an idiot, he’s usually so smooth and not at all self conscious, but look at him today.

He can’t help the smile as he watches him go though.

This is bound to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose DWC era haircuts just because they're my favorites for both Jeonghan and Seungcheol so.  
> Thank you for reading!


	3. The venue - Part One.

“Min,” Seungcheol starts. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about—… no, that doesn’t sound right.”

He runs a hand through his hair, exasperated with himself, Jeonghan will be here any moment now and they’ll be together until eight and then he’s having dinner with Min-Young, it’s the only time of the day when he can actually practice and not sound like a jerk.

_Are you sure you want to do this?_

That’s what he wants to ask, but he doesn’t want Min-Young to think that _he_ isn’t sure, because he _is_ , he just doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by implying anything.

And he also has another problem in hand.

_“Guest list is a first. If you know how many people you’re inviting, you can pick a venue that will respond to all your requirements.”_

That’s what Jeonghan had said last time, but he hadn’t actually seen Min-Young and they had only texted each other, until Seungcheol fell asleep while she was still at work. She said she was tired and wanted to leave soon, and Seungcheol felt too guilty to ask her to think about their wedding guests.

He’d just have to say sorry to Jeonghan.

It’s like nine am and this is _already_ a mess.

He had talked to his parents as well, and they let them take some days off to plan the wedding (they were thrilled that he was investing his time on it) so since the venue involved travelling around, he had decided to ask for a day off today.

He really needs to go back tomorrow and work, but maybe it’ll help to have just one day to breathe and stop to think what’s he going to do.

Seungcheol checks at his watch again, last time they were both ten minutes early, and now it’s nine o’clock and Jeonghan is nowhere to be seen. It’s been three days from their first meeting, and they’ve been exchanging emails regarding themes and possible course meals, and according to Jeonghan, he should be thankful because he managed to schedule today’s visits.

He isn’t sure how much work entitles to visit some venues, but he’s no expert here, so he’ll take Jeonghan’s word on it. Speaking of the devil, a car pulls over in front of him and Seungcheol just gapes at it.

It couldn’t be, could it?

He can’t see much from his position so he bends over, squinting. For some reason, of all the things he was expecting today, it wasn’t Jeonghan in a black sleek car, specs nowhere to be seen and some elegant sunglasses instead.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Jeonghan says cheekily, raising his eyebrows.

Seungcheol manages to close his mouth and scramble to get in the passenger seat, even though he didn’t get any invitation nor permission.

“What if I do though?” Seungcheol asks, suddenly feeling _stupidly_ brave.

Against all of his expectations, Jeonghan’s cheeks tinged a little pink at that and Seungcheol feels _delighted_ to have caused the reaction.

“Fasten your seatbelt and shut up.” Jeonghan mumbles, eyeing the road instead as he steers the wheel to get into the street again.

Seungcheol can’t help the smile as he does what he’s told and decides to look at the road too, stealing some glances to check on Jeonghan, his outfit is more casual this time and Seungcheol can’t take his eyes off him, how good his striped shirt looks hanging loosely around his waist and the way his pants fit nicely on his slim figure.

He also (for some reason) didn’t picture Jeonghan in a fancy car.

“You said you wanted a big wedding.” Jeonghan comments, interrupting his thoughts. “We’re deciding on venues today, we’ve got forty minutes on each one, I printed a list you can check, it’s on the backseat. The list contains all venues and some important features. I also considered the themes you sent me and I added some comments below, so you can consider which one will work best.”

Seungcheol would lie if he’d say he paid any attention to that. He’s just so… smitten. Jeonghan looks so much in his element, leaning back against the seat as he speaks and checking his phone as he reads the address.

He can’t say he’s not jealous about it.

Jeonghan looks actually _delighted_ talking about planning the wedding and Seungcheol can’t say he feels the same about his own work.

Just sitting there in a office and busying himself with paperwork isn’t the way he pictured his life to go at twenty five, but it’s exactly what he’s doing and everytime he sees Jihoon producing or Wonwoo talking about some crazy experience with his patients, he realizes he wants that too.

Jeonghan is another reminder.

Seungcheol gets pulled out of his thoughts when the car stops, it's been like ten minutes, right? He wasn't distracted for that long, was he? He didn't even check the list.

“You’re awfully quiet today.” Jeonghan comments, nonchalantly, as he parks the car. He bites his lower lip in concentration and Seungcheol can't help but find it strangely endearing.

“Oh... I’m sorry. I just… I’ll check the list right now. This is really helpful, Jeonghan, thank you.” He says, but even then he notices his timing is off and he stayed in silence way too long.

And if Jeonghan’s expression is anything to go by, he noticed it too, Seungcheol’s heart starts beating faster, because he can’t possibly explain that he was both staring too much and thinking about him.

And Jeonghan looks like he’s about to say something.

“Have you ever been into _The Plaza_?” He asks instead, smoothly and Seungcheol almost sighs in relief, what could be more embarrassing than getting caught staring a person he met like three days ago?

He feels like such a creep.

“Not really.” He replies, unbuckling his seatbelt as fast as he can, because he feels his cheeks heating up.

What the hell is wrong with him?

Jeonghan gets out of the car at a much more leisurely pace than Seungcheol and stares at the building in front of him, eyes squinting as he takes off his sunglasses.

“Come on, let’s get inside.” Jeonghan says, smirking and Seungcheol can only follow.

He’ll have to leave existential crisis for later, now he has a wedding to worry about.

***

“This is... nice.”

Jeonghan raises his eyebrow, looking skeptical and immensely amused, although Seungcheol can’t say he knows why.

“This isn’t the main hall,” Jeonghan says with a smirk and Seungcheol finds himself blushing. “We’re in the reception right now. But good to know you’d be okay having your wedding in here, surely it’ll be much cheaper.”

“Shut up,” Seungcheol whispers, trying not to act so clueless in front of Jeonghan, apparently it’s too late for that though.

He feels such like an idiot doing this. And Jeonghan is not helping either.

Jeonghan keeps laughing until he pulls him inside by his arm (to the main hall this time), and Seungcheol can only follow, amazed by how beautiful this place is.

He can’t help but think that Jeonghan’s a bit handsy as well, it doesn’t look like he’s being deliberate, but it still surprises Seungcheol, his two best friends are not exactly the most touchy persons on the world so it comes off as a surprise when Jeonghan manhandles him around as if they’ve known each other their whole lives. It’s weird, but he doesn’t feel uncomfortable about it, he’d say he actually enjoys it, he feels so out of place here and it’s like Jeonghan’s hand around his upper arm is grounding him.

Protecting him.

And he looks absolutely delighted to show him around, the marble and the windows and the beautiful glass chandelier in the middle, giving the hall an antique but sophisticated atmosphere.

This is _actually_ nice.

He can picture having their wedding here and it’s only the first venue they’ve visited. He can’t help but imagine Min in a wedding dress standing there, looking so pretty and...

He’s pulled out off his thoughts (again) by Jeonghan, who stands in the middle with a huge grin on his face and extends his arms.

“This is one of my favorites, do you like it?”

Seungcheol stares at Jeonghan instead, he looks so damn _elegant_ and confident and happy and it’s contagious, he looks like he belongs here, surrounded by the artworks and the beautiful details of the room. Seungcheol is sure he’d look handsome in a suit and making a toast at the wedding, smiling at him in that way of his.

He notices he hasn’t replied so he clears his throat, he was supposed to be thinking about Min and instead he can’t help but to picture Jeonghan.

“I… yeah,” His eyes travel to Jeonghan’s face, following the line of his jaw, the way his blond hair seems to glow due to the natural light coming through the window and his eyes glinting with restrained emotion, his smile showing his perfect teeth. The next time the words leave his mouth he’s not entirely sure what is he talking about. ”It’s beautiful.”

***

“It’s wise to pick an hotel if you have any out-of-town guests.” Seungcheol reads out loud, when they’re back in the car and Jeonghan’s already driving towards their new destination. “Min’s family is from Jeju.”

“Oh.” Jeonghan comments, setting his phone and entering the next address. “Then _The Plaza_ might be a good choice.”

Seungcheol only hums as reads the list this time, he’s sure that the list took Jeonghan time and effort, so he doesn’t want to decide on the first venue and let it go to waste. He’ll decide wisely, making sure he’s seen all the venues before picking the right one.

He must have stayed in silence for a long time again, because Jeonghan breaks the silence, sounding slightly uncomfortable.

“So… do you know how to drive?” Jeonghan asks.

“I have a license.” Seungcheol says, sheepishly. He feels a little guilty for acting so weird today, he’ll try to make decent conversation from now on, after all they’ll be stuck in this car for like eight hours, driving through Seoul. “But the office is nearby so I walk or ride on my bicycle.”

Jeonghan only hums in response, eyes glued to the road. It takes a few seconds for Seungcheol to catch up,  he’s being really slow today.

“Why? You wanted me to drive?” He hasn’t in a while and Jeonghan’s car looks so expensive…

“As if,” Jeonghan snorts immediately, turning to look at Seungcheol as he lets out an offended _Hey!._

“I’m a good driver, you know?”

“Do you actually think that I’d let you ride...” Jeonghan whispers, licking his lips and smirking in a way he must know looks attractive, Seungcheol holds his breath, staring at the other’s lips. “My car?” He adds innocently and Seungcheol’s mouth goes dry.

_What the hell?_

“I’m… already _in_ your car though,” He replies, dumbly, as he fiddles with the list. His hands are getting so sweaty, what is it with this guy? “Riding it would be… I mean…”

“You should keep reading, _Seungcheol-ssi.”_

He clears his throat again, trying not to look at Jeonghan, he doesn’t want to give him any more ammunition. He already looks way too amused at his expense.

His eyes go back to the list, but it takes him a long time to focus on the words again.

Damn Yoon Jeonghan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I'm doing, but thank you for reading anyways!


	4. The venue - Part Two.

“The last one was nice.” Seungcheol comments, as they’re walking down the street. Venue number four and five are only a few streets away, so they decided to park the car and stretch their legs after all the driving around (well, it’s not like _he’s_ the one driving, but still). It’s a bit past lunchtime so the sidewalk is packed, but they still manage to make decent conversation.

He already made Jeonghan uncomfortable before, and maybe it’s because of him thinking about him too much, but from now he’ll show him his mind is one hundred percent on this.

“You’ve said that about _every_ one of them, Seungcheol. How are you supposed to decide?” Jeonghan scoffs, crossing his arms against his chest, looking like a whiny child. “I hope you’re not this _nice_ with everything, otherwise you won’t be able to pick anything.”

“ _Hey!_ I’m not nice about everything. I think those places were really great.” Seungcheol insists, because they _were_.

“If you’d have to choose one of them right now, which one would it be?”

“Uh…”

“See?”

Seungcheol crosses his own arms against his chest, pouting, _who’s being the child now, huh?_ his mind provides so he only sighs. It isn’t that easy to choose and maybe if Min-Young were here she’d help, but he feels guilty having to pick such an important part of the wedding all by himself.

What if Min doesn’t like the place he chose? What if he fucks up?

“Don’t think about it too much.” Jeonghan says, catching his thoughtful expression and smiling knowingly. “Sometimes, with things like this, you’ll just know.”

That doesn’t sound very helpful, actually.

“The first one had a nice glass chandelier and I liked the big windows,” He comments. “The second one had that courtyard, I’m sure that Min would like that and the third had the cool—”

Seungcheol stops on his tracks when he notices Jeonghan isn’t listening to him, instead he’s stopped midway, in front of a japanese restaurant, the smell of food making his empty stomach growl. He catches the way Jeonghan’s eyes linger on the display of food.

Seungcheol noticed it was late, but Jeonghan kept insisting that they should stick to the schedule, so he didn’t dare to say that they should grab something to eat. Now he’s cursing himself, of course he should have, Jeonghan must be starving for him to stop in the middle of the street like that.

“We should…” Seungcheol starts, pointing everywhere when Jeonghan turns to him with a puzzled look. Apparently he hadn’t noticed he kept staring at the display. “I’ll buy lunch… I mean, let’s get lunch.”

“If we stop to eat lunch now we won’t manage to get to all the venues today.” He says, although something in his expression betrays him, he really looks hungry.

“Such an impeccable work ethic,” He says, and he’s only half joking, he’s seen the way Jeonghan works and he’s very professional. “But still. Let me treat you.” Seungcheol insists, smiling and he can only hope it’s charming enough to get Jeonghan to say yes.

Jeonghan checks his phone and clicks his tongue, Seungcheol knows he doesn’t want to waste any time, but they’ve got to eat eventually, they’ve been doing this for five hours by now. He doesn’t know why Jeonghan would be opposed to him buying him lunch, maybe it’s unprofessional?

“I don’t know,” he muses, looking down at his watch and his own copy of the list.

“At least we should buy something to eat later. The last venue is far away, isn’t it?” Seungcheol asks and he can actually _see_ when Jeonghan gives up, his shoulders slumping and his expression shifting to a small slightly awkward smile.

“Fine. But we have to hurry up.”

Jeonghan walks away first and Seungcheol’s smile fades a little, there’s a nagging feeling in his chest that he didn’t have before and he doesn’t know what to do with it.

Maybe it’s just his imagination though.

***

They finally find themselves in a 7-Eleven, trying to pick what to eat.

Seungcheol notices that Jeonghan has been debating way too long between iced coffee and tea, while he’s in front of the snacks’ shelf.

He’s sure Jeonghan wouldn’t appreciate crumbs on his car, so he quickly dismisses the chips and decides to get dosirak instead. There's a lot to choose from, so he takes his time, humming as he tries to pick between two boxes that look frankly delicious right now, just then he hears footsteps approaching.

“I’m taking this,” Jeonghan announces, and Seungcheol doesn’t look up at him right away.

“Just that?” Seungcheol comments absently. “You’re so skinny, you should eat more.” He adds, clicking his tongue, not really thinking it through. When he notices he doesn’t get any reply, he looks up, concerned.

Jeonghan is standing there, a bottle of iced coffee on his hand and the most stunned expression Seungcheol has ever caught on his face.

If he looked slightly awkward before, he’s clearly upset now.

“Oh… I’m sorry, is that—” Seungcheol gulps, he had never caused this response on him and now he’s worried he fucked up everything, and they were having such a good time too.

_Well done, Choi Seungcheol._

“I’m sorry, Jeonghan,” Seungcheol repeats, more seriously, pulling back from the display.

Jeonghan _finally_ snaps out of it and shakes his head, a weird expression on his face, but at least he’s trying to smile this time and it almost works.

Seungcheol can’t help but to feel extremely guilty and dumb, he noticed something was off when they talked about lunch and he wished he hadn’t said anything.  

He had never thought _food_ of all subjects was a delicate one. Or was it the lunch? Or the fact he called him skinny? Still.

He fucked up.

“It’s fine. We should get going.” Jeonghan assures, quieter than usual and heads to the cashier.

Seungcheol turns quickly around, picking two boxes of dosirak anyway and some juice for himself. Hoping that maybe Jeonghan will decide to eat something apart from his iced coffee later.

Before paying, he adds some cereal bars too.

Just in case.

***

“ _Ugh_.”

Jeonghan sighs. For all that Seungcheol seemed earnest and ready to invest his time and energy in the wedding, he certainly looks like a whiny child now. He’d say it’s endearing, but he’s not very indulgent when it comes to work.

He focuses on the road instead, it’s getting late and the next venue is the furthest from Seoul, if they don’t get there in twenty minutes they’ll barely have any time to check the place and then—

“How many more?”

Seungcheol’s voice interrupts him from his thoughts and Jeonghan has to suppress a groan. He _knows_ how many more, he read the list too.

“Only one.”

And he can see Seungcheol’s expression shifting, Jeonghan wonders if he knows how expressive he is, how easy to read.

“I was… supposed to have dinner with Min at eight and it’s already seven.” He comments and Jeonghan knows what’s coming _Let’s pick right now and leave_ , _I don’t need to visit the last one,_  it’s not like he took forty eight hours only to make this schedule for today anyways, it’s not like he had to make call after call to—

“I’ll tell her I can’t make it.” Seungcheol adds and Jeonghan’s fingers relax on the steering wheel. Wait, _what?_

He must catch the surprised expression on his face, because he smiles sheepishly. “I know you put a lot of work in this, it’d be a shame not to visit all the venues.”

Jeonghan feels so relieved at that, he can’t help it, there’s warmth all over and he hopes his cheeks hadn’t gone too red. It’s not everyday that someone actually appreciates the work you do.

“I’ll just make a call.” And he’s glad Seungcheol says that because he doesn’t know how he's supposed to reply to that. 

He keeps driving as Seungcheol pulls out his phone and finds the contact, Jeonghan feels nervous even though he isn’t the one calling.

What if she gets mad?

“Hey, Min.” Seungcheol says as she picks up the phone, his tone so soft and gentle that Jeonghan finds himself smiling too. “How are you?” he adds and Jeonghan keeps looking at him, noticing how his smile drops with her response.

That can’t be good.

“Oh, you can’t— that’s okay, Min. I’m still… checking on venues. Don’t worry.” Seungcheol says hurriedly, saying goodbye a few moments later, he puts the phone back into his pocket and the silence in the car is too much.

Jeonghan doesn’t know what to say. He’s learned more about Seungcheol today than he’d have ever expected, but somehow seeing this feels too intimate. He should keep driving and mind his own business and avoid to meddle in his boss’ love life and—

“Seungcheol… are you okay?”

A few seconds passes and Seungcheol looks down, sighing.

“Oh… yeah, well I was about to cancel too. I just… hoped she’d take some time off too to,” He mumbles, deciding not to end that sentence, he keeps picking on his pants, not looking at the road or the list.

Jeonghan decides to give him his privacy and he doesn’t talk until they manage to get to the location, it’s already dark and the streets are a bit emptier, but they’re still expecting them to show them around.

The last venue is the most tiring of them all, it involves several hotel rooms and big stairs and _lots_ of talking from the host, but they’re both quiet and exhausted by now. So after half an hour or so, they’re already leaving the place, trying not to drag his feet on the pavement.

“It was beautiful.” Seungcheol says, but something about the way he says it, has Jeonghan thinking that he’s only commenting on his sake.

Maybe they shouldn’t have come after him calling his fiancée, but how could he know that everything would be so awkward?

“Yeah, it was.” Jeonghan says and he follows Seungcheol heading to the passenger seat. “Hey, Seungcheol,” he interrupts, his heart pounding. “Thank you for coming anyway.”

_Although it probably caused you some problems with your girlfriend._

Seungcheol looks surprised, hand midway to the car handle. And he _smiles_ looking so genuine that it manages to calm Jeonghan’s troubled heart.

“Don’t mention it.” He assures him and Jeonghan finds himself smiling too.

***

When they make it to Seoul, it’s eleven and they’re beyond exhausted.

Jeonghan insisted on dropping off Seungcheol to his apartment, because he kept dozing off on the way back and he didn’t trust him in any public transportation right now.

Seungcheol has to admit that he indeed dozed off, but he couldn’t properly sleep, because Jeonghan kept saying (read: whining) _Seungcheol, hey, don’t sleep on me_ and _I get sleepy if no one’s talking to me_ for like two hours, so they had to make at least some decent conversation to make it home and avoid a car crash due to Jeonghan being sleepy too.

“Let me know when you get home.” Seungcheol says, gummy smile on display as he closes his door, leaning on the open window.

Jeonghan yawns and nods distractedly and then he seems to remember _why_ they were here today.

“Wait a second, you didn’t tell me which one.”

Oh, right. The venues.

Seungcheol already has been thinking about this on the way back, the one with the courtyard seemed perfect for Min, the third one the piano that he can picture Jihoon playing a ballad on, and the last one had a pool that Soonyoung would love.

His eyes focus on Jeonghan, wondering what to do. Usually he takes time with decisions and this is an important one. But if he has to be honest with himself, there’s something about one place in particular he can’t stop thinking about.

_This is one of my favorites, do you like it?_

Maybe it was the lightning or the amazing first impression or how happy Jeonghan looked showing him around. (Maybe Jeonghan didn’t notice, but he definitely acted more excited in that venue, and he seemed full of ideas and possible decorations). 

He won’t dwell on this particular decision right now.

“The Plaza.” He says smiling and Jeonghan lights up, even though he looked properly exhausted just a second ago.

“Oh… that’s great.” He adds, looking down and covering his mouth for a moment, which Seungcheol is starting to recognize as his way of showing shyness. It’s kind of cute for a grown up. “I… see you tomorrow.”

And then he’s gone.

Seungcheol doesn’t stop smiling until he goes to bed.


	5. The invitations

“Sounds like too much work.”

“Yeah, well, Jeonghan told me usually a wedding takes a year or so, and we’ve got only like three months and once he planned a wedding that—... why are you looking at me like that?” Seungcheol asks, trying not to pout (and failing).

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow, smiling knowingly.

“I meant Min-Young, hyung,” He says, sounding _far_ too amused and Seungcheol feels his cheeks heating up at that. “You’ve been talking about the wedding, but she hasn’t even picked anything.”

“Oh, right… I know.” He mumbles, looking down. 

If he thought at first that planning all by himself would be fun because he could surprise Min with the result, now it all seems too much for him to handle.

And he feels guilty all of the sudden, he’s having so much fun with the wedding and Min hasn’t stopped working even for a second. He can actually see Wonwoo trying to take back that last comment, because suddenly the mood has shifted, and it’s too tense.

This is not what he had in mind for their lunch together, he had wanted to talk about how things were going and how excited he was. And he hasn’t seen Wonwoo in a while, because he often has weird shifts and little time. So they had decided to squeeze a lunch between their busy schedules. Currently they’re in the hospital Wonwoo works in, eating some cafeteria lunch. It’s not the best food, but if they left to look for a restaurant or something they’d have less time to talk.

“I miss her. A lot. It’s just… I can’t be with you guys all the time and work…” He didn’t even wanted to talk about that, he hated it there. “I guess I just… I’m actually enjoying this now.” He ends with a whisper, leaving his chopsticks on the table.

Wonwoo shifts in his seat uncomfortably, not knowing what to say to lighten the mood. With Seungcheol he’s learned, he needs some encouraging words, he ends up leaning on the table, trying to make eye contact with his friend.

It’s something that he uses when he’s got children as his patients and they start crying or shying away from him.

It’s amazing how it also works with Seungcheol (not that he’ll ever tell him).

“Hyung, I think it’s great you’re having a good time. I’m sure Min-Young will help with some decision making, once she gets some time off. You’ll be fine.” Wonwoo says and Seungcheol looks up, trying to believe that.

Maybe Wonwoo’s words hit him hard because no one had said that out loud to him, even though he _knows_ that he misses Min-Young and that it’s unfair he’s having such a great time while Min keeps struggling with her job and her parents’ expectations.

Suddenly he misses Min so much. He really wants to see her tonight, they made dinner reservations and he’s really looking forward to that.

But still, it’s lunchtime and he has to go back to work and then meet Jeonghan and _then_ he’ll see Min.

“Thank you,” he whispers at the end, trying a small smile to make Wonwoo feel better. He’s to go back from his shift soon, he doesn’t want him to be worried. Wonwoo smiles back too and Seungcheol decides to finish his food and have patience until tonight.

“You’re welcome.”

Then the conversation shifts from that, to Jeonghan and Jihoon working on a new album, and Mingyu’s new job. With lunch’s long finished and time running out, they say goodbye, Wonwoo hugging him tighter than he usually does.

“It’ll be okay, hyung.” He says on his ear, as he pats his back gently.

Seungcheol tries really hard not to cry.

*******

“I have to tell you, I’m impressed you _wanted_ to pick the invitations, people usually tell me to do it.” Jeonghan comments, as they enter to a printing service, apparently. Apparently just because it looks a bit more… quaint than the places they usually go to.

Seungcheol doesn’t want to admit he’s regretting to come pick the invitations today, because he’s not feeling exactly like himself after talking to Wonwoo. And he’s not in the best mood to talk right now, but Jeonghan doesn’t deserve his sulky self, because he hasn’t done anything wrong.

“This printing service is _the best_ ,” Jeonghan comments, totally oblivious to Seungcheol’s mood. “I work with them all the time, because they’ve got the best stationary and you can find the fonts too, since you don’t have the guest list it’s okay, but we can pick the design and the colors, the envelope too.”

Not even Jeonghan’s little smile and enthusiasm can lift his spirit, so he only follows around, trying to hum in appreciation. And if Jeonghan notices his pensive mood, he doesn’t comment on it.

They finally reach a room at the end of the hallway, while Jeonghan keeps chatting animatedly with the person in charge. Seungcheol tries really hard not to sigh, feeling impatient and grumpy, it’s six pm and he just wants to go home (and see Min).

There’s a table full of paper samples with different designs on them and Jeonghan seems delighted, looking like a kid in a candy store.

“They did such a wonderful work,” Jeonghan comments absently, fingers stroking one of the samples.

Seungcheol doesn’t know if the comment is aimed at him or not, so he doesn’t bother replying, deciding it should be the best if he tried to pick quickly. He’ll still try to do his best, because he still thinks Jeonghan deserves that much.

He’s put so much effort in this that it makes Seungcheol’s heart clench with something he can’t name.

“So?” Jeonghan says, grinning wide. “Which one do you like?”

He’s had enough time to look at all of them, and he really tried to find a reason to pick one, but when his eyes meet Jeonghan, he can’t lie to him.

“These all look… very similar, don’t they?” Seungcheol mumbles with a nervous laugh and he can see the way Jeonghan’s heart kind of shatters at that, shoulders slumping and smile fading.

Oh fuck.

“I mean,” he rushes to make it better, he can’t say why, but he doesn’t want to be the reason for Jeonghan to be unhappy. “What I meant was… these are all great, I really don’t know which one to pick.” He adds, only a tad awkwardly.

And it doesn’t convince Jeonghan at all, because he keeps looking at him with something like pity.

Or sadness.

“Do you… I can choose if you don’t want to.” Jeonghan mumbles, scratching the back of his neck and then fixing his specs (no sunglasses today), looking uncomfortable.

Seungcheol wishes earth could swallow him whole.

“No, _no.”_ He says, harshly and it makes Jeonghan look up. “I’m sorry. I want to pick one, I really do, just give me a few minutes.”

Jeonghan only nods slowly at that and they take a few minutes more to look around, it’s an uncomfortable silence and Seungcheol feels guiltier than he felt at lunchtime.

He’s being such a mess today.

Finally he tries to focus on the stationary, the designs and he finds one sample in particular he likes, when he reach out to take it though, his hand meets with Jeonghan’s. There’s only one touch, one second, and it feels like electricity, they both pull back immediately, looking spooked.

As if they’re breaking some spell.

Seungcheol’s cheeks turn red and Jeonghan just looks at the other side.

“That one is pretty nice.” Jeonghan comments, sounding slightly back like his usual self and Seungcheol feels way too relieved at that.

Maybe he can make it through today without upsetting Jeonghan again.

“Yeah, it is… um, nice.”

Jeonghan dares to pick up the sample they both wanted and he smiles for a second, turning and leaving the room for a few minutes, to inform they made their decision, probably.

Seungcheol still feels like an idiot, but at least the day is already ending and Jeonghan’s small smile made this picking business a lot better.

*******

Usually Seungcheol wouldn’t have insisted on Jeonghan dropping him off to Min’s work, but it’s getting late and he doesn’t know if he’ll manage to get there in any form of public transportation.

As he sits on the passenger seat of Jeonghan’s car, fiddling with his phone, he realizes that maybe he should have taken the bus.

It’s too awkward.

They might have picked the invitations, and it was only like an hour or so (although it felt longer), but Seungcheol knows Jeonghan noticed how weird he was acting.

If he only knew about the conversation he had with Wonwoo, he’d understand.

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan says softly, eyes fixed on the road.

“Yeah?” He asks, trying to sound distracted, but it comes off strained, like he’s trying too hard to act normal, and he _is._

“Is everything okay?”

No. _Hell no._ Where does he begin? To the fact that he’s being an ass with his girlfriend during their engagement? That’s he’s enjoying this too much and Min’s stuck with work? To the fact that he hasn’t even call her to ask for help with some decision making?

“That’s… not something I want to talk about,” Seungcheol whispers, and it’s out before he can even think about the implications. He also doesn’t mean it to sound so edgy, but apparently it _does_ and Jeonghan looks down in response, biting his lower lip.

They don’t talk for the rest of the road.

***

Seungcheol feels like shit.

If he ever thought that he could forget about Wonwoo telling him to think about Min, he was _so_ wrong. Not only he was awkward the rest of the day, fucking up at work with some contracts, then at Jeonghan with the invitations and then at Jeonghan _again_ at the car, he didn’t even apologize to him for acting so weird.

He said goodbye to Jeonghan only a minute ago, and he feels his eyes burning already, the frustration from all day long making him exhausted and sad.

Why didn’t he say sorry to Jeonghan? Why didn’t he explain? He could have, but he chose not to. He can only hope for him to forgive him when he says sorry next time they see each other.

He looks down at his shoes, willing the tears away, Min will be out of the building in a few minutes and he doesn’t want her to catch him crying.

Suddenly there’s a light pressure on his shoulder and he takes a moment to realize it belongs to Min, her hand squeezing him gently to call his attention.

“Cheol?” She asks, a tentative smile playing on her lips and a slight frown on her features, he doesn’t know how he looks, but Min must have caught the way he was standing there, looking like a lost puppy.

“Oh, God, Min,” He blurts out, turning to her and sweeping off her feet in a tight hug, she muffles a laugh against his shoulder and the sound is so refreshing that it makes his heart ache. A few bystanders turn to watch, but Seungcheol ignores them. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Cheol, we talked last night,” Min-Young says, half laughing, trying to look into his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” He mumbles and he only notices his eyes have gone shiny with unshed tears. “I just… had a weird day today. I missed you.” He repeats, pulling back and letting her stand properly. He cleans his cheeks with his sleeves and Min reaches out to stroke his cheek, not saying a word.

He must really look like shit.

“I know we made dinner reservations, but can we just eat something at home?” He mumbles looking down, because if he meets her eyes he’s going to cry. “Please?” he adds, his voice breaking when the word leaves his mouth.

He should have said sorry to Jeonghan. He should have included Min more. He should have been more thoughtful with them both.

He feels such like a horrible person right now.

Min reaches out to caress his hair, but still it doesn’t manage to make him feel better.


	6. The guest list

“I don’t understand.”

Jeonghan groans, pressing his face against the pillow, sounding way too much like a strangled cat.

“He told you he _wanted_ to pick the invitations, but when you got there, he didn’t and he treated you— I’m only quoting here—like utter shit?”

The only response Jisoo gets is another groan, louder this time.

“I see.” He says, going back to mixing the vegetables and the rice, hand on his hip. And he takes a few seconds before uttering the next few words, because sometimes Jeonghan won’t see for himself what’s actually in front of him. “Don’t you think you’re being a little…”

“What?” Jeonghan asks sharply, raising his face from the pillow, looking _dangerous_ , but Jisoo doesn’t budge.

They wouldn’t be best friends if he did.

“Maybe you’re overreacting. He’s been nice, hasn’t he? Maybe he only had an awful day,” He replies, shrugging and Jisoo knows Jeonghan would hate to admit that maybe he’s right. “Cut him some slack, you said it yourself, right? He doesn’t know a thing about weddings and he’s got no help.”

“Why aren’t you taking _my_ side?” Jeonghan whines, bottom lip standing out and everything. It makes him look so much younger that for a second Jisoo thinks about letting him have it.

But teasing Jeonghan is too much fun to let it pass.

“There are no sides,” Jisoo corrects calmly, a small smile playing at his lips as he turns to pick up the sesame oil, and Jeonghan pouts even more, offended at his friend for not taking this seriously enough.

“There _are_ , why won’t you take mine?”

Jisoo only rolls his eyes, it’s nine pm and as soon as he had gotten home from his shift, he had found Jeonghan clearly sulking on the sofa (and he hadn’t moved since then). So he decided to start on dinner, because they had been eating takeaway for like a week and he’s in the mood to cook.

Even if it’s only fried rice, it’s still healthier than the pizza and chicken they’ve been ordering.   

“How about you set the table instead? Maybe then I’ll consider taking your side,” Jisoo comments nonchalantly and he can almost hear Jeonghan’s eye roll on his next few words.

“I have a _terrible_ day and _this_ is the treatment I get?”

“Shut up and set the table.” He says fondly, and it makes Jeonghan sigh dramatically, although he does stand up and helps, while dragging his feet and everything, because his roommate is an actual child.

A few minutes later the table is set, the food is ready and Jisoo manages to catch the way Jeonghan stares down at his portion (served by Jisoo), as if planning to say something, but at the end he doesn’t and just starts eating.

Jisoo will be damned if he keeps passing on opportunities for Jeonghan to eat something. Anything.

He’ll stuff him with food as much as he can for now.

“It’s good,” He hears Jeonghan mumble around a mouthful and Jisoo smiles, leaning on his elbow. When Jeonghan’s planning a wedding he barely has the time to sit down and eat, so Jisoo’s glad they’re spending time together now.

“Am I actually getting a compliment for my cooking? Who are you and what have you done to my frie—”

“I’m taking it back. It’s barely edible, the worst thing I’ve tried, I’m trying really hard not to puke.”

Both of them dissolve laughing, Jisoo reaching out to put some more vegetables on Jeonghan’s bowl and trying to pinch his arm playfully.

Just as Jisoo’s about to retort, Jeonghan’s phone chirps with a text and Jisoo raises his eyebrow, curiously. He’s told Jeonghan a number of times that they shouldn’t eat with their phones on the table, but if it’s work it’s an exception they both agree on.

Jeonghan’s smile fades a little as he picks up the phone, leaving his chopsticks on the table.

It’s a text from Seungcheol.

_I have the guest list._

He hadn’t hoped to hear from him so soon. They met a few hours ago, and it’s late, and he could have called. Or emailed him. Jeonghan thinks about not replying, but it’d be so unprofessional and he’s everything but. Still... Seungcheol acted like an asshole (Jisoo insists his wording is too harsh) and he deserves some awkward texting.

_Ok._

He doesn’t even manage to place the phone back into the table, when another text comes.

_Sorry about today._

And this time Jeonghan stares at the screen, for a long minute, rereading again and again. He wishes the text wouldn’t have made his cheek heat up, because Jisoo is right in front of him and he’s sure he noticed. He’s also amazed how quickly his mood shifted after only _one_ text, and deep down he’s glad Seungcheol is so aware of what he does, of all the effort he puts through in every detail.

He doesn’t remember a client saying sorry to him before, even though he clearly deserved it in some occasions.

But maybe Jisoo’s right though, and he’s exaggerating.

“You look conflicted,” Jisoo comments airily, eyes focused down on his food even though from his point of view, he could easily read the notifications on the screen of Jeonghan’s phone.

But _sometimes_ he’s too nice for that.

“Want to talk about it?” He asks, just as the phone chirps with another text.

Jeonghan scrunches up his nose, which means _no_ , so Jisoo goes back to his food.

_Can I treat you dinner?_

_Or something else._

And the last one comes in quick succession, almost as an afterthought, maybe Jeonghan is underestimating Seungcheol’s hability to notice things, although he was pretty obvious the day they picked the venues.

“He invited me to dinner,” Jeonghan replies quietly, once he had managed to calm his rapidly beating heart. He wasn’t exactly expecting an apology… he only wanted to whine to Jisoo and maybe act like everything was normal next neek.

He’s pleasantly surprised by Choi Seungcheol, right now.

“Aren’t you going to reply?” Jisoo asks, pointing the abandoned phone with his chopsticks.

Jeonghan smiles knowingly.

“Nah, let him wait.”

“You’re too mean.” Jisoo says, rolling his eyes.

Jeonghan can act all dramatic and hurt, but on the inside he’s still kind of a brat.

***

Seungcheol is not exactly sure why he’s so nervous.

A day had passed since his small breakdown right outside of Min’s office, and he spent the night in her apartment, they just talked on and on about work and the wedding, they even worked on the guest list and they cuddled on the sofa until the sun started to rise.

But when Seungcheol had woken up, he was all alone.

Min had left a sticky note on his phone ( _sorry, I had to leave for work and you looked too tired, I didn’t want to wake you.)_ And a little heart drawn on the side.

It had been a reminder of _why_ he felt like shit yesterday, but now he has to admit that the future’s looking brighter, he had talked to Min about how he felt and they even managed to plan something for the wedding, both of them. He feels like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, and he’s excited to make a wedding that Min can enjoy.

He only needed to settle down things with Jeonghan now.

He had texted him. Last night. But Jeonghan didn’t reply until today. At noon.

(And the only reply he got was _where?_ ).

Surely he knew Seungcheol had been waiting anxiously by the phone for his reply and he had _decided_ not to reply sooner.

But still, he won’t think about it, because he still thinks he needs to apologize properly. Maybe some people (Jihoon) would say that Seungcheol apologized too much, that he always thought that everything was his fault, but when he had seen Jeonghan’s smile fade at the printing service... he had felt like the worst person in the world.

He should at least apologize for causing a sad expression on such a pretty face.

So, he’s nervous.

Standing in the middle of the sidewalk, because he was about to enter the restaurant when Jeonghan told him he was getting there so instead of waiting inside, he stayed put.

He thinks that maybe everything will go well, next time he wants or doesn’t want to pick something for the wedding he’ll just tell Jeonghan and they can talk it through. And Min will help.

He’s not all by himself planning his wedding after all.

“What’s so funny?” A voice comes from his side and Seungcheol turns around quickly, looking alert. Jeonghan’s standing there, wearing all black (something that Seungcheol hasn’t seen before) and looking too amused at his confusion.

He was waiting for Jeonghan to park his car right in front of him, but now he seems he just walked here?

“Nothing.” He says quickly, cheeks heating up, he _always_ does this, why does he keep sneaking on him?

“Doesn’t look like nothing to me,” Jeonghan replies, raising his eyebrows with a playful smile.

And Seungcheol hadn’t noticed until now, but it wasn’t awkward at all, not as he thought it’d be. Jeonghan is acting just like himself, and he’s so fucking glad.

“Let’s just… get inside, okay?” Seungcheol says instead of replying, gesturing to the restaurant awkwardly.

He had finally picked a nice little place, not too fancy, but with delicious food and lots of different options to choose from, because if Jeonghan’s picky about food or anything, he doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable.

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything in reply and just turns, smile plastered to his face the whole time.

Seungcheol sighs, but trails after him anyway.

***

So far, dinner goes surprisingly well, judging by Seungcheol’s standards.

Jeonghan seemed not to have a problem when he had to pick food (although he only picked some soup and salad), so maybe Seungcheol’s hypothesis is wrong after all and Jeonghan doesn’t have a problem with food?

Maybe he really doesn’t like eating while working, because some people might consider unprofessional.

(Seungcheol doesn’t).

And the service was quick too, only a few minutes after ordering their food’s already on the table and they eat in comfortable silence.

“Can I ask you something?”

Seungcheol chews around his last mouthful of food and nods, slightly taken aback by Jeonghan’s tone of voice, he sounds worried. Or scared.

“You and Min-Young… is everything okay?” Jeonghan asks and then he adds hurriedly. “It’s not my place to ask and you don’t have to reply if you don’t want to, but… I’d really like to know.”

Seungcheol thinks about last night, and how Min held him when everything became too much and he cried.

“Yeah, it’s okay.” He says, and he seems to sound sure enough, because Jeonghan looks relieved as well. "It really is."

And he _actually_ feels sure this time.

They’ll be fine, it’ll work out perfectly.

As Seungcheol stares down at his food, he notices that maybe this is his opportunity to ask something that’s been nagging him since he met Yoon Jeonghan, a few days ago.

“While we’re talking about that,” Seungcheol starts, trying and failing to look disinterested. ”Are you… in a relationship or something?”

_Way to go, Seungcheol. So smooth._

Jeonghan blinks at him, which Seungcheol starts to recognize as his expression of surprise. It’s not like it’s a weird thing to ask, right? He has every right to be curious and now they’ve been talking and getting to know each other a bit more it makes total sense.

But...

Maybe he asked too soon? Maybe is too personal?

“I bet you must be curious.” Jeonghan says, after a few seconds of silence, Seungcheol only shrugs awkwardly, wondering if he’s going to reply or not.

“Aren’t you going to tell me?” He insists gently, an uncomfortable laugh leaving his lips despite himself.

Jeonghan grins devilishly, holding his gaze until Seungcheol decides to look down, biting his lower lip.

Okay then.

Then the conversations shifts from that to his work and friends, and how the restaurant has a very decent wine selection. And through dinner, Seungcheol realizes how easy it’s to talk to Jeonghan, if he decides to ignore the relationship subject.

It’s like they’ve been friends for years now.

After his conversation with Min and this dinner with Jeonghan, he has to admit this is the happiest he’s been in weeks.

He can do this.

***

“Oh. I almost forgot.”

Jeonghan turns, fixing his scarf around his neck at the sudden blast of cold air as the restaurant’s doors close behind them.

“I brought a printed copy of the guest list.” Seungcheol says, looking through his bag.

It’s not like Jeonghan had forgotten, but they (strangely enough) had hardly talked about the wedding during dinner, it’s almost like they were two friends catching up in their lives, not employer and employee.

It was… nice.

Nicer than he expected.

“Here.” Seungcheol finally pulls out a black folder, cheeks dimpling when he smiles at him. “I thought you’d appreciate that we organized them in groups of five or six already, to match the tables.”  

Jeonghan blinks up at him, he had mentioned that… but while Seungcheol kept dozing off in his car after they visited the venues, he thought he’d need to remind him.

But this… well, saves a lot of time and it’s kind of… thoughtful.

“Jeonghan?” Seungcheol asks, when he doesn’t get a reply and he snaps out of it, reaching out to take the folder from Seungcheol’s hand.

Their fingers brush for only a second, and Jeonghan retreats his hand quickly, shocked by Seungcheol’s warmth (figuratively and literally speaking).

“Thanks,” He replies, a bit lower than usual. He wishes he could calm his rapidly beating heart, but it isn’t working.

Luckily Seungcheol is trying to call a taxi and it distracts him for a second, so he takes the list, pretending to read, but truth is he can’t really focus on the names. Not that they’d mean anything to him anyway.

He hates that _everything_ that Seungcheol does or doesn’t do affects him that much.

What the hell is wrong with him? It’s just another wedding.

Just another employer.

“My taxi arrived.” Seungcheol says, and according to his tone of voice, he has said it already.

“Oh… okay, bye.” Jeonghan replies, probably sounding like an idiot. _T_ _hanks for dinner_ he wants to say, but the words won’t come off of his mouth. Seungcheol smiles at him, like he _knows_ , and he steps forward, to open the car door, but just then he stops, as if he had just remembered something.

“Your hands were _freezing_.” Seungcheol says hurriedly, digging through his bag again. How many things does he have in there? “Here.” He pulls out a heat pack and places it on Jeonghan’s hand, squeezing lightly with both of his hands as if to make his point.

“Don’t catch a cold, okay?”

And then he’s gone.

The taxi leaves, turning around the corner in a minute or so, but Jeonghan still doesn’t move.

He stays standing in the middle of the sidewalk, looking dumbfounded, cheeks burning, hand still reaching out (he was going to shake hands, tacky but whatever), heat pack heaving on his shaky hold.

Oh _fuck_ , it’s only one apology and one little kind gesture (and dinner and worry about his efforts and a gummy smile).

But still.

He might be falling for this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came out longer than I expected, but I had to include Jisoo <3  
> Thank you for your wonderful comments!


	7. The dress

Jeonghan wakes up to a text.

Not _any_ text, and certainly not sent by _anyone_.

And the implications of it makes him want to go back to bed and never have read it in the first place.

_Min wants to pick out her dress and asked if you could join her. I can’t go :( but tell me if you’re free on Wednesday._

Jeonghan stares at his phone screen for a moment, rubbing his eyes to check if he read correctly (he has no idea where he left his specs last night) and then sighing when he notices he _has._

This can’t be good.

He’s worked with brides before, actually it’s more common than working with the groom _and_ both of them. But he’s getting used to working only with Seungcheol and it’s comfortable (if he ignores a few exceptions, that were probably his fault anyway).

And it’s been two weeks since that friday’s _realization_ and nothing is making him feel better about himself.

Luckily they’ve hardly seen each other, and it has given Jeonghan time to think. He has the hotel, has the palette colors, the guest list, and it’s enough to actually have an idea about the wedding. He’s been working nonstop for days, hardly seeing Jisoo and making a mess of the living room, sticking photos of possible ideas of flowers bouquets and seat arrangements on the walls.

Jisoo has told him to clean after himself, but at the same time he knows that this usually happens when Jeonghan gets overexcited with work.

And if he doesn’t get excited over this, he’s sure he won’t manage to finish in time. Three months it’s too little for a wedding this big and they’re still missing the music, the flowers, the food.

This it’s the fastest he’s ever worked, he’s running in little sleep, and his phone is pressed against his ear almost all day long, but he’s feeling really proud of himself.

It’d be perfect if it weren’t for Seungcheol and what he’s starting to feel towards him…

He keeps reminding himself that he’s getting married in two months or so. He’s _so_ taken.

Boy, he knows how to pick them.

But maybe, and it’s what he’s been trying to say to himself the whole time, it means nothing. Sure, his heart fluttered and all of that, but who _wouldn’t_? That was some prince charming kind of act and of course he’d be flattered.

It doesn’t mean he _likes_ him. Not at all.

At least that’s what he tries to repeat to himself from monday to wednesday, until he has to join Min-Young to buy her dress.

***

Wednesday comes with light rain and warmer temperatures.

It’s not like Jeonghan can actually enjoy any of that, because he’s _l_ _ate._

He fell asleep at four, as he kept trying to arrange the tables with the guest list. It had never happened to him before, but he failed to estimate how would the tables fit in the main hall and he realized at three in the fucking morning that now he has to change _everything._

So he’s cranky, exhausted and he _overslept_.

Everything’s going wrong.

He barely took enough time to shower, he dressed up as quickly as he could, and by the time he left the apartment his hair was sticking up in all the wrong places.

He doesn’t know Min-Young, he has no idea if she usually makes it on time, but still. He said it’d be okay at ten am, and it’s nine forty three and he’s stuck in traffic, only a block or two away from his apartment.

Damn it.

He has her number, he should call, let her know he’s late. But as his fingers hover over the screen, he feels his heart beating faster and anxiety starts to churn in his stomach, making him feel sick.

He doesn’t even fully understand _why_ he’s so nervous. It’s not like he has done anything wrong, he felt flattered thanks to Seungcheol’s interest in him, but it’s not like… that doesn’t mean he’s doing something he needs to be embarrassed about.

Absolutely not.

Then _why_ can't he just call her?

He’s pulled out off his thoughts by the loud unmistakable sound of a carn horn somewhere behind him and he almost jumps, deciding to think about that later and just hurry up as much as he can now.

Jeonghan doesn’t know how but he makes it to the boutique only five minutes late, even though he was sure he’d take at least ten. He takes his bag and fixes his hair, straightening his clothes as much as he can. He still looks good, he _knows_ , but he can do _so_ much better and he doesn’t want anyone’s first impression of him to be this look.

But work is first and he’s late, not a good first impression anyway. He parks his car, pocketing his keys and as he walks towards the door, he tries to breathe it out. He’s still nervous, although he tries to repeat himself that there’s no reason to be.

The store he chose is not particularly big, but they’ve got nice, knowing employees and quite the amazing collection of wedding dresses, so he feels in his element as soon as he walks inside, smiling at the greeting staff.

He doesn’t even need to look to find Min-Young.

Only someone who decides to be Seungcheol’s girlfriend would manage to look _this_ lost in a dress shop.

The I-don’t-know-anything-about-weddings runs the couple, apparently.

It’s not like she doesn’t look feminine, quite the opposite, in fact. She’s thin and tall, and he can’t exactly tell, but he’s pretty sure she’s a few inches taller than Seungcheol. She’s also pretty, not exactly _gorgeous_ , but she looks like she doesn’t even try (although Jeonghan’s sure she does, at least at some point) and it’s refreshing.

She looks nice.

Out of place? Yes. But that’s mostly because she’s dressed in jeans, a nice blouse and flat shoes (this is still one of the best stores in Seoul, and he didn’t dress accordingly either, so he won’t complain).  

Still… she looks like she could rock in any one of these dresses and that’s the whole purpose of this.  

He stares from afar for a few moments, as her eyes get caught up in some really awful shoes on the display.

“Hello,” He greets politely, approaching her. “I’m Yoon Jeonghan,”

Min-Young turns around quickly, cheeks blushing as he was caught staring, but it quickly fades away as she bows down, a smile adorning her features instead.

“Oh, I’m… how did you know it was me?” She asks, looking interested, the store has a few women walking around and Jeonghan tries to look charming.

“Seungcheol showed me a few pictures,” He lies, bowing down as well. He’s afraid that it might have sounded offensive that he noticed it was her, because she looked slightly out of place. He doesn’t want to start with the wrong foot. “I apologize for being late, I’m not usually like this.”

Min-Young smiles brightly, reassuring.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure you’re not.”

It makes Jeonghan smile, more genuinely this time.

Seems this won’t be so terrible after all.

“So… wedding dresses, have you got anything in mind?”

***

Seungcheol can’t say he doesn’t enjoy days like these, when all he has to do is read and highlight income reports. It is boring, probably the most boring things he’s ever done, but it also allows him to be in his office.

All day long.

And no one bothers him, because it _looks_ like he’s busy.

So he usually catches up on Goblin, or listens to music, or eats, or _anything._

Today he decides it’s a good idea to call Jihoon.

(And maybe it wasn’t a good idea after all).

“You did nothing wrong.” Jihoon’s voice says over the phone, sounding reproachful and Seungcheol tries not to wince, because he should have expected this.

Still, it wasn’t like he could just hide it from Jihoon, he’s his best friend.

“But _Jihoonie_ ,” He whines, hoping it will manage to break his demeanor.

There’s silence at the other side of the line and Seungcheol thinks that maybe he made it this time.

“You know that won’t work on me.”

Nope.

Damn.

“You realize you just apologized with dinner to your wedding planner for literally _making his smile fade?”_ And he adds the last part with a mocking tone, and Seungcheol’s feels his cheeks heating up despite himself.

It sounds kind of stupid if he puts it like that.

“Well… he’s…” He trails off, afraid any excuse will only make it worse.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“But, Jihoonie,” he repeats, pouting even though he knows the other can’t see him. “He was so inspired and I hated to make him sad, you should see the way he looks when he’s talking about the wedding.”

It actually reminds him of Jihoon, after listening for the first time a song he worked in for too long.

“I didn’t want to ruin that,” he ends with a whisper and he can hear Jihoon sighing.

“Cheol—”

“And it’s such a nice smile—”

“You’re an idiot.”

Seungcheol presses his phone against his ear, not sure if he heard footsteps outside, but just in case, he sits back in his desk anyway.

“ _Hey!_ Just because you don’t hyung me it doesn’t mean I’m not older than you.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Exactly.”

There’s silence again, just a small pause and Seungcheol thinks he might have lost connection.

“You’re an idiot, _hyung.”_

Maybe Seungcheol should go back to work after all.

_***_

Turns out, Min-Young doesn’t have anything in mind.

Jeonghan doesn’t blame her, not every girl in the world has _weddings_ as her top priority.

After discussing personal preferences, they decide to separate, going around to look something that catches their attention.

“No, no sweep train, it’s tacky,” Jeonghan mumbles to himself, shoving around a particularly heavy dress to the side to look at the next one.

Finally, a member of the staff decides to stand next to him, with a questioning, easygoing expression.

“Can I help you with anything?” She asks.

“Actually, yes.” He says, turning to look at her. She must be new, because otherwise she’d have recognized him. “I’m looking for something… Something simple but elegant. A bateau neckline would be nice. And no lace, A-line, if you have one.”

“How about this one?” Min-Young’s voice interrupts him from behind and he stops on his tracks, turning to see the wedding dress she’s holding.

He blinks up at it.

Oh.

Jeonghan places a hand on his hip, suddenly interested.

“You should try it on.”

And she smiles brightly, nodding.

It takes ten minutes for Min-Young to put the dress on, and even before she can look herself in the mirror, Jeonghan knows it already, that’s the one. It’s clear as she leaves the dresser and walks to where he’s waiting, she looks confident, happy in a way it makes Jeonghan feel conflicted.

He was supposed to help picking, but she did it all on her own. It’s not that he’s mad because she didn’t follow his advice, maybe he just got used to Seungcheol knowing nothing and it was reassuring to have someone eagerly wanting to learn from you.

Maybe he’s not used to this feeling of not being needed.

“I know you’re not supposed to pick up the first one, but I really like this one.” Min-Young says and Jeonghan turns, feeling guilty for being distracted, this is clearly an important moment, there’s no time to doze off.

“I… I truly think it’s a beautiful dress,” He says, and he’s being honest, he just can’t help the way his voice sounds strained. “Great choice.”

They leave the store without much fanfare, Min-Young pays the dress with a shiny black credit card that’s clearly not hers (and she looks almost embarrassed while doing so), after the staff taking her measurements to make the first fitting.

He thought he’d be here all the afternoon, but it’s only noon when they finally walk outside.

Jeonghan is not good at awkward exchanges, except when he’s causing them himself, so he smiles politely, bowing and ready to leave, but Min-Young’s voice interrupts him.

“Jeonghan, I…” She starts, looking immediately regretful, but then she takes a deep breath, smiles and picks herself up. “I came because Seungcheol seemed really interested in making the perfect wedding and I wanted to help, you didn’t have to, but thank you for joining me. I’m sure we’re both a mess, trying to make this wedding work when we’ve got no idea.”

She ends with an awkward laugh and it painfully reminds Jeonghan of Seungcheol’s.

For the first time, the image of them together starts to click in his mind, and he doesn’t know if he should feel happy or devastated about that, considering his current predicament.

Happy doesn’t make it sound like an asshole, so maybe he should stick to that for now.

And he really likes her. He does. She’s _so_ nice.

It’s just that he’s feeling like shit right now and nothing can lift his spirits.

“What I meant was,” She amends, getting ready to leave this time, bowing at him quickly. “I’m really glad he’s got you.” Min-Young adds, smiling and Jeonghan smiles back too, although his heart drops at the last words and he can only pray she won't notice the shift on his expression.

She’s too nice.

So nice that he can only hope he won’t fall for Seungcheol.

As soon as she turns and walks away, Jeonghan’s smile fades, wishing he didn’t feel so bitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame this chapter on the "say yes to the dress" marathon on h&h the other day.  
> Thank you for your comments!


	8. The cake

Min’s delighted with the dress.

At least that’s what he manages to understand from her call, since she was getting into her car and then arriving back to work, he barely heard anything about the process.

He only knows they picked up a dress and that everything went well.

Truth is, he had been anxiously waiting for updates on their meeting and the dress (that’s why he decided to call Jihoon to pass the time), since he was worried that they might not get along or something. They’re both nice, in their own ways, so he guesses now that there was no reason to think that things wouldn’t go smoothly.

Still, he wants to hear it from both of them, because he cares very deeply about their opinions.

He really wanted to be there when they picked up the dress, so when his phone starts vibrating on his table and he sees Jeonghan calling (right after Min), he can’t help the smile that creeps on his lips.

Maybe he’ll show him the dress, he’s so curious.

“Hi, Jeonghan!” He says, _way_ too excited and Jeonghan apparently notices, because he lets out a small surprised laugh. He sounds delighted and it makes Seungcheol giddy too, for no reason at all.

It’s amazing how Jeonghan can cheer him up by just calling him.

He keeps laughing though and it makes him feel embarrassed, _sure_ one thing is to show his excitement but it’s an entirely different story if he drops his cool demeanor (and he thinks he’s been very good at keeping it).

“Glad to hear you too,” Jeonghan replies, sounding far too amused at Seungcheol’s expense.  “I’ve got news.”

Seungcheol decides to sit down at that, leaning on his desk to write down if he needs to.

“Is it about the dress? Can I see?”

There’s another small laugh at the other side and Seungcheol pouts, wondering if there’s any reason at all that causes Jeonghan to mock him about almost everything today.

“Of course not. You _can’t_ see the dress until the wedding day.”

“ _What_? What do you mean you can’t show me the dress?” He asks, he was expecting Min to hide it from him, since maybe she’d want to surprise him, but Jeonghan has no reason to.

“It’s a secret.” He says, in a hushed tone and it makes him stop whining for a moment and smile.

But he’s known for whining about everything, so he guesses he has a reputation to maintain.

“So _everyone_ knows but me?”

“Why do you want to know now anyway? You’ll figure it out in two months.” Jeonghan tuts. “And who’s everyone, hm? Min-Young and I? The staff from the store?”

Apparently this strategy isn’t working, but it’s not that he wants to see the dress so badly, as much as he’s whining because two of the people he likes won’t succumb to his whims. Although he has to admit that he’s glad he can tease Jeonghan and to be teased back, he hadn’t noticed until now but he can’t deny that their relationship is slowly evolving into a friendship (at least from the way he sees it) and he misses him.

Not only that, he wishes he could see him _right now_.

“It’s so long.” He ends with a whisper, not sure if he’s referring to seeing the dress or something else.

Seungcheol never knows when it comes to Jeonghan, half of the words that leave his mouth become a blabbering mess as soon as he tries to say something smart. 

“I have something that will cheer you up.” Jeonghan says, and Seungcheol can almost hear his smile.

His heart starts beating faster and he decides to take his pen, just to do something with his jittering hands. He’s glad his phone is being pressed against his shoulder, because he’d probably drop it otherwise.

Has he said it already?

If not he’ll say it now, damn Yoon Jeonghan.

“By any chance… do you like cake?”

*******

_Everyone loves cake,_ that’s what he had replied. And it’s the truth.

Jeonghan had mentioned him everything but the cake and he had completely forgotten about it until now. Still, that day they scheduled for today, and Seungcheol can’t help but notice that he hasn’t seen Jeonghan in two weeks and four days (not that he’s keeping count, that’d be creepy and inappropriate).

He’s glad that his parents gave him the day off, because he got up late for the first time in a while and he’s feeling well rested and in an excellent mood, he managed to take time to shower, dress and head to the subway with enough time to spare.

And he has another reason to be happy because Min told him she’d be here, picking with them, and she’ll only be a little late.

He’s humming when he leaves the station, wondering if he chose the right exit. Jeonghan had sent him an email with the address of the bakery they’re visiting today and Seungcheol can’t say he has heard of it, it takes him about eight minutes to find the right one, and he only recognizes it because Jeonghan is standing outside, tipping down on his phone.

His heart skips a beat.

Jeonghan has a slim waist, nice proportions, and he looks like he knows it, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to pull off the high waisted pants and a simple button up look. Seungcheol is a bit jealous about how long his legs look and how even though they’re almost the same height, Jeonghan looks taller, he spent like an hour trying to decide what to wear, but he still feels underdressed besides Jeonghan.

Maybe it’s the fact he hasn’t seen him in two weeks, but he has such the urge to _hug_ him as he walks towards him, as if he were an old friend. That’d be weird though, so he approaches to him stiffly, trying a smile instead.

“Hello,” He says, trying to sound casual, as he hadn’t been staring at him and analyzing his bone structure.

Jeonghan turns to him, smiling as he pockets his phone.

“Long time no see, Seungcheol.”

_Oh, so you noticed it to? I didn’t, that’d be so uncool._

Seungcheol only nods, like an idiot, and Jeonghan looks around questiongly, as if he were expecting something.

Right.

“I told you I’d come with Min, and she will be here... only a little late, if that’s okay?” Seungcheol asks with an apologetic smile, Jeonghan doesn’t manage to reply and just as if on cue, his phone starts vibrating on his pocket, he frowns at it, it’s way too early for Min to be asking him how to get here.

He mumbles a sorry to Jeonghan and turns around, it’s not a call, it’s two messages one right after another one.

_I really really really wanted to be there, Cheol :(, but something came up here, an important meeting, I’ll explain it to you later. I’m so sorry. Tell Jeonghan I’m sorry too._

_I’ll make it up to you, I promise <3\. _

Seungcheol must have gone quiet enough time for Jeonghan to place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he almost pulls back from the pure shock.

“Is everything okay?” He asks softly, brows furrowing and he looks like has an idea already, but if he does, he doesn’t say anything. Seungcheol is glad, because he’s not feeling very well now.

“No… I mean, _yes._ It’s nothing serious.” He mumbles, pocketing his phone, because he has no idea what to reply to that now. “It’s just Min, she can’t come after all. And... It’s a shame I really wanted her to be here.”

When he says the last words Jeonghan sighs, squeezing his shoulder lightly and pulling back.

“I won’t be able to schedule another catering in a month from now.” He says calmly. He could be exasperated or mad, he’d have any right to be, but he isn’t. And somehow, Jeonghan’s serenity pulls him back to earth, making him breathe again. “We can delay a few aspects of the wedding, but I don’t think we can keep delaying the cake.”

Seungcheol just stares at him, he’s not exactly implying to pick without Min-Young here, but at the same time he _is._ He sounds reasonable as he says it, and if there’s anything Seungcheol needs right now, it’s that.

“Um…” Seungcheol pulls out his phone again, pondering whether or not to call Min-Young and tell her they need to do this now, or ask her if she’ll be upset if he chooses all by himself. What if she’s on the meeting already?

What if she didn’t want to come and didn’t know how to tell him about it? What if—

“She told you the flavors, didn’t she?” Jeonghan asks gently, when Seungcheol doesn’t reply and he’s so relieved to be pulled off from that train of thoughts. “And you can send her photos of the decorations. If we choose the flavors and the basic design today, she can pick the rest.”

Seungcheol considers that option, it wouldn’t be so terrible, would it?

That sounds okay, and Min must know he has no other choice than to pick today. She won’t get mad.

At the end, Seungcheol nods slowly and they finally enter the bakery.

As they do, Jeonghan squeezes his arm again, gently, intently.

And if he gets flustered by that, then no one will ever know.

***

“What are we supposed to do with all this cake?”

Right. Jeonghan had told the bakery staff that they’d be three for the catering (and they always prepare a bit more, just in case), so now they find themselves with a table full of different types of cake, of all colors and flavors and enough quantity to fill four people, he’s sure.

Jeonghan doesn’t know about Seungcheol, but he barely eats anything with that much sugar in it and it seems like half of this will go to waste.

He had no way of knowing that Min-Young would end up cancelling though, so it’s not like he could have helped it.

“Well…” He starts, taking a seat in the private room they gave them, staring at all the plates. “You can start by trying them out, I guess.”

Seungcheol looks at him, horrified, there’s what, twenty? Thirty plates? And Jeonghan shrugs, deciding to start himself, they don’t have the whole afternoon after all. He picks up a random plate, something white with a strawberry on top, and a fork and he starts eating. As soon as the tastes the icing, he lets out a small moan. God, he had forgotten how much of a sweet tooth he had.

“That looks good,” Seungcheol comments, finding the same cake to try. “ _U_ _gh,_ I hate coconut.” He  whines, grimacing when he eats a spoonful. The white icing gets stuck on his bottom lip, but he keeps pouting so Jeonghan doubts he noticed it.

He really is a child, but he’d rather have him pouting than that sad expression he had outside when Min-Young told him he couldn’t be here.

And Jeonghan isn’t sure what drives him to it, but at one moment he’s watching through his eyelashes and at the next he places his finger on the whipped cream of the cake in his plate and in the next, he’s smearing some on Seungcheol right cheekbone.

A moment passes and Jeonghan’s turned red, blinking at Seungcheol, who hasn’t even reacted.

And that’s _scary._

“You didn’t.”

“I think i just did.” Jeonghan says, his voice strained. Seungcheol turns around slowly, looking _dangerous_ and he’s thrilled.

“You brought this on yourself.” He warns and before Jeonghan can actually think what that implies, he gets a whole slice of cake thrown at his face, he barely even manages to close his eyes (but not his mouth) to avoid the lemon filling to go straight into his nostrils and open mouth.

And he can hear Seungcheol snickering in the background.

Jeonghan would like to think himself as a responsible adult who behaves properly, acts cool and worries about his expensive clothes getting stained forever with whipped cream, but the  thing is, if there’s something he can’t bear to do is _lose._

So he blindly searches for a plate and aims right into Seungcheol’s shit eating grin, with more force than he probably should.

It’s on.

***

Jeonghan loses track of time, but he’s sure it must have been five or ten minutes, and as it is, there’s a whole room filled with cake on the walls, the floor, their clothes, the chair— the entirety of it. He should have stopped it before,but he hadn’t laughed like this in _years,_ and he wanted to keep it a little longer, even if the result it’s a private room full of cake.

They won’t be calling him again, will they?

He’s currently hiding behind the table, trying to dodge the pieces of cake that Seungcheol keeps throwing at him, when he decides to be the adult here.

“Okay, okay, that’s it. I’m declaring,” He raises both hands, giggles still stumbling from his lips. “A ceasefire.”

When he sits up to look around properly, he notices Seungcheol is just around the table smiling cheekily as he holds up a plate of cake in his right hand, they’re so much closer than Jeonghan thought they were. But he stays there, holding his hands up, and if he were to move a few inches, he could link their fingers together. He just can’t help but laugh nervously, because there’s a bunch of red velvet on Seungcheol’s hair, making him look so silly. And his lips are plum and red and…

So Jeonghan leans in, placing his hand on the floor over the pinky icing of some of the cakes to support his weight, and it’s gross, but he doesn’t care. How could he? When Seungcheol’s face is only a few inches apart and his fingers are itching to hover over his drawn out bottom lip and kiss away the frosting.

He really does look cute while pouting (only because he told him to stop playing), Jeonghan will never admit it out loud though.

He catches the way Seungcheol tilts his head in confusion, and looks down at Jeonghan’s lips for a lingering moment, Jeonghan’s cheeks are burning and his breath hitches because for a second it looks like he’s leaning in as well.

God, he wants him so badly.

And a phone starts vibrating, somewhere in the room.

They stare at each other for a long moment, frozen to the spot, and then Seungcheol seems to notice it’s actually _his_ phone and Jeonghan looks down self consciously, deciding to get up and try to get some of the cake off of his clothes.

The moment’s passed.

And there’s no better reminder than the one of Seungcheol talking animatedly with his fiancée on the phone. If she hadn’t called, what would have happened? He thought he saw _something_ on Seungcheol’s eyes too, but now he doesn’t know and he feels his stomach twist uncomfortably, wishing the feeling would go away.

What was he thinking? That they’d be kissing?

Seungcheol’s _straight_. And getting married.

Keep dreaming, Jeonghan.

***

“I bet they’ll never return any of my calls.” Jeonghan says, sighing, and they’ve been walking for one or two blocks, but people keep staring at them.

It’s not everyday you see two grown men walk around, covered in cake from head to toe.

“Sorry.” Seungcheol says sheepishly, offering him a tissue he pulled out from somewhere. Jeonghan uses it to clean his glasses, he should take a taxi, he doesn’t want to get stains on his car. “It was my fault, I attacked you first.”

Jeonghan sighs dramatically, trying to get rid of the bitter feeling after that… almost kiss.

“I won though.”

“As if.” Seungcheol snorts, rolling his eyes with a playful smile and Jeonghan feels his the need to punch something, because that expression is _so_ unnecessarily cute.

“You should let me win, I’ve worked with that bakery for _years,”_ Months, but Seungcheol doesn’t have to know. “Now I can’t even enter, you saw the manager, he was about to call the police.”

Seungcheol starts laughing and Jeonghan slaps him on the chest, hard.

“I’m _serious._ ”

“Okay, sorry. Sorry, I really do. Now we should probably go our separate ways, people are starting to comment on us, it’s like we’re wearing matching crazy boyfriends’ clothes.”

And Jeonghan’s heart drops. Was it too obvious? Maybe Seungcheol noticed he liked him and he’ll want to fire him, maybe the joke is only to gauge his reaction—

He can actually feel himself paling after that comment.

Luckily, he’s already getting to his car, so he smiles awkwardly at a clueless Seungcheol.

“Guess so, you won. That’s fine,” He says hurriedly. “We’ll talk about the cake later, I have to take a shower.”

Seungcheol looks like a puppy, standing there, right outside his car, clothes and hair sticky with cake. He could offer him a ride, but the words won’t leave his mouth.

“Oh… I, okay.” He whispers, nodding and leaning down to reach Jeonghan’s car window. “I… sorry about today, but I had fun.”

Jeonghan too, the most fun he’s had in his life.

“I missed… seeing you more often,” Seungcheol adds, smiling, so bright and genuine that it makes Jeonghan’s heart ache.

Jeonghan sits there, hands on the wheel, cheeks tinged with pink and when he bites his bottom lip, he tastes chocolate. He decides not to turn to Seungcheol, because if he does, he doesn't know what he'll do.

“Right… I… see you around.”

And he drives away, trying to ignore the rapid beating of his heart.

***

“You sound whipped.”

“ _Shua_.”

“Okay. Sorry.” Jisoo says distractedly, looking through his phone to order some food. Possibly chicken. That’s tuesday’s menu anyway. “You sound _in love,_  is that better?”

Jeonghan covers his face with a pillow and groans, he shouldn’t have said anything. And he didn’t even tell him about the cake and all the sexual tension, because he’ll die before giving Jisoo so much ammunition.

He’d never hear the end of it.

Jisoo just rolls his eyes and decides to ignore him, he knows Jeonghan’s being melodramatic and when he’s at _this_ stage, it’s best to leave him be. Then he’ll get angsty and _that’s_ when Jisoo will intervene to comfort and listen.

Now he’s as eloquent as a teenager with a crush on his teacher.

“I know what you’re thinking, you’re so mean, Shua-ah.” Jeonghan says, or at least that’s what he thinks he says, because he’s talking through a mouthful of his favorite pillow.

Jisoo should know by now, because when he came home, Jeonghan was on the couch again, hair damp from the shower and wearing his favorite pajamas even though it’s only four in the afternoon, he didn't ask. He’s also in his sulking position (the same position he was on the day of the invitations).

It’s strange how this happens, more often than not.

And if the livingroom was a mess of photographs and papers scattered around before, then now he can’t even walk on it without stepping on something.

Which will be a problem later on, because there’s still two months or so for the wedding and he can’t live in this mess until then. As he turns to Jeonghan though, he notices he’s still sulking but there’s something more… worrying, he’s gone quiet and he looks _sad._

Maybe he should take this Seungcheol… _deal_ , more seriously.

“Do you want chicken too?”

“Of _course_ I want chicken, I’m going through a _heartbreak.”_

Jisoo only rolls his eyes fondly.

Or maybe not, he’ll be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Let's all stream for Seventeen new comeback <3 they've worked hard and deserve all the love!!  
> (Also, next chapter is: The photographer, I don't know if anyone comes to mind with that?)


	9. The photographer

They’ve got fifty days to the wedding.

 _Fifty_ , he repeats to himself in utter shock.

Jeonghan marks a big X on the days he was supposed to rest or hang with Jisoo, because there’s no way he’ll manage to do this if he takes time off.

He doesn’t have the food. He’s not ready with the themes, he’ll only have the venue two days before to set up everything. He hasn’t booked all the rooms for the guests to stay.

He’s got no idea about the flowers and the first fitting for Min-Young’s dress will be only two weeks from the wedding, what if it doesn’t fit? They don’t have Seungcheol’s suit.

Jeonghan places a hand on his hip, an uncapped marker on his hold (threatening to make an indelible stain on their wall).

Unless he decides the rest of the wedding all by himself within this week, or he ends up inviting Seungcheol over to literally live with him until the wedding day, there’s no way he’ll manage to finish.

He lets out an exasperated sigh, looking at the calendar, checking again and again, maybe he miscounted.

(He didn’t, never does, he’s pretty good at math).

Besides he had been avoiding Seungcheol, because if he wasn’t sure before, he actually feels his heart aching at the thought of him, he doesn’t want to see him right now.

This infatuation is turning even more serious every time he sees him, and he’s got no energy to think this through.

In fifty days, Seungcheol will be a married man, a happy man.

And Jeonghan will stay the same. Planning another wedding, (hopefully) forgetting about him.

It should be easy.

Then _why_ is it so damn hard?

At the end, he throws the marker to the floor (Jisoo will skin him for that later) and he unceremoniously drops on his couch, feeling too exhausted to be standing. Papers crumble on his back at the sudden weight and movement, but he doesn’t even check.

He can only hope it’s not the contract with _The Plaza,_  but he’s too tired to care right now.

He only manages to close his eyes and bask in his misery for a few minutes, until his phone chirps with a message. Then another one, then _another one._

Can’t they let him rest for five seconds?

He groans, blindly patting the table and finding his phone.

_Bro ~ Long time no see._

_I’d be delighted._

_Let’s have dinner._

He stares at the screen for a long moment, wondering _what the hell,_ until he remembers he texted his friend Minghao a week ago, asking him if he could do him a favor and photograph the wedding.

He’s not exactly a wedding photographer (not at all, in fact), but he takes great pictures, and Jeonghan needs someone he knows won’t fuck up, because he already has too much to worry about in the wedding day.

It’s surprising he said yes, and even more that he keeps calling him _bro_ after all these years. It’s embarrassing, he thought it was only a phase, but apparently it isn’t.

He quickly sends back a _thank you_ and _I’ll take care of it,_ and he knows what this means too.

Calling Seungcheol.

Truth is, he could email him, or something else, but he needs this to be ready as soon as possible. He takes one deep breath and stares at his screen for a long second, his eyes are hurting when he blinks, so he definitely needs some sleep.

He’ll have a nap as soon as he calls Seungcheol, it’ll be a little reward for all his hard work last night.

When he presses the phone against his ear and dials, his heart immediately starts to beat faster and he covers his eyes with his free hand.

_Come on, just a quick call. Easy._

“Jeonghan, hey! How have you been?” He can hear from the other side and he can’t help but smile. What is he? A child?

No adult replies to a call like that.

“Hello, actually I just had some news,” he replies quickly and he can hear a little disappointed _oh_ , and it shouldn’t have, but it makes his heart ache anyway. “It’s good news,” he adds, rushing make it better, cheer him up.

“I see, what is it?” He can hear Seungcheol clearing his throat, his voice rough. He hadn’t noticed at first, since he sounded too excited.

Maybe it’s nothing, so he pushes it aside quickly.

“I’ve got a photographer, he’s a friend of mine. He doesn’t really takes photos at weddings.” He explains, playing with another marker he found on the couch. He should really pick up the one he threw, Jisoo will be mad. “But he agreed this time.”

There’s silence for a moment and Jeonghan frowns, wondering if the line went dead.

“That’s… great. Really. Thank you.” Comes Seungcheol’s voice, sounding definitely off this time.

He thought he’d be uncomfortable during this call, considering they haven’t seen each other since the incident with the cake, but Seungcheol sounds weird, awkward in a way he hasn’t heard him before.

What if he had a problem at work? What if he was crying? What if he’s busy? What if—

“Seungcheol, is everything okay?” He asks, despite himself. “You sound kind of…” he starts, unsure of what to imply.

“Yeah?” He can hear him clear his throat again and he chews on his bottom lip, trying not to worry. “Yeah, I’m fine, everything’s fine.”

It doesn’t sound convincing at all, but okay.

“Right… um, I was thinking maybe we could all have dinner, to get to know each other. Minghao would like that.” He offers, his tone softer. This time, the answer comes quick, and Jeonghan thinks that maybe Seungcheol is busy. “Tomorrow okay? I’ll book for four so you can invite Min-Young.”

There’s silence again and Jeonghan’s stomach starts twisting in knots, getting too anxious for just a dinner.

“That’s great, text me the details, we’ll be there.”

He doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t have a great feeling about the dinner.

(But since they’re late with everything, he texts Minghao _Everything’s set, see you tomorrow for dinner_ anyway).  

***

Usually he never gets sick.

Not when he’s overworked, not when it’s winter and everyone around him has gotten a cold, not when he’s lacking sleep and his defenses should be low.

Nope, not even then.

So he doesn’t know exactly what got into him, but he woke up with a fever on Tuesday. He shrugged it off, because he needed to go to work anyway, there’s too much to do and he has to check a few balances and write reports and sign contracts.

He gets to the office, wearing a bigger coat than usual, and a scarf, even though it’s sunny and warm outside.

People give him weird looks, but he’s currently too worried not to pass out, wishing to be back into his bed, covered with at least five blankets.

He makes it the whole day until Jeonghan calls, offering dinner with his friend, and he knows he should say no.

He’s sick. He’s feverish. He’s exhausted.

So he says yes, because he misses Jeonghan, because he’s an idiot and because _maybe_ he’ll feel better tomorrow.

When morning comes, he does not feel better at all.

In fact, he thinks about cancelling everything and stay in bed, but he’s been avoiding to go to work and he’s behind on too many of his duties, and he already said yes to Jeonghan.

He drags himself out of bed, takes a shower and gets dressed, heading to the office. There are dark circles under his eyes, because he didn’t manage to sleep, not only he had nightmares, but also shivers running down his spine and his feet were ice cold during the whole night.

He tries to say to himself that work is work and even though he’s exhausted it’s still his responsibility, and at night, he’ll have a nice dinner and everything will be better.

Seungcheol’s cheeks are burning and his throat is aching as he installs himself in his desk, closing the door. He doesn’t take off his coat, and idly thinks he forgot breakfast.

Maybe he’ll skip it, and eat at lunch.

He pulls out a pile of reports from one of the drawers and starts reading, words not registering at all. But the office is warm and for the first time he feels sleep catching up on him, and he yawns, blinking quickly to stay awake.

Seungcheol slowly places both of his arms on his desk, leaning down and then cradling his head.

He decides it’s healthy closing his eyes for a second. Or a few.

He’ll feel better when he does.

Jeonghan told him dinner would be at nine, and he’ll stay in the office until eight, he needs the reports by five, and he’ll have to pick Min and…

There’s a lot to do today, so he’ll be only resting his eyelids for a second.

***

“Seungcheol, _Seungcheol.”_

Light hurts his eyes as he tries to open them, slowly realizing he must have fallen asleep. He feels a hand on his shoulder, a gentle, soft touch. He doesn’t know how he knows right away to whom it belongs to.

Jeonghan.

He must have thought he was dreaming. Maybe Jeonghan is an angel.

“Seungcheol, are you okay?”

He hears again, mind working overtime to remember what the hell is going on. His muscles are stiff and aching as he tries to move from his position, and he looks down only to notice he fell asleep on his desk, all over the reports he needed to send to his boss (his dad).

Great.

His head is pounding and idly he decides to clean the drool on his chin, fighting to stay awake. He remembers going to the office this morning, then getting here, and… he fell asleep?

What time is it?

God, if it’s past five…

“Answer me, will you?” Jeonghan’s hand moves from his shoulder to his cheek and his expression shifts immediately. He seemed almost mad before and now… is that, worry? “You’re burning up.” He whispers, almost to himself.

Through his haze he finally focus on Jeonghan, his hair looks disheveled for the first time, as he had been running and he looks less put together than usual, Seungcheol wants to ask why, but he feels like leaning back down on the desk and sleep some more.

“Oh,” Seungcheol says, voice low and rough. “Jeonghan, I’m sorry, we were supposed to…” he trails off, catching the hour on the clock on the wall. It’s six pm. He slept the whole morning and part of the afternoon. He’d get fired if it weren’t for his parents running the company, he’s sure. “Dinner, right.” He says, nodding to himself.

“We can go.” He adds intently, sitting up and trying to stretch, but his muscles scream in protest at the movement.

“Are you out of your mind?” Jeonghan asks, sighing, but he sounds gentle in contrast of his harsh words. He pulls him down, and it manages to keep him in position, Seungcheol wonders if he’s too weak right now or Jeonghan is stronger than he looks. “You should be resting, you have a fever.”

“But you already said yes to the dinner,” He whines, trying to get up, luckily, this time Jeonghan lets him. His feets sway as he tries to stop the room from spinning, but Jeonghan catches his arm, hold tight and strong.

“We’re going home.” Jeonghan orders.

And well, it’s really hard to say no to that.

***

Jeonghan knew something was wrong.

He doesn’t know how, but when he texted the details to Seungcheol and got no response, he knew there was something to worry about, he always replies right away.

“How’d you know where I worked?” Seungcheol mumbles, the straw from the box of juice he bought him between his lips as he speaks.

He really is a child.

A child that had no breakfast, fell asleep at work, and currently has a fever.

“You gave me your work address the day we met. Don’t you remember?” Jeonghan says, and if he weren’t so worried, he’d smile. “Drink your juice, you need something in your stomach in case you want to throw up.”

“Aw, you’d let me throw up in your car?” He asks and Jeonghan resists the urge to hit him, he can’t be that sick if he can joke about it.

“Shut up.”

He remembers Seungcheol’s home address, so after buying him juice, water and a few cereal bars, he decides to take him home.

“Thank you for the juice,” he hears him mumble. “For treating me.”

Jeonghan feels his cheeks heating up at that, but his eyes stay on the road, hoping Seungcheol won’t notice.

“Technically I’m not treating, since I’m paying with the money you’re paying me.”  

Seungcheol looks down at his box of juice, suddenly serious.

“You don’t have to keep up the act, I know you’re good on the inside, even if you try to say you’re not.” He says, grinning and Jeonghan’s cheeks are even redder now, he’s sure.

Damn it.

“You’re delirious.” Jeonghan says, instead of replying.

He stays in silence the rest of the way home, deciding to let him doze off. And it’s almost seven when he finally pulls over, when he turns to look at him, he notices Seungcheol’s eyes are closed, warm breath fanning on his car window.

“Seungcheol,” he whispers gently.

Seungcheol sighs, resting his forehead against the cooling window, looking kind of adorable with his red cheeks and all buckled up in his seatbelt.

Jeonghan knew it already, but he’s _so_ doomed.

He raises his hand, and retreats it right away, chewing on his lip. He was about to pat his cheek, but he can’t bring himself to do it.

“Seungcheol,” he insists, louder. “Come on, you need rest.”

Slowly Seungcheol opens his eyes, blinking and looking adorably confused before straightening up.

“Right, sorry,” he yawns, covering his mouth with the back of his mouth. Jeonghan wants nothing more than to let him sleep in here, maybe caress his hair until he settles back down, mumbling reassuring words to lull him back to sleep.

So doomed.

***

Seungcheol’s apartment is tidy, which is surprising.

Still, he doesn’t manage to catch so much from it, because he helps Seungcheol take his shoes off and then he literally throws him to his bed, luckily Seungcheol has enough energy to take off his coat, because Jeonghan wouldn’t have known what to do if he had to help with that.

“Alright, I’m leaving.” He says, hands on his hips, as if his work here were done. “Need anything else?”

Seungcheol doesn’t even take off the rest of his clothes, just rests his head against the pillow, cradling it.

“‘M fine,” he mumbles, closing his eyes and it pulls at Jeonghan’s heart, wondering if he should stay and make him some tea, at least.

He’s about to offer to go to the nearest convenience store and buy him something to eat, when Seungcheol’s voice interrupts him.

“Thank you.”

And it’s a small whisper, he barely opened his mouth, but Jeonghan could still hear it and it made his heart skip a beat.

_No need to thank me._

He stares at him for a long minute, until he’s sure he’s fallen asleep, and he decides to go and buy him so food, just in case he gets up during the night and has nothing to eat. Jeonghan leaves the apartment as quietly as he can, and he manages to send a text to Minghao, letting him know he’s cancelling the dinner.

Jeonghan’s got no idea where’s he at, so he walks around aimlessly until he manages to find a 7-eleven and enters, buying tea, an energy drink, instant ramyeon. He knows it’s not exactly the best food, but at least it’s something and he’s sure Seungcheol will appreciate it anyway.

Just as he’s heading back to Seungcheol’s apartment, he spots a small restaurant and decides to buy some congee to go, hoping he’s not stepping over the line by doing this.

It’s almost half an hour until he comes back to the apartment, and when he does, he remembers he should have asked Seungcheol for a key, because now he’ll have to wake him up and he needs the sleep.

He chews on his bottom lip, deciding to ring the buzzer anyway, because Seungcheol needs to eat something and then sleep, but when the door is finally open, he isn’t greeted by the sight of Seungcheol on his rumpled clothes, instead it’s Min-Young, bag still on his shoulder, as she had just arrived.

Jeonghan’s too stunned to speak.

“Oh, Jeonghan.” Min-Young says, smiling at him.

Jeonghan’s smile falters a little, hiding the shopping bag behind himself, feeling self-conscious.

He never thought Min-Young of all people would open the door. He thought that maybe she was working.

“Seungcheol’s sick right now. I wanted to surprise him at the office, but when I called they told he went home.” She says, her fingers playing with the doorknob as she talks. Jeonghan can’t help but stand there, looking like an idiot. Which is something he really isn’t used to.

Of course. It makes sense, the only day Min-Young decides to leave early from work and now she’s here to take care of him and…

He’s being an idiot.

He also notices he hasn’t said a word for like a minute and it’s weird.

They might act like friends but in fact they _aren’t._ He’s technically just providing a service to Seungcheol.

Nothing more.

He has no right to be here.

“Oh, yeah. He seemed a little off yesterday.” He says instead, trying a smile, and he really tries, because he wishes he didn’t feel like crying. It doesn’t look convincing even to him, but Min-Young keeps smiling at him and he doesn’t know what to say, or what to do.

The shopping bag feels unnaturally heavy on his right hand.

“Did you need anything?” She prompts gently and Jeonghan’s head snaps up. “Sorry, I’d let you in, but I don’t want to wake him.”

“Uh, no.” He says quickly. “I was just... nearby.“

Does anyone believe that anymore or does it just sounds lame to his ears?

“Do you want to leave him a message?” She asks instead, looking slightly uncomfortable and Jeonghan feels a pang of guilt to force her to stand there and not telling her anything.

He bought some food, so what?

He should just tell her the truth. It’s not like it was something bad, or something a friend wouldn’t have done, but… he can’t bring himself to do anything more than standing there and wanting to leave, but his legs and his mouth refuse to aid him along.

“No, no, it’s really fine.” He says at the end. “I was just leaving. Don’t worry.”

“Oh… right, guess we’ll have to postpone dinner. Cheol told me about the photographer, thank you, Jeonghan.” She smiles. “That was so nice of you.”

Jeonghan tries a smile again, and squeezes the bag, nodding quickly and bowing goodbye.

He tries really hard not to cry.

***

When Jisoo arrives that night, the lights are off in the livingroom, but he can see Jeonghan’s silhouette on the couch, playing on his phone.

“You’ll hurt your eyes,” He says idly, turning on the lights and Jeonghan doesn’t turn.

Weird.

He’s usually more responsive to his mothering.

“What’s this?” Jisoo asks, ruffling through the contents of a shopping bag that’s in the middle of the table. He doesn’t remember needing groceries just yet.

And just then Jeonghan seems to remember something, as his head snaps up and he’s out of the couch in a second, hands on Joshua’s to stop him from looking inside.

“Why did you buy congee? You hate it.”

Too late.

Jeonghan groans, he _already_ feels like shit, he doesn’t want Jisoo commenting on it. But _of course_ he’ll do it, because he is a good friend and he’s actually worried about him.

He doesn’t reply, just holds Jisoo’s wrists in a weak attempt for him not to look any further.

“Is this about Seungcheol?” He asks after a few seconds, sighing softly and sometimes Jeonghan forgets how perceptive he can be.

He hates that he’s right.

Jeonghan groans again, more dramatically this time and slumps on the chair, crossing his arms and letting his head rest on the table.

“I fucking hate this.” He mumbles instead, and it should some childish, or mocking, but he feels so vulnerable. 

Every time he thinks that maybe Seungcheol likes him too, _something_ happens or _people_ interrupts them or the universe decides to play with his feelings.

Would it have made a difference though?

Seungcheol’s still marrying in forty nine days.

And Jeonghan can only pray for them to go by faster.


	10. The flowers

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

There’s a faint noise of footsteps padding around the entrance and his eyes fight to get used to the sudden light coming from the livingroom, blinking drowsily.

His room it’s pitch black and he’s still wearing his work clothes, he notices.

Seungcheol doesn’t even try to get up, his body stiff and aching as he shifts, covering his head with his pillow.

Suddenly he feels _someone_ tugging at his blanket, urging him to get up, so he covers even more, groaning.

He doesn’t know if it’s Min or Jihoon, the only two people with keys of his apartment, but _why would they do that to him_.

“Cheol,” He hears that someone call and it’s _definitely_ not Min nor Jihoonie.

Slowly he peels away the blanket and he’s met with no other than Yoon Jeonghan.

He gulps.

Jeonghan smiles, it’s dark and blurry, but it’s still a smile. And he feels his heart pounding in his chest, and suddenly Jeonghan is moving towards him, climbing on his bed and pulling the blankets off Seungcheol’s body.

His breath picks up speed.

Seungcheol’s eyes follow his movements, and in a second or two, the other is raising a hand and placing it on his forehead, caring and gentle. He leans back down instead of sitting on the bed, his body tilting in all the submissive angles against Jeonghan hovering over him.

“We’re all alone now.”

Seungcheol doesn’t reply, not even when Jeonghan crawls on top of his thighs and grabs at his waistband of his pants as if for leverage, leaning down to pepper kisses on the exposed skin of his belly. Jeonghan’s lips are _cold_ and in contrast, his skin is burning.

Damn.

He throws his head back at the sudden rush of pleasure, biting his lip not to make a sound. When he dares to look up through his eyelashes though, he sees him looking up at him, with so much adoration in his eyes that it makes Seungcheol’s heart clench pleasantly, his eyes burning with a sudden rush to cry because—

“Let me take care of you.” Jeonghan whispers, licking at his lips as his fingers hover on the waistband of his pants.

Come on, _please._

And he goes down.

Seungcheol jerks awake, adrenaline coursing through him, even though he’s not entirely sure why. He immediately sits up, heart beating overtime and breath heaving on his chest.

What the _hell_ was that?

Slowly he takes a look at his surroundings, it’s his room and it’s dark out. He vaguely remembers Jeonghan buying him tea and dropping him off, after he fell asleep at the office. But… Min’s at his side, fast asleep, totally unbothered by the sudden jolt and Seungcheol can’t stop his hands from shaking.

He’d never… he doesn’t—

It was just a dream, right?

He rubs at his eyes tiredly, trying to clear out his thoughts. Jeonghan’s not here.

Jeonghan is most definitely _not_ here.

Seungcheol takes a deep shaky breath, running a hand through his sweaty hair. Not only he feels hot all over because of the fever, now he’s got _something_ else to worry about.

He shifts uncomfortably, trying to squeeze his thighs and not to make a sound. He’s not even wearing pajama pants, he went to bed with his work clothes and he didn’t even take off the belt. Seungcheol always cradles his pillow as he sleeps so he tries to cover his face with it, trying to breathe through it, he _did not_ have a dream involving _sex_ and _Jeonghan._

Nope. Not at all.

There’s silence, as it should be, considering it’s probably three in the morning or something, and his hips keep grinding slowly on the empty space, begging for friction.

Maybe if he thinks about something else, like something horrible or—

 _We’re going home_ , Jeonghan had said, the real one, he wasn’t dreaming that part. _Need anything else?_

His cock stirs in his pants, and the pressure is borderline painful.

 _Yes_.

Seungcheol pulls the blankets away and gets up, as hurriedly as he can.

He needs a shower.

Urgently.

*******

He doesn’t feel good.

Not only physically, _mentally_ he’s beyond exhausted.

It was in fact three am in the morning when he got up.

He took the shower to cool down, _tried_ not to think about Jeonghan, _failed_ at that, and when he was nearing the end of it, conscious blurry and an overwhelming need to come, Jeonghan was the only person he could think about.

He doesn’t want to admit it was actually a pretty satisfying orgasm (as much as it can get from a fantasy and without anyone’s help).

If he does, he’d have to admit that in some level he’s (sexually) attracted to Yoon Jeonghan.

His wedding planner.

And he won’t admit that.

Because it was _just_ a dream, a simple induced-fever dream, and it happens all the time, it probably means nothing at all.

Seungcheol groans, forehead resting against the kitchen counter, his hair is still damp from the shower and he’s finally wearing pajamas.

He should go back to bed, he knows he should, he’s only getting sicker in here.

The thing is… he knows he wouldn’t label himself as straight, not at all, he had a few make-out while drunk in college with men, and he doesn’t regret them, but… it feels wrong to have a dream about someone else while being engaged to your girlfriend, and even more awful is to wake up from said dream with her sleeping by his side.

He knows it’s not, but it still feels like cheating, that’s why he refused to think about Jeonghan, even though he caused everything and he couldn’t.

He feels so guilty.

Right now, he doesn’t even want to go back to bed, because what if Min heard? He tried to muffle the sounds, but if she did he’s got no coherent explanation to why he _hid_ to masturbate and…

Seungcheol groans again, covering his face. The kitchen is pitch black and it’s almost creepy that he’s here, doing nothing at three am, but he can’t bring himself to walk back to the room.

The shower did nothing to bring down his fever, if only, it made it worse.

At the end, he decides he’ll worry Min if she wakes up and notices he fell asleep on the kitchen counter, so he slowly comes back to bed, trying hard not to think about anything at all.

Seungcheol’s really glad that Min can sleep through an earthquake because otherwise this would have been a real mess for him, he wouldn’t have known how to answer if Min decided to ask.

He covers himself completely, cheeks burning and feet ice cold, and even though he’d usually cuddle, seeking warmth, tonight he just stares at the wall until he falls asleep.

*******

“Just drop it, Mingyu.” Wonwoo says, for the ninth time that day.

But Mingyu does not drop it.

“I can’t believe you didn’t go to a meeting with Xu Minghao, _the_ Xu Minghao, he’s the best. Have you even seen his Instagram account?” Mingyu whines, not even trying to hide his pout. “Ugh, I can’t believe you missed a chance to meet him.”

“ _Hey,_ I was sick,” Seungcheol protests, pouting even more and Wonwoo only rolls his eyes at them.

It’s definitely too early for this pouting competition.

And he should also stop this before this friendly banter transforms into a heated discussion (not that he’d let them anyway, they’re still in _his_ workplace).

Maybe he should stop offering the only lunchtime he has to catch up with them, and he should wait until the weekend.

“ _Hyung,_ no offense but he’s _so_ overqualified to take photos of your wedding, I mean—”

“Are you feeling any better?” Wonwoo interrupts, because he really wants a nice calm lunch. Besides Seungcheol is wearing a coat at least two sizes too big for him and a scarf, his cheeks and nose too red not to be worrying in this weather.

He looks kind of cute bundled up like that.

“At least someone’s asking.” Seungcheol sighs dramatically, crossing his arms against his chest and looking like a child (as he always does).

Mingyu keeps pouting, but at least he shuts up about that photographer he keeps talking about and Wonwoo takes advantage of the moment of peace to eat some rice.

“Actually _no_ ,” Seungcheol says, and it’s worrying enough that Mingyu puts down his chopsticks, full attention on the eldest. “I’ve been having some… I keep waking up at night because of the fever.” He ends in a mumble.

Wonwoo can’t help but frown a little, usually Seungcheol never gets sick, and when he does, _sure_ gets whiny and even more childlike, but now he seems… uneasy, restless in a way Wonwoo hasn’t seen him in years.

“Hyung… why didn’t you tell us? You should be resting.” Mingyu says, and he’s sure Seungcheol appreciates, he won’t admit it, but he’s secretly glad when his friends take care of him the same way he does with them.

“You should go see a doctor,” Wonwoo adds.

He can see that maybe something else is bothering Seungcheol, but he doesn’t comment on it.

Maybe he’ll tell them eventually, he did say he wanted to talk after all.

***

Lunch is done and they’re already collecting their things, Seungcheol zipping his coat, when Mingyu interrupts him.

“Hyung, wait, about Xu Minghao… ” Mingyu says, “Can your wedding planner introduce us?”

Honestly, after the other day he doesn’t even want to see Jeonghan himself, but he never misses an opportunity to tease Mingyu.

“He has a name,” Seungcheol says, feigning offense. “And no.”

“But _hyung!”_

“You’ll meet at the wedding anyways,” Wonwoo provides helpfully and only then Mingyu shifts his expression, apparently he hadn’t thought about that. “You can talk to him then, be a proper fanboy.”

And then both Mingyu and Wonwoo start bickering and he zooms out, they walk back to the hospital, and he stuffs his hands in his pockets, he doesn’t regret living the apartment for a while, even though his head is hurting and he’s shivering from the cold he feels.

He needed time out because otherwise he’d just be at home, feeling like shit.

Thinking about unnecessary things.

Like _that_ night, three nights ago.

As they make it to the main entrance and Wonwoo gets ready to go back to work, he’s glad that they managed to be a distraction and he feels a bit better, not as tired as he felt when he arrived.

“Hyung, wait, you said you wanted to meet to talk about something,” Wonwoo reminds him and Seungcheol doesn’t know if he’s that glad he remembers, because he has no idea how to talk this one through.

_I had a dream about Jeonghan._

Not only that, he… kind of _went_ with it to the end.

God, he’s blushing now only thinking about it.

Mingyu waves a hand in front of his face, frowning in confusion at Seungcheol’s silence.

“Hyung, everything okay?” He insists and Seungcheol bites his lower lip, looking down.

“Yeah,” he says, and it sounds weak even to his ears. “It doesn’t matter… I’m glad we met. I should probably go rest.”

And it must sound convincing enough that Mingyu and Wonwoo stare at each other and nod, deciding to say goodbye instead of keep pressing on the subject

“Let me know when we can go to your apartment, I’ll cook something for you,” Mingyu says, showing his toothy grin as he pulls back after hugging Seungcheol.

Wonwoo stands there and watches, not being that much of a hugger when he’s in public, but still he pulls him into a hug.

“Let us know if something’s bothering you, okay?” He says on his ear as he pats his back.

_What if I’m attracted to someone else?_

Seungcheol pulls back with a small, tired smile.

“I will.”

***

Thinking about the wedding always makes him feel a little bit better.

It’s like a project he’s working on, but it’s more interesting than work and it involves travelling and sometimes lunch and it gives him a excuse to ask for time off at work.

Planning the wedding is his favorite activity these days.

He already had a whole week free from work, because of his fever, and on Monday he has to go back to work. He should have called Jeonghan sooner, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, he kept thinking about the dream and how guilty he felt.

The wedding’s still happening though, and just the other day, after the lunch he had with Mingyu and Wonwoo he saw a flower shop.

Seungcheol’s got no idea about flowers or meanings or arrangements for weddings, but he took a photo of a particular one he liked and he thought that he should let Jeonghan know he’s got an idea.

Maybe he’ll be proud that he’s helping with this, to lessen his workload.

As soon as he calls, he feels his stomach twisting in anticipation, fingers squeezing his phone unnecessarily tight.

“Jeonghan?” Seungcheol asks, not being able to hide the gidinness on his voice as he hears him pick up.

“Yeah?” He gets as a reply, and he almost doesn’t recognize Jeonghan’s voice, because it sounds far from his smooth tone, he sounds groggy and tired.

“Oh, man, sorry.” Seungcheol says right away, catching himself. It’s nine am. “I woke you up, didn’t I? I’m such an idiot.”

There’s some rustling sound at the other end of the line and then Jeonghan is yawning (making the most endearing sound Seungcheol has heard today, but whatever).

“No, it’s fine. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Seungcheol assures him, regretting waking him up. He’s kept him up the last few weeks and Jeonghan won’t say it, but Seungcheol knows that even before they met everyday Jeonghan’s already been working, calling and planning. “It’s just that, um, I wanted to ask if we could check the flowers soon. I’ve got an idea.”

“I see,” Jeonghan says, and he can hear him typing something on his computer.

“Maybe we could go see them together, I’ve got this flower shop that I—”

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan’s stern voice interrupts his thoughts. He doesn’t sound that sleepy anymore. “I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.”

“But I—”

“I know you’re still sick, you shouldn’t go out.”

Seungcheol pouts, because it’s true, but he really wanted to help. And he’s not _that_ sick anymore.

Maybe Jeonghan doesn’t want to meet? But why?

“Send me the information and I’ll do it for you.” Jeonghan adds and Seungcheol gulps, not knowing what to say, he expected this conversation to go differently.

“Right, um… thank you.” He mumbles, not being able to hide the disappointment in his voice.

Yes, he had that crazy dream, but that doesn’t mean… Jeonghan’s like a friend to him. He wants to see him.

He misses him.

There’s silence for a moment and Seungcheol prepares himself to say goodbye and act like this didn’t hurt him.

“I’m... “ Jeonghan starts, tone plaintive. And it sounds nothing like he did a moment ago.  “I’m worried about you, get some rest. I’ll take care of it.”

Seungcheol feels his cheeks heating up and he opens his mouth to reply, but Jeonghan beats him to it.

“Bye Seungcheol.”

Then he hangs up, leaving Seungcheol full of doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> A Seungcheol centric chapter :D.  
> Honestly I wanted to say thank you for all of your comments and kudos! I never thought anyone would be interested in this silly AU, there are only seven chapterts left :(. What do you think so far? With whom do you empathize more? (I'm really curious).


	11. The theme

“Pasta.”

“No.”

“Curry.”

“No.”

“Ramyeon.”

“I—”

Jisoo groans, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at Jeonghan’s antics.

Maybe it wasn’t a brilliant idea as he had thought at first, getting Jeonghan some air. Currently they’re both walking down the street, bundled up in their light coats, just a ten minute walk away from their shared department. It’s almost eight pm, but at least it’s not crowded enough and they can talk freely, Jeonghan’s grabbing Jisoo’s elbow in a gentle grip, tugging him away from the places where he _doesn’t_ want to eat.

“That’s why we _never_ go out, you’re so indecisive.”

“If I remember correctly, you decided to drag me out of the house, saying that I _hadn’t seen the daylight in days_ and that _this was starting to be unhealthy_. No one forced you to.” Jeonghan scolds, hand on his chest, feigning more offense than he really feels.

“Those might or might have not been my words,” Jisoo says lightly, smirking. ”I should have left you back home though,” He adds in a whisper, but Jeonghan still hears and smacks him on the arm.

There are forty days to the wedding, Jisoo knows that, and usually at this stage, Jeonghan needs something to distract him, otherwise he’ll lock himself at home and stay planning until everything’s perfect (which never happens, weddings are full of accidents and crazy situations, but Jeonghan tries anyway).

He tries not to think how Jeonghan looked last week, clearly sleep deprived and with that sullen expression on his face, at least now he seems cheerful and his skin has gotten a bit more color, cheeks rosy with the afternoon chill.

It’s a nice look on him.

They finally decide on a simple, not-too-fancy italian restaurant (which is great, because Jisoo was craving lasagna and Jeonghan can’t say no to homemade pizza even if he tried).

It’s a win-win situation.

It’s only a few minutes and they’ve already gotten their drinks, Jisoo with his diet coke and Jeonghan with iced tea.

Truth is, the point of dragging Jeonghan out of the house did not only involve getting him a nice proper meal without having to cook, but to spend some time with him, _talk._ He takes a few minutes in which Jeonghan’s happily babbling about the flowers and arrangements, when they both fall silent, Jeonghan picking on a napkin as they wait for their food.

It’s now or never, Jisoo thinks.

“How is it going with Seungcheol?”

Contrary to his expectations, Jeonghan only sips his tea, a thoughtful calm expression on his face.

“We’ll meet on Thursday to talk about the flowers… along with the theme. I’ll show Seungcheol the decorations, the cutlery, small samples of it all. We’ll have The Plaza for a while, and I plan to show him how will everything look that day.” Jeonghan explains, eyes fixed on the glass in front of him, absently caressing the edges with his fingers.

Jisoo stays in silence for a few seconds, humming in thought, thinking his next words as carefully as he can.

“That’s great, but Han… we both know that’s not what I meant.” He insists gently, and he can see Jeonghan almost flinch at the implications of it, and if he notices correctly, his cheeks getting red.

Jisoo knows if Jeonghan refuses to speak now, he shouldn’t intrude, but he also knows that Jeonghan needs to get this off his chest. He won’t let him deal with this all by himself.

“That’s... “ Jeonghan parts his lips and then closes his mouth again, taking a deep breath.

There’s a low chatter noise from a few tables away, but other than that, the restaurant is almost empty, and Jisoo is glad of the illusion that they’re in private, just the two of them.

Jeonghan takes a few moments, setting down the napkin he’s been playing with and he croaks a small smile, eyes crinkling when he looks up at him.

“No need to worry, Ji.” Jeonghan says, _lies_ , Jisoo knows. They both do. And it’s painful to watch, Jisoo wonders if Jeonghan noticed his eyes just got watery, if maybe he underestimates the effect Seungcheol has on him. “I’ve got it under control.”

Jisoo feels his heart sinking, and he takes a deep breath, trying not to push, but his worry overcomes his caution.

“After what happened with Woojin, I just—”

Jeonghan _almost_ winces at that, but apparently catches himself just in time to keep the smile on his face (even though it’s fake).

“No need to worry,” He repeats, eyes fixed on Jisoo’s and there are no tears now, just this determined glance instead. “That’s… water under the bridge by now.”

Jisoo decides not to push any further.

***

Jeonghan finally decided to meet with Seungcheol again.

They hadn’t seen each other in days, since he brought him home after he was sick, and they’ve only emailed each other and called, to decide a few aspects of the wedding that couldn’t wait any longer. He’d be lying if he said he weren’t nervous after all this time, and seeing Min-Young that day only left him insecure and self-conscious about everything he does around Seungcheol.

Are they friends? Is he only working for him?

He had thought they had a nice relationship before, but maybe he’s overstepping the boundaries he usually maintains with his clients. And truth is, if he wants to maintain a clear head until the end of this wedding, he’ll need to stop with this whole fiasco (crush) on Seungcheol.

It can’t be that hard, right? He’s dealt with a few (not many) unrequited crushes before.

He’ll live.

Seungcheol arrives to the café right on a time, looking around until he spots him, Jeonghan had made it a few minutes early, wanting to clear his head and settle before Seungcheol got here. He looks so much better than the last time they saw each other, his cheeks a bit red probably from hurrying himself to get here on time, and his hair tousled, but not too much.

It’s also the first time Jeonghan sees him wearing a hoodie and jeans, looking slightly disheveled and, he can't helo but notice, so much younger than usual. Seungcheol bows gently as he makes it to the table, smiling like the sun (dimples, gums and perfect teeth on display and everything).

“Hi.”

He won’t live.

“Um, I brought you lemon drops,” He says, as soon as he sits down, pulling them out of his pocket. He’s not carrying a bag today, and plus the sophomore look he wonders if something happened or maybe if he’s not coming from _his_ department? “Just in case you caught a cold because of me.” He mumbles, pulling out the candies and leaving them on the table.

Jeonghan looks down at the tin, he _despises_ hard candies, he really does. Still, it's such a thoughtful gesture and they hadn't seen each other in weeks... why does he feel like crying again?

For fuck’s sake, he won’t live.

“Luckily you look fine!” He adds cheerfully, when Jeonghan doesn’t reply.

Jeonghan finally snaps out of it and shakes his head.

“I’m fine, I never get sick,” He says calmly, even managing to smile, like a functioning human being. “Thank you for this.”

He pulls the candies towards him, deciding to put them in his bag, because otherwise he’ll cry everytime he catches a glimpse of it. Seungcheol looks undeterred by his awkward mood, eyes fixed on Jeonghan’s.

His heart starts beating faster, the sound almost pounding on his ears.

“I missed you,” Seungcheol blurts out, without looking away, and it’s filled with so much honesty and warmth that Jeonghan it’s too stunned to speak.

Luckily, _someone_ beats him to it.

“Sir, would you like to order something?” The waitress asks, breaking the moment, but at least Jeonghan finally  can breathe. And apparently she had been standing there a few seconds ago, they just didn’t notice her, too immersed into each other to catch her waiting by their table.

Okay, missing the _person that works for you_ is totally normal. Right?

He doesn't even know anymore. 

Why every time he’s trying not to fall for Seungcheol, he says things like this?

Still, he wants to say _I missed you too_ , but if he blurts out those words now, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to deal with the consequences. He has a wedding to plan and his feelings have never gotten in the way before, and he won’t start today.

Luckily Seungcheol focuses on ordering, and Jeonghan drifts off, pulling out his notebook and pen from his bag, scribbling down on the small candelar he drew last night.

“Since we’re close to the wedding, I made another schedule, considering these last thirty days.”

Seungcheol nods along, leaning his elbow on the table and his cheek against his hand, listening intently. Jeonghan tries _really_ hard not to blush under the intense stare of Seungcheol’s eyes, how his attention focus solely on him when they’re together.

“I wrote down what we’ve got left to do: The suit, last fitting for Min-Young’s dress, last catering for the food. You also told me you had a friend who could take care of the music, we’ve got to hire some equipment,” He points with his pen at the different dates as they speak, the October fourth rounded in red. “I already ordered the cake and I also made arrangements with Minghao.”

The waitress interrupts them for a second, bringing Seungcheol’s coffee and two muffins. Jeonghan blinks up at the plate, but Seungcheol doesn’t say anything about it, just slides one plate towards him as he takes a bite of his own muffin.

_How smooth._

Jeonghan licks his lips despite himself, he didn’t say anything (and he decided not to order), but he’s actually hungry, the tea he’s drinking being his only breakfast until now.

Maybe if he eats _some_ of it it wouldn’t be so terrible. He had a light dinner last night and the day before too, perhaps he could-

“So much work, Jeonghan, have you been sleeping well?” Seungcheol asks, interrupting his thoughts, and as he looks up he’s met with his big eyes, full of worry.

He decides to clear his throat, looking down at his notebook for a moment.

“I’m not the one who passed out from a fever two weeks ago, am I?” Jeonghan says, instead of replying, but there’s a glint of amusement on his tone, enough for Seungcheol to roll his eyes playfully.

Not only that, his cheeks get tinged with pink and he smiles, sheepishly.

“You wouldn’t believe it, but I never get sick. It was unusual for me too.” He explains, looking down and everything, he resembles a child being scolded for a second and it’s _almost_ endearing.

If Jeonghan weren’t trying not to think everything Seungcheol ever does it’s cute.

(It’s extremely hard, he has noticed until now).

“Yeah, _right.”_ Jeonghan teases and Seungcheol pouts, crossing his arms against his chest and everything. “How about instead of worrying about me, we finish up this wedding, hm?”

“Of course, Yoon Jeonghan-ssi.” Seungcheol replies seriously, mirth slipping in his tone of voice anyway, making fun of him.

Jeonghan slowly reaches towards the muffin, laughing as well.

He had forgotten how fun was to be with Seungcheol.

And he should also cherish it while he can.

***

Their small meeting at the café ends up lasting until lunchtime, so they eat something light and head towards The Plaza, their only destination for the day.

It’s a two hour drive from where they’re at, and as always they take Jeonghan’s car, listening to his pick on the radio and Seungcheol dozing lightly on the passenger seat.

It’s strangely domestic, Jeonghan can’t help but notice, and he hasn’t felt this comfortable with someone in years, apart from his longtime friends. He smiles lightly as he observes Seungcheol from time to time, how he cradled his head against the window to sleep, and how young he looks today, with his stupid hoodie and jeans.

Such a soft look on him that Jeonghan feels back in his student years, where he drove around from his dorm to the campus, carrying his sleep deprived friends towards his classes (as he tried not to fall asleep himself).

Jeonghan’s learned that Seungcheol’s like a baby, after eating he always seems to be dozing off everywhere. He won’t admit it, but he hates waking him up, when he looks this peaceful and calm. He has to though, because they’re already arriving to the hotel and he figures he at least needs to clean the drool that’s falling down his chin.

He parks the car, sliding off his sunglasses to put on his specs instead, fixing his hair in the rear mirror and then turning to Seungcheol.

“Hey, we’re here,” he whispers gently, tapping on his shoulder. “Seungcheol,” he insists, a little louder.

Seungcheol groans in his sleep, making Jeonghan smile, and then he tries to go back to his sleeping position, away from Jeonghan’s jabbing finger. _Five minutes more_ he mumbles and Jeonghan lets out a laugh instead, deciding to pinch his shoulder playfully.

“What the—” Immediately Seungcheol sits up straight, rubbing at his eyes tiredly and looking around.

“You always fall asleep on my car,” Jeonghan scolds softly, Seungcheol only pouts (just _now_ noticing the drool and cleaning it with a shy smile). “Come on, they’re already waiting for us.”

Jeonghan had decided not to tell Seungcheol what they were doing there, because he figured now that they were almost ready, and considering Seungcheol had been almost planning the whole thing by himself, he wanted it to be a surprise for him.

He can only hope it looks as amazing as he had planned it to.

They leave the car and head towards the entrance in a hurried pace, Jeonghan’s a regular here and he wasn’t lying about them waiting, and he won’t lie to himself, he’s actually excited about Seungcheol’s reaction.

“I still don’t understand what are we doing here,” Seungcheol whispers, looking around and probably feeling self-conscious, all the people around them are dressing nice, and Jeonghan doesn’t miss the way Seungcheol keeps taking his arm and hiding behind him as they walk, using him as a shield.

It’s kind of cute.

“Just wait,” Jeonghan tells him, as they make it to the end of the hallway, a closed door in front of them. It’s not the main salon as they chose, but it’s big enough that Jeonghan decided that he could work with this.

“I still don’t under—” Jeonghan decides to show him and he opens the door with both of his hands, letting the light coming from the room blind them for a second.

When it’s clear enough to see, Seungcheol stands there, gaping like a fish.

The salon is decorated with the theme of the wedding, gold and white, and all the ornaments are in place, tables and flowers, mantelpieces and the invitations on every table. And at the end of the room, a big white grand piano, it almost looking like its glowing, matching the yellowish tones of the sunlight against every piece of decoration.

Jeonghan feels his heart swell with pride, sure, he knew that this would be a challenge, but he never thought he could actually make it, and even though it’s not like _everything_ is ready, this is a small sample of how it’ll look and it’s _beautiful_ and—

His thoughts are interrupted by big strong arms pulling him into a hug from behind, and it takes a few moments for him to notice it’s Seungcheol.

“Jeonghan, this is such an amazing work.” Seungcheol mumbles against his shoulder, hot breath through the fabric of his shirt, sending chills down his spine.

Jeonghan feels his breath hitch at Seungcheol’s closeness, his body going stiff. He couldn’t move even if he tried (he wouldn’t), the grip of Seungcheol’s arms tight against his waist. He had never thought about how strong Seungcheol would feel against him, how hard yet soft.

“Min will love it, lilies are her favorite.” He comments and Jeonghan looks around the room one more time, the flowers were a picky one, but he’s so glad it looks beautiful now, he’s glad Seungcheol approves.

His work is the most important thing to him, and even though he has feelings for Seungcheol, he can’t help but feel that small tug at his heart that he’s doing this to make someone’s day the happiest of their life.

He feels tears prickling into his eyes, but for the first time, he feels light in a way he hasn’t felt in weeks.

“This is _perfect_ , thank you.” Seungcheol chokes without pulling back, not even an inch, squeezing him tight, meaning every word with his actions. His voice sounds wet and Jeonghan is glad he doesn’t pull back just yet, because he’s tearing up too, enjoying the feeling of Seungcheol’s smile against his shoulder and his arms tight around him, as if he can’t bear to let go or he’ll disappear.

He’s sure Seungcheol will be ecstatic in his wedding day, and he will be glad to make it happen.

It’ll be all worth it if he can make him smile like this.


	12. The suit

“A party.”

“Yes.”

“An actual party,” Seungcheol repeats dubiously and Jeonghan tries really hard not to roll his eyes.

Usually he gets a different response, like _finally! something fun!_ or _thank you, Jeonghan, planning two parties AND a wedding is hard_ , but not _this._

He thought it’d be a relief for Seungcheol and Min-Young, something else to focus on, something _entertaining_.

With only twenty days to the wedding, he thought that this was perfect timing to do this, now suddenly he wished he’d have chosen to remind Seungcheol over the phone, not inviting him in to a café, where everyone could see how disappointed he was that Seungcheol had forgotten the parties he took so long to prepare for.

“You don’t… like parties?” He asks gently, because by no means he wants to offend. Some people don’t like parties. Personally, he doesn’t particularly enjoy them either, he’d rather something quieter with his friends instead of partying (not that any of his friends were _quiet_ and neither was he, but still).

When Seungcheol doesn’t reply, picking on his napkin instead of looking at him, Jeonghan swallows, feeling uncomfortable. Is it a sensitive subject?

He did take some time planning it as well... he can’t help but feel a little down that Seungcheol didn’t even seems to recall that he had agreed to this already, in the first meeting they had, and now he just looks _unconvinced_.

Jeonghan can’t help but feel extremely self conscious for a moment, looking down too.

Damn Choi Seungcheol, messing with his feelings like that.

“I can still cancel it if you don’t want to…”

“Oh, I… yes, I do like parties.” Seungcheol says immediately, probably catching the disappointed expression on Jeonghan’s face. “It’s just, I wasn’t expecting a party. Like an engagement party? Because we’re almost getting married so…”

The last words make his stomach twist uncomfortably, as if Jeonghan didn’t know.

“It’s more like… a party with your friends. I’ve chosen two places, for Min-Young and you.” Jeonghan explains. “I took into account that you wanted something simple, and Min-Young, well… I haven’t spent so much time with her, but I read the preferences she sent me and found a place, I hope she approves.”

“I’m sure she will.” Seungcheol says, smiling reassuringly.

Jeonghan ignores the blush creeping on his cheeks and decides to continue, otherwise he’ll never finish this before they can go to the suit shop. He takes a sip of his tea as he pretends to busy himself pulling out his notebook out of his bag.

“In your case, I considered,” Jeonghan opens his notebook until he finds a page with a list. “Kim Mingyu-ssi, Jeon Wonwoo-ssi, Lee Jihoon-ssi and Kwon Soonyoung-ssi, right?”

Seungcheol snickers.

“There’s no need to be so formal, they’re our age, younger even. But yeah, those kids.”

Jeonghan tries not to smile at the fond yet slightly annoyed expression on Seungcheol’s part.

“Is there anyone else you want to consider?” Jeonghan asks absently, scribbling on his notebook a reminder to call the owner and confirm their assistance.

“This is only for my friends, right?”

“Yes.”

“Male friends?”

“If you want to see it like that.”

“Then yes.” Seungcheol says, nodding and Jeonghan looks up, he couldn’t have possibly forgotten someone on the guest list, he checked like _four_ times and Seungcheol did highlight his most _important_ friends, how could—

“Really? Who?”

“You.” Seungcheol says confidently.

Oh, how he hates him.

“I… _Me?_ I’m not supposed to, I mean— _thank you_ , but—"

Is he really _stuttering_? What is he, a teenage with his first crush?

_Pull yourself together, Yoon Jeonghan._

He takes a deep shuddering breath, trying not to let Seungcheol see how much that affected him. He figures it’s too late, but he doesn’t care, Seungcheol only met him two months ago and he’s already part of his _important_ group of friends.

How couldn’t his heart flutter? He didn’t even consider it could be him.

“I… I planned to be there anyway, not as your friend,” Jeonghan starts, trying not sound as strained as he actually feels. “But to check that everything went accordingly.”

He promised himself that his feels for Seungcheol wouldn’t get in the way of his work and this is a perfect example.

He needs to say no.

“I’ll think about it.”

Seungcheol smiles brightly at that, clearly enough for him to feel satisfied, even if it wasn’t a _yes._

Great.

Jeonghan decides to finish his tea and starts gathering his things, as Seungcheol seems to catch up, drinking the last of his coffee and taking his bag. They both leave the café without saying another word, and Jeonghan tries not to think about how he just fucked up saying he’d _think about it_ , when he should have said it isn’t exactly appropriate for him to go.

There are still a few days to the party… maybe he can gather the courage to say no later.

“You do remember what’s in for today, don’t you?” Jeonghan asks, glad that the few stores he picked are only a few minutes away from each other.

Usually his clients take a lot with the suits and the dresses, with Min-Young it was surprisingly fast, but he has no idea about what to expect when it comes to Seungcheol.

If it’s anything like what happened with the venues, he’ll say everything is _nice._

“Yeah, the suit.” Seungcheol chants obediently. “Does this mean I get to see Min’s dress? They’ve got to match right?”

Oh God, everytime he thinks Seungcheol knows nothing about weddings, he just keeps hitting a new low.

What does Seungcheol think this is? Some Instagram post about matching clothing?

“Not really,” Jeonghan says, trying not to sound unkind. “Besides, I’ve seen the dress, I’ll tell you if you don’t match.”

“Ah.”

“And well… you wanted _simple_ , so I figured you’d go with a traditional suit?” He asks, checking on his emails as they walk, he’s still got no response from the music equipment. He’ll have to call as soon as he gets home. “Which sounds to me like an English style suit?” He ventures absently, placing the phone back into his pocket.

“Um… yes, I guess? I’m not really good with clothes.” Seungcheol replies awkwardly, shifting on his spot as Jeonghan suddenly stops, in front of the entrance of one of the stores he picked.

Thinking about what he has seen Seungcheol wear, Jeonghan disagrees, but nods anyway because it’s not exactly his place to comment on his fashion sense.

He only knows that if a man in his twenties can pull out the ripped-jeans-and-hoodie look, he will most _definitely_ look dashing on a suit. Still… Seungcheol looks very self conscious about _something_ , Jeonghan can’t exactly tell, and for a second he wonders if it has to do with his body type, perhaps?

Most of the time Seungcheol seems shy, but not openly worried about his appearance, and now Jeonghan thinks that _maybe_ Seungcheol might not know how handsome he is.

“Come on, no need to fret,” He says gently, because he knows what it’s to feel self conscious about your own body. He feels brave enough to place a hand on his back and press softly, ushering him inside. “I’ll be there.”

Seungcheol turns back to him, but doesn’t say anything, just smiles in a small private way.

Jeonghan doesn’t need to keep his hand there to guide him all over the store until they get to the men section, but he does anyway.

(And Seungcheol doesn’t seem to mind).

***

Seungcheol stands awkwardly inside the dresser, waiting for Jeonghan to come with the suits he picked.

He had decided not to pick anything himself, just trust in what Jeonghan would bring him and try those suits on. Jeonghan always looked nice and elegant too, and tall. And lean.

If anyone could find something that would make him look decent, it’d be Jeonghan.

He was starting to get anxious when he _finally_ heard some rustling just at the other side of the curtain.

“Okay, I picked four.” Jeonghan says, only sounding a bit strained, suits are heavy, and Jeonghan isn’t exactly strong to carry all of them.

Seungcheol’s almost tempted to peek outside to mock him, but decides to stay inside, since he already took off his jacket and jeans. A few seconds later, Jeonghan opens the curtain just enough to hand him the suits, one by one.

“I’ll be waiting, okay? Take your time.” He says, and the curtain gets fully closed again. “If… if there’s any of those you don’t like, you don’t have to show me, just discard them right away.” He adds tentatively and Seungcheol’s heart clenches at how sweet that was, he wonders if maybe Jeonghan picked some of his insecurities outside and he’s being thoughtful.

Seungcheol appreciates it either way.

He decides not to stretch this any longer and sighs, looking at the suits in front of him; they all look black and awfully similar so he picks one randomly and tries it on.

“Um, Jeonghan,” He asks, hoping it’s loud enough for him to hear. He has no idea if he’s waiting right outside for him.

“Yeah? Everything okay in there?”

“I think…” He starts, trying not to sound awkward but probably failing. He looks himself in the mirror, smoothing down the jacket, which looks good, the thing is the _trousers_. “It’s just…”

How does he say that the pants are extremely tight around his ass and thighs and it’s so uncomfortable but also _embarrassing._ He’s looking at himself in the mirror and he can see how flushed his face got, even the tips of his ears are red.

He doesn’t want to explain this to Jeonghan and he doesn’t know how—

“Ah, sorry, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan interrupts his thoughts, before he gets the chance to say anything. “I just noticed I only picked single breasted jackets and I should have picked a double breasted jacket instead. It’s more formal, can I get those back?”

Seungcheol bites on his lower lip, cheeks flushing even more, because there’s no way Jeonghan could have mistaken the jackets or whatever he meant when he said that, which probably means… he must have figured what had happened and saved him from the embarrassment of saying it out loud.

That’s like the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for him lately.

“Take that off and hand it over,” Jeonghan adds, not minding that he didn’t get a verbal reply. “I’ll found something else.”

Seungcheol is glad that Jeonghan can’t see him right now, because there’s no way he’d be able to hide the blush on his cheeks and how dumbfounded he actually feels.

“Okay, thanks.” He whispers, but it’s enough for Jeonghan to hear, and he can almost see him smiling when he says the next words.

“No problem, that’s what I’m here for.”

Seungcheol would be lying if he says he didn’t almost tear up at that.

***

It’s been almost an hour when Seungcheol finally steps out of the dresser, wearing a suit he feels comfortable enough to show Jeonghan.

He noticed two things in the meantime, one, Jeonghan had definitely changed the suits for his sake, because even though the jackets were different, the size had changed and he had picked high waisted trousers instead, and two, Jeonghan must have a lot patience to wait outside a dresser for an hour without even seeing anything.

The suit he had picked to show Jeonghan was simple, the jacket not too tight around the shoulders and not with enough buttons to get himself confused about button etiquette of some sort.

He stands in front of the big mirror, feeling quite confident in this one, but Jeonghan hasn’t said a word since he stepped out, so that can’t be a good sign.

“You think we can add a button-hole on the lapel?” He hears Jeonghan asks the employee he’s been with them from the start. “I was picturing it with a boutonniere.”

They keep on talking for a few minutes, but Seungcheol doesn’t mind them, just tires to focus on the mirror and how he looks and how _this_ might be his wedding suit. And he’s marrying in less than a month, he’ll be walking down the aisle with Min-Young at his side and then he’ll say _yes_ and—

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan says and he snaps out of it, turning to him. If his expression is anything to go by, it’s not the first time he had called his name. “I was asking if you liked this one?”

Seungcheol licks his lips, turning back to look at himself in the mirror one more time. He knows nothing will change even if he keeps looking, but he has to do something. He focuses on the way the trousers fit his legs comfortably and the high waisted trousers make his silhouette look good, and the jacket seems elegant too, he even feels a bit taller.

“I think I do like it,” He says, smiling for the first time today.

Jeonghan smiles back, looking impressed.

“I’m glad you do.”

“But… can we like not buy it right away?” Seungcheol asks. “You picked a few more, and maybe I could try them on, if we can.”

Jeonghan blinks up at him, clearly thinking that maybe he’s doing it for his sake, but his expression softens quickly and he nods. Two hours more end up passing and he goes back to the same exact suit he had liked in the beginning.

“I thought maybe I’d like another one more,” Seungcheol says, after saying he’s sorry for wasting so much time only to pick the first one again. “But in the end, I didn’t.”

Jeonghan smiles, not really focusing on him as he instructs the employee a few things Seungcheol doesn’t understand about fabrics and cuff links.

“You seem to know a lot about suits.” Seungcheol comments, knowing he sounds like an idiot, but he can’t really concentrate, not when there’s someone measuring near his crotch area and Jeonghan is standing in front of him, assessing him with critical eye. Besides, he’s in the _middle_ of the room, and he’s shy.

“It’s actually my job, Seungcheol,” Jeonghan says easily, without looking at him, Seungcheol is glad he doesn’t, he’s sure he doesn’t want to know how flushed he looks.

When the measurements are done and the suit has been temporarily arranged (he’s afraid a needle might pinch him, so he tries not to move that much), he stands there, feeling good… great even.

His eyes land on Jeonghan and for a second he catches the way he’s being stared at, there’s pure _shock_ and he looks dumbfounded, Seungcheol knows he isn’t exactly unattractive, but the look in Jeonghan‘s eyes makes him think he’s seeing the eighth wonder of the world.

Sadly, it was gone in a second and Seungcheol had to bite his lip, trying to commit that expression to memory.

He doesn’t have a moment to think what might mean, because Jeonghan walks towards him, presses his hands on his chest and smiles.

“I think…” Jeonghan whispers, minty breath hitting Seungcheol’s lips, causing his heart to skip a beat. “This one looks perfect,” He adds, smoothing his hands down his chest, his warm fingertips pressing against the fabric, sending electricity down Seungcheol’s spine.

Oh God.

Is his heart still beating after that? Is it hot in here or it’s just that Jeonghan it’s _too_ freaking close? Also, and more importantly, did he just get a boner with Jeonghan’s low voice and closeness? He _really_ hopes not.

He pulls back enough to breath and notices that, _no_ , the whole body blush was only his imagination, but his heart is definitely beating faster and there’s no way Jeonghan misses the way… the _effect_ he has on him, for God’s sake.

They stare each other, for Seungcheol it feels like _ages_ , and then Jeonghan pulls back and away, giving Seungcheol a moment to gather his messy thoughts.

After that dream he had, he can’t really react the same way to Jeonghan, it’s just too hard (haha!) to see him the way he saw him before… what can he do? He keeps telling himself he’s not attracted to him, that his interest in him is purely platonic and he’s only a friend and…

What can he do?

“Seungcheol.” Jeonghan says, picking up his bag and Seungcheol blinks up at him, confused. “I’m so sorry, but I need to leave.” He pockets his phone, apparently he had been texting. He never even noticed.

Seungcheol’s mind is working overtime, is this because of what just happened? Does Jeonghan really needs to leave? Would he lie?

“I’ve got a reply from the person who would rent us the music equipment,” He explains, with an apologetic smile. “And I need to be in half an hour. I already took care of everything here, you can just change and leave after.”

“Jeonghan, I—” Seungcheol starts, unsure of what to say, but definitely meaning—

_Please stay._

Jeonghan looks up, eyes expectant and breath catching at his throat, they’re standing so close to each other that he can even notice that.

_Fuck, what the hell is wrong with him?_

“I just... wanted to say thank you for,” Seungcheol starts, licking his lips and waving around, he doesn't think he has the right words to say _thank you for worrying about my feelings, for noticing how self conscious I am,_ without making it sound like something weird. “This.” He ends lamely.

Seungcheol doesn’t miss the way Jeonghan seems only slightly disappointed, but quickly brushes it off, trying a smile instead.

“Right. As I said, no problem,” He says, putting on his sunglasses (his cue to leave, probably)  as Seungcheol tries to resist the urge to ask him to stay, because there’s no reason to, but he _wants_ him here. He’ll feel silly standing here all by himself in the middle of a store, and with Jeonghan everything feels so much easier and… “See you at the party.”

Seungcheol nods distractedly, of course, the party and… wait a second.

“Are you actually going then? As my friend or—” He starts, not being one to self control.

Jeonghan looks at him through his sunglasses and smiles, this time, it definitely makes Seungcheol's heart skip a beat.

“Guess we’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back <3 I took a break from all the angst from Pinwheel and I started a series called Kids These Days (with parent jeongcheol and so much fluff) thank you all for waiting this update and reading/commenting! Only four chapters left now!


	13. The party

Jeonghan has to admit he hasn’t stood in front of his wardrobe to decide what to wear in years.

Usually he goes with something simple that’ll look elegant, _effortless_.

And it should be easy, when he started with this business he noticed right away he’d need a decent wardrobe, to impress clients. And over the years, he has accumulated a lot of stylish, formal and even unnecessarily expensive clothes, shoes and accessories.

Then why _tonight_ of all nights he can’t make up his mind?

He had already tried to start with a shirt, but he hadn’t been able to settle on one. Then he had gone for the pants, but none of them convinced him enough. 

Jeonghan suppresses a sigh, looking at the time, he needs to leave. In like fifteen minutes or otherwise with the traffic and everything, he’ll be late.

He can only thank the universe that his hair looks good no matter what he does, because otherwise he’d have to spend even more time styling it.

Time he doesn’t have, by the way.

“So… basically you had to insist on the party because he didn’t look like he wanted one now?” Jisoo comments, somehow summarizing what went down the other day.

Jeonghan has to admit two things:

1\. He can hear the scold in Jisoo’s voice but decides to ignore it.

2\. He has to admit he almost forgot Jisoo was there at all.

His hands are sweating, he keeps chewing his bottom lip (and he can only pray he won’t draw blood) and now he has started pacing. It’s just a party, nothing more, then why is he so nervous?

“I thought you didn’t plan bachelor parties.” Jisoo adds quietly, when he doesn’t reply and this time Jeonghan takes a deep breath, stopping on his incessant walking around the room to turn to look at Jisoo, who’s laying in the bed, seemingly unconcerned about Jeonghan’s drama.

“It’s not a bachelor party, who does that? It’s tacky.” Jeonghan hisses through his teeth, throwing the last shirt he had _thought_ could work back into the drawers, with a little more force than needed.

His patience is running _really_ low right now.

“Well... he’ll go with his friends. Male friends and you guys are going to drink.” Jisoo ponders, sounding way too rational, the opposite way Jeonghan feels tonight, to be honest. He doesn’t need to listen to this right now. “That’s the definition of a bachelor party.”

Jeonghan is unconvinced by the tight black jeans he’s holding, but suddenly he feels like leaving the room.

And the house.

So he strips in front of Jisoo (not like he hasn’t done that before) and puts them down, settling on his favorite black boots.

“I’d _never_ insist on a party if he didn’t want one _._ It’d be so unprofessional." Jeonghan says through his teeth, pulling out two shirts from his closet, a striped one and another plain gray one. The last one is loose enough so that if he wears it with the jeans, he knows it’ll definitely look good.

Decided then.

“I just think he’s exhausted and needs a social gathering to relax, he doesn’t even—okay, don’t look at me like that. It’s the truth.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes, buttoning up the shirt he had chosen and tucking it inside his jeans, when he takes a look at the mirror... he manages to calm down a little.

He doesn’t look _that_ bad, he actually looks good on this.

Great, one less thing to worry about tonight.

Jisoo sighs, and Jeonghan knows what’s going on through his mind. Not like he actually _cares_ , he has enough to worry about while he’s dealing with the damn _tiny_ clasp to fasten his dice necklace and _complete_ his outfit for today.

“I’m just stating the facts, Han.” Jisoo continues, and he really shouldn’t. “You said you had it under control and yet you’re freaking out about a shirt, you’re not usually like this over—”

“Not really in the mood, Jisoo-yah.” Jeonghan interrupts, noticing Jisoo has stood up and is trying to reach out for him, but Jeonghan pulls back as if the contact would burn.

He doesn’t care that Jisoo is looking softly at him, tone gentle and everything. And in the back of his mind, Jeonghan knows where he’s coming from, but he’s already stressed out about the wedding, about Seungcheol, about _every single thing_ and he needs a break.

Maybe he’s not being smart, or professional, or whatever. But he’s tired of doing the right thing, of pretending he’s not feeling like hell. 

“You never call me Jisoo.”

“Because I’m _not_ in the mood.” Jeonghan repeats, loud and clear.

Jisoo almost flinches at that, but he still looks up at him, intently.

“Han, I just worry that—”

“Well, then _don’t_. I’m an adult, I know what I’m doing.” Jeonghan says, picking up his bag, phone and car keys and slamming the door.

And if Jisoo says something, Jeonghan just pretends he didn’t hear it.

***

Jeonghan arrives to the club right on time.

The place is packed, but Jeonghan knows it doesn’t matter, he had booked one of the private rooms for the night. Seungcheol had commented that he just really wanted to chat and drink in peace, not exactly dance with strangers or anything.

He heads to the second floor, trying not to think about the fight he had with Jisoo.

They had been roommates for years and he didn’t remember the last time they had discussed like this… And even though Jeonghan feels like he cooled off as he drove here, he still feels like he’s right enough not to apologize to Jisoo.

It’s not like he doesn’t know what he’s doing, it’s not like Jisoo needs to worry about him, he _does_ have this under control.

Luckily he doesn’t need to think much about anything at all, and while the sounds of the music have subdued when he arrives to the second floor, he feels a bit more distracted, more willing to spend the night thinking about something else.

The room he booked was meant for twelve people and they’re only six (counting himself), so they’ll be more than comfortable there. If Jeonghan’s being honest, he had booked this even before Seungcheol had confirmed his guests, because usually the number of close friends people choose remains almost the same.

They’d all fit in here and he had nothing to worry about.

He knocks on the sliding door, noticing that of all the things that he had pictured for tonight, interacting with Seungcheol’s friends hadn’t been one of them, what if they didn’t like him? What if they felt uncomfortable that he was even here?

Shit, he really hadn’t thought this part through.

The door opens and he’s greeted by a smiley Seungcheol. Jeonghan manages to relax enough to smile softly in response, but then his eyes travel around the room and he notices it’s empty.

Where are Seungcheol’s friends?

“Hi! I didn’t know if you’d come,” Seungcheol comments, letting Jeonghan in. “Since you said _maybe_ and then _guess we’ll see_ , but I’m glad you did.”

Jeonghan hears the door closing behind him and he feels his heart beating faster.

Suddenly now at least one of Seungcheol’s friends being present sounds like a good idea, because how is he supposed to be all alone with Seungcheol and not act like a complete idiot?

He actually swallows and turns, trying not to freak out. And he finally gives Seungcheol a proper look, honestly… he looks dashing, from head to toe.

It’s like high-waisted pants were _invented_ for Seungcheol.

And suddenly he’s glad he didn’t choose the striped shirt, because Seungcheol is wearing a black and blue one and he would _definitely_ not be able to pull it off _like that_.

“You must be wondering what happened with the kids.” Seungcheol says sheepishly, signalling for Jeonghan to sit down, which he does, because he feels really awkward standing in the middle of the room anyway. “Mingyu and Wonwoo are stuck in traffic and Soonyoung sprained his ankle, so he’s in the emergency room with Jihoonie right now.”

Jeonghan almost curses outloud because that’s really bad luck.

“Oh… I’m sorry,” He mumbles, not knowing what else to say to make it better. Seungcheol doesn’t look sad, but still… he must have been disappointed that he was all alone and Jeonghan was the first one to arrive, right?

“Well, they’ll be here when they can.” Seungcheol shrugs, unconcerned. “We’ve got all night.”

Jeonghan tries not to visibly gulp at that statement, so he decides to pull out his pen and notebook, so Seungcheol knows that he’s here for work… nothing else.

“So… You want a drink?” Seungcheol asks, looking nervous to even ask.

Right, he expected something like this. He’s prepared.

He needs to say no.

“While I’m at work?” Jeonghan asks, feigning offense. He just couldn’t help himself sometimes.

He really _really_ wants to play along.

Just for tonight.

“Well, you did arrange the party already, so you’re off the clock.” Seungcheol says, shrugging as he didn’t care either way, but somehow Jeonghan can sense he really wants him to stay and drink with him.

So against all of his better judgement (i.e. Jisoo), Jeonghan looks up at Seungcheol, eyes crinkling as he smiles.

“Alright, a drink won’t hurt.”

***

“Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

They’ve gone over embarrassing stories, over their worst dates _and_ their first impressions of each other too.

And Jeonghan would be lying if he says he isn’t feeling a little tipsy already.

It’s pleasant though, the way they’re sitting right in front of each other, a bottle of soju between them. Jeonghan loves the way Seungcheol’s cheeks have gone a little red, how he looks more relaxed and carefree.

“Come on,” Seungcheol prompts, resting his chin on his left hand to fix his eyes on Jeonghan’s.

 _Did you want to kiss me too in the cake catering?_ is what he really want to ask, but he bites on his tongue.

“How did you propose?” Jeonghan asks, and he knows he’s being a masochist, imagining how much of a romantic Seungcheol is, but he doesn’t care.

He’s tipsy and being stupid. He’ll deal with it in the morning, when’s he’s hungover and full of regrets.

Seungcheol’s smile fades for a second, looking uncomfortable and _now_ Jeonghan regrets it.

“Sorry, is that a…” He stammers, looking down at his drink instead, he had thought that maybe with all they had been sharing this wouldn’t cross a boundary, but apparently he had thought wrong. “You don’t have to answer.”

Oh God, he fucked up. He never imagined it’d be a sensitive subject and now Seungcheol is practically squirming in his seat.

Well done, Yoon Jeonghan.

Maybe he can still take it back, somehow—

“I didn’t.” Seungcheol replies, a bitter smile on his features and Jeonghan can’t hide his confusion.

 _Wait, what_?

Maybe Min-Young proposed? Because that happened all the time, but still it didn’t explain Seungcheol’s gloomy expression.

But Jeonghan doesn’t speak, because maybe Seungcheol wants to keep playing or maybe he wants to talk about it, or maybe he’ll stay silent and Jeonghan’s willing to do all those things for him.

“It was… I told you it had to do with Min’s parents retiring and it does, but now that I… think about I guess it was kind of arranged all along. By our parents, they’re business associates.”

Oh.

And Jeonghan shouldn’t feel so happy at that, but he _does_. He feels happy, even though he can’t bring himself to smile because Seungcheol looks exhausted in a way that keeps unnerving Jeonghan. From day one when he saw him standing there, outside the café.

And even worse is the fact that Seungcheol seems like he just figured this out, like he hasn’t dared to say it outloud before.

What is he supposed to do with this information?

“That’s…” Jeonghan starts, not knowing what to say.

“I _mean_ , not like I don’t want to marry her, I do, it’s just… it was a weird dinner. They were being so mean to her and I thought like, _why not_ and I do lo—… I love her.”

They both stay in silence, looking down at their respective drinks.

“I’d have done it eventually.” Seungcheol whispers in the end and Jeonghan has no idea if he’s saying it to convince Jeonghan or himself, but he decides that they should probably change the subject.

“It’s my turn.” Jeonghan blurts out, because he hates how sad Seungcheol looks all of the sudden and he wants him to be happy, even though if it’s fake, even if it’s just because he’s drunk.

Seungcheol’s head snaps up and he smiles, gently, his eyes recovering some of his usual sparkle. Jeonghan almost swoons.

“Okay.” Seungcheol places his glass down, licking his lips. “Truth or dare, Yoon Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan’s heart is beating fast, and he feels uncoordinated enough that he might miss the glass if he wants to take a little sip right now.

Okay, maybe he was lying to himself when he said he was only tipsy.

“Truth.”

Seungcheol smirks, apparently he had been waiting for that one.

“Why weddings? Why not every other job in the world?” Seungcheol asks, words slurring and Jeonghan smiles.

“That counts as two questions.” He points outs, only to make Seungcheol laugh, and he does.

For a moment Jeonghan loses himself in how natural this feels, how they could be long time friends and not two people who met over work two months ago.

“Shush, just answer the question.”

Jeonghan laughs despite himself, fixing on his hair before replying. Seungcheol isn’t the first person to ask, but maybe he’ll be the first person to get the real reason.

“I like how each one presents its own challenge, I love how the couples make it unique and pour their feelings into it.” Jeonghan says, wondering if this makes sense, if he’s sounding eloquent enough. “I love how they think of every detail and surprise each other, I love to help to make that day the most special one, one they’ll remember forever. I just love wedding days, everything’s so beautiful and happy and… ” He trails off, thinking that was enough of an answer already.

And he doesn’t even dare to look up, just in case Seungcheol’s looking at him with a weird expression on his face (it has happened to him before).

“That’s like… really deep.” Seungcheol comments, sounding a bit dumb, but Jeonghan doesn’t care, he even blushes because Jeonghan always thought that people would find it stupid or cheesy. “Now I feel like an idiot doing what I do.”

Jeonghan drinks what’s left of his glass and stares at Seungcheol, with a silly smile. Honestly, he never did picture liking someone like Seungcheol, he’s more childish than he usually goes for, softer and _different_ in a way he can’t explain (not even when he’s sober).

“Jeonghan, why did you decide to help me? You had three months and told me it was impossible.” Seungcheol asks, and for the look on his face, he looks like he’s been waiting for that answer from a long time ago.

But since Jeonghan is an asshole.

“It’s not your turn now, is it?”

“You playing by the rules now?” Seungcheol asks, cheekily, looking interested.

Jeonghan’s heart skips a beat.

“Shut it. Still not your turn.” Jeonghan scolds and they both burst out laughing from the absurdity.

This night has been an up and down of emotions and Jeonghan can’t imagine how it’ll end.

(Or maybe he does and he’s just tricking himself).

“Truth or dare, Choi Seungcheol.” Jeonghan says, pouring more soju in both of their glasses, he spills a little on his, but neither of them seem to mind too much, both focused on staring at each other intently.

Jeonghan would really like to know what’s going on in Seungcheol’s mind right now.

“Okay,” Seungcheol says seriously, solemnly. “Truth.”

And he just downs the drink in one go, as if he’s preparing himself to do something, as if he’s giving himself courage.

Jeonghan licks his lips, suddenly feeling them dry. He’s only a few inches away from Seungcheol, he could reach out and… and do whatever he wanted to do.

He could kiss away his little pout or he could pull him by the nape and kiss him _hard_ or he could…

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Jeonghan blurts out, realizing too late how flirty it sounded, but it’s not like he can take it back, can he?

He said it already.

Seungcheol nods a few times, like this was a completely normal question.

“I just… don’t understand,” Seungcheol starts, and Jeonghan almost sobers up by how _conflicted_ he looks, how _real_ this is. And honestly he feels like his heart’s about to burst. “How come you look so pretty all the time.”

Jeonghan’s breath picks up speed, his fingers itching to reach out and just… put an end to this tension between them.

“Truth or dare.” Seungcheol says, seemingly unbothered by what he had just said. Although Jeonghan doesn’t miss the way Seungcheol shuffles closer to him, arranges his body so their raised hands are almost touching.

Jeonghan swallows, he actually feels like dying, his body is tingling all over and can’t stop the loud noise of his breathing and surely Seungcheol has noticed it too, right?

“Truth.” Jeonghan whispers and Seungcheol smiles, definitely drunk by now, but Jeonghan doesn’t care, he’s drunk too.

“Why are _you_ staring at me like that?” Seungcheol asks, tone intent and Jeonghan presses his thighs together, pressing his nails against his palm until it hurts.

Is this actually happening?

He really thinks that his heart might burst, any moment now.

Jeonghan gingerly extends his hand and downs the drink, deciding not to reply to that, because he can’t say it outloud, but clearly Seungcheol knows, how can’t he?

“Truth or—” Jeonghan starts.

“Dare.” Seungcheol smirks, seemingly unbothered by the last question that went unanswered.

This is an opening if Jeonghan ever sees one.

_Kiss me._

Jeonghan’s eyes land on Seungcheol’s lips, maybe he doesn’t need to say the dare outloud, Seungcheol will know, it always works for him, the way he only needs to tilt his head and bat his eyelashes and—

The sliding door opens suddenly and both Seungcheol and Jeonghan pull back at the speed of light, hearts beating overtime.

“Hyung!! We’re here!” Soonyoung announces cheerfully.

Seungcheol’s the first one to react, standing up and hitting the table when he does so, almost spilling all of the drinks in the process.

“You guys! You’re… here, you made it!” Seungcheol comments cheerfully, focusing on Soonyoung’s bandaged foot and almost wincing.

He can’t imagine how terrible it must have been to Soonyoung to get injured and then coming to the party anyway…

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, hyung.” Soonyoung says, limping his way inside with the help of Jihoon.

“You idiot.” Jihoon whispers next to him, looking grumpy.

“Hyung, Mingyu and Wonwoo are heading upstairs too. They were just parking the car.” Soonyoung comments, letting out a sigh when he finally sits down.

“That’s great you guys, but there’s someone I want you to meet…” Seungcheol says and when he takes a look around the room, he notices Jeonghan is nowhere to be seen.

How did he… he was right there. Only a second ago. And there’s only one way out of the room and it’s that door and he never noticed Jeonghan leaving.

He pulls out his phone, ready to call him and ask him what happened and he catches a notification on his phone screen.

It’s a text from Jeonghan.

_See you tomorrow. Have fun with your friends._

Seungcheol blinks at his screen, suddenly feeling a lot sober than he was before receiving the text. There are a lot of things he wants to ask, why did he leave? Did he say something bad? Is he coming back?

(What the hell just happened between them just now.)

Well, _of course he’s not coming back,_  a part of his brain provides. He did say _see you tomorrow_.

“Hyung, let’s make a toast because of your last days as a _legally_ single man!” Soonyoung asks, already raising a cup (he had no idea where he got that from).

Seungcheol stares at the door one last time, pocketing his phone. He’s still worried about Jeonghan, but his friends are here and he hasn’t seen them in ages…

“Okay,” He says weakly, sitting back down and wrapping an arm around Jihoon. “Cheers!”

Trying to forget around Jeonghan.

***

Jeonghan doesn’t dare to deny that he’s in a dark place right now.

It faintly him reminds him of the night Woojin had ended everything and he had begged him to stay and even then—

But with Seungcheol, he hasn’t even _done_ anything, they’re just employer and employee… or maybe even friends.

Nothing more.

And the thing is, that somewhere deep down he wishes Min-Young was awful. He wishes that she’d neglect Seungcheol or that she was mean or interested in money, because then he’d feel a little better.

But Min-Young isn’t.

She seems to genuinely care for Seungcheol even though they’re both kind of awkward, they seemed like they really love each other. They'd have married eventually, just like Seungcheol had said.

The door slowly opens and Jeonghan doesn’t turn. The lights are off, and he has left the glass door open, so Jisoo would notice he was in the balcony as soon as he arrived home.

He hears the distinct sound of him dropping his keys on the bowl, then taking off his shoes and leaving his jacket and bag on the sofa, without turning on the lights.

Jeonghan appreciates it.

“Am I a bad person, Ji?” Jeonghan asks, as Jisoo sits down next to him.

He knows what he looks like, he’s holding a bottle of soju in his hand and his bloodshot eyes are fixed on the citylights right in front of him. The balcony they have is small and Jeonghan usually hates it here, because he feels uncomfortable for not being able to stretch his legs, but today he had decided that the feel of his legs swinging on open air it’s more than refreshing and _exactly_ what he needs.

It reminds him of when he was a child.

“You don’t choose who to love, Han.” Jisoo whispers, wrapping an arm around Jeonghan’s shoulders, pulling him close. 

The thing is, he never said _love_ not even _like,_ but he doesn’t know if he can actually correct him.

And he never did ask for a hug, but Jisoo is still there.

Jeonghan takes a deep breath, placing the bottle at his side and leaning back into Jisoo’s shoulder, closing his eyes.

“I’m sorry snapped at you earlier.”

“I know,” Jisoo says (and Jeonghan doesn’t know, but he’s not he’s not smiling as he should be). Maybe, Jeonghan thinks, he looks too undone. And Jisoo won’t find it in himself to tease him.

Once again, Jeonghan is grateful.

“Apology accepted,” Jisoo comments, patting Jeonghan’s lower back gently and standing up. “Now you should go to bed. It’s late."

Jeonghan looks down, not really wanting to go back to his room all alone and dwell on this for any longer. But at the same time he knows he can’t keep staring at Seoul at night with a bottle of soju in hand because _come on_ , he needs to pull himself together.

“Come on,” Jisoo squeezes on his hand gently, tugging him towards him and signalling for him to stand up. “You’re not thinking I’m letting you sleep alone tonight, right? Off we go, we’re sleeping in my room.”

This time, Jeonghan looks up, eyes burning with unshed tears.

There’s a lot of things he wants to say, he wants to thank Jisoo, telling him he was right, that he doesn’t have anything under control, that he needs _help_ because he doesn’t know what to do.

The words won’t come out though, so he just extends his hand and lets Jisoo guide him towards the room.

Hoping Jisoo will know what he means by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm doing this, protect Jeonghan from me


	14. The vows

“You lied to him, didn’t you?“

Seungcheol pulls a face at Jihoon’s blatant accusation.

“I didn’t _lie_ , I’m working on the vows. I _swear.”_ He tries, but if his friend’s expression is anything to go by, he’s buying none of it.

Damn.

Jihoon can always see right through his shit.

That’s why he’s Seungcheol’s best friend after all.

“I just keep erasing and then rewriting them, that’s why I’ve got nothing right now—”

“That sounds like lying to me, hyung,” Soonyoung provides from the couch, where he’s scribbling down notes as he watches a choreography video on the TV.

 _Damn,_ there’s two of them now.

“Whose side are you, Soonyoung?” Seungcheol asks, with a pained look. He decides to chug the last of his can of coke, just because he doesn’t want to focus on the harsh reality.

Soonyoung _is_ rolling his eyes, Jihoon _is_ right about this and Seungcheol _hasn’t_ written the vows.

Truth is… Jeonghan has been asking him about the vows from the first week they started working together. And it’s not like Seungcheol is defending himself at this stage, but he really did try to write them!

He tried.

He sat down on his desk (both at work and at home) for hours in front of his laptop and he just… couldn’t.

Seungcheol didn’t find the right words, in fact, he didn’t find any words at all.

Although admitting that outloud would probably mean a lot of things Seungcheol doesn’t want to dwell on right now.

“You know how biased I am, hyung.” Soonyoung says with a smile, not even looking away from his screen and it manages to pull Seungcheol out of his thoughts.

Well… that’s fair, Seungcheol supposes, they are a couple after all.

“Everyone’s against me.” Seungcheol says anyway, dramatically. He hasn’t spent time with his friends in weeks and he really missed them. It makes his heart lighter just to be with them in the same room, sharing takeout and drinks.

Jihoon and Soonyoung roll his eyes at his whine and the interaction dissolves into playful banter between the three.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur.

They talk, they drink, they eat and they have a good time.

Seungcheol would call it a perfect day if it weren’t for the fact that he keeps thinking about the unwritten vows.

Why is it so hard on him? Why can’t he just think of Min and write something beautiful and meaningful?

Is there something wrong with him? Or maybe he’s just nervous… there’s only a few days to the wedding after all.

He’s not as nearly as talented as Jihoon, but he’s sure he can pull off wedding vows, it isn’t rocket science.

As he walks to the elevator, after saying goodbye to his friends, he feels a yank on his hoodie and he’s suddenly pulled back, he almost falls from the sudden movement and he turns, ready to fight whoever—

Jihoon.

“Hyung…” He starts, and Seungcheol’s scowl softens, because Jihoon _never_ uses that patient, almost condescending tone with him.

That usually means danger.

And for Jihoon to actually go look for him, just to talk this privately… it’s serious business.

“The way you talk about him.” Jihoon says, and there’s no need to say Jeonghan’s name, because they both know. Seungcheol starts to recognize his friend’s look as worry. “Is there anything...”

Seungcheol’s palms start to sweat as Jihoon falls silent.

“That I what?” He dares to ask, when the silence starts to make him anxious.

Jihoon takes a deep breath, as if bracing himself and Seungcheol’s heart starts beating faster, because what if Jihoon actually saw something at the party?

What if he saw them almost kiss?

Jihoon can see right through his bullshit and Seungcheol just _knows_ that tonight isn’t the exception.

But then why… why won’t Jihoon say anything?

“Nothing.”

Seungcheol parts his lips, wanting to ask, but decides to keep his mouth shut.

Maybe if Jihoon doesn’t want to ask, it’s for the best.

It’ll give Seungcheol time to try and figure it out himself.

***

Ten days.

Some people would say ten days are a lot.

Those people don’t plan weddings though.

Jeonghan stares at Seungcheol and Min-Young’s planner and finds himself mildly satisfied with the result of the wedding.

And that’s weird, because it is _such_ a beautiful wedding. One of his top three and he made it in half of the time he usually takes.

He should be proud.

He should be happy.

Usually he _does_ feel happier at this stage.

More involved, more stressed, but so much happier.

Jeonghan groans, leaving the planner next to him and falling back into the bed, hugging the first pillow he finds. Where’s his happiness? He needs it _right now,_  he needs a way to pull himself together, to go through the rest of this wedding without dissolving into crying in the process.

He’s being pathetic, isn’t he?

He buries his face into the soft fabric even more, the smell of vanilla hitting his nostrils right away.

Jeonghan _hates_ it, but he’s comfy on Jisoo’s bed and he doesn’t want to leave.

He’s probably cranky from the lack of sleep and the unrequited crush, but _still._

Work _always_ makes him happy, everyday, without a fail, no matter how exhausted or stressed he is. That’s why he stayed on his business even though most of his family and boyfriend (scratch that, ex-boyfriend) didn’t agree.

He _loves_ weddings, he really does.

Jeonghan lets out another sigh and blindly pats around until his hand lands on his phone.

Without his specs, the screen makes his eyes hurt, but he types Seungcheol a message anyway.

_How are you doing with the vows?_

Work doesn’t stop being there just because he’s having a bad day.

(Or rather, because he’s full of regrets and self pity today.)

He _knows_ that Seungcheol is lying about working on the vows. Mostly because he keeps squirming in his seat everytime Jeonghan asks and he’s so transparent about it, he’s clearly nervous.

So Jeonghan doesn’t expect a reply within the minute, but he gets one anyway.

 _I’m almost done!_ he gets, as soon as he opens the text. And then a series of emojis of encouragement and smiles and confetti.

He stares at the screen for a long time, not knowing what to feel.

Should he be grateful? Should he be happy? If Seungcheol decided to work on the vows it means he _finally_ got over his writer’s block.

That he finally sat down to think just how perfect Min-Young is to him and how happy they’ll be together…

Okay, wrong train of thought.

Jeonghan doesn’t answer the text and instead covers himself completely with his blankets, willing to nap until the world stops being against him.

(The world _doesn’t_ stop being against him, but he does get a full two hour nap, and he wakes up feeling only a little better.)

***

“I’ve got an idea.”

“No.”

“I’ve got an idea.” Seungcheol repeats, cheerfully.

“No.”

“Aw, come on, Jihoonie.”

“Okay, _definitely_ not.”

Soonyoung sighs, _loudly_ from the other side of the room, used to them bickering.

The thing is… after the other day, Seungcheol finds himself on his friends’ house, _again_. Because, just as he’s trying to say, he has an idea.

Seungcheol doesn’t understand _why not,_  it’s a great idea (and not just because he thought about it first).

Wanting to prove he actually means this, he raises a paper on his right hand, showing it proudly.

“This song.” Seungcheol says with an end tone.

“Leave _love letter_ alone.” He hears from the kitchen, where Jihoon is making himself _another_ bowl of rice, just after he finished the first one.

“You know, it’s kind of weird when you refer to your songs like that, it’s like… they were your kids.” Soonyoung says, thoughtfully as he chews a spoonful of rice.

Seungcheol looks down, a prominent pout showing on his features.

Just the other day as Jeonghan had asked him about the vows (again), he had gotten the perfect idea.

He didn’t need to write the vows just as they were supposed to be. He could always be creative and bring something else.

“What about your choreographies?” Jihoon finally drops on the couch, a bowl of rice precariously dancing in his hand. “Don’t you think the same?”

Soonyoung stops mid-chew and nods, solemnly.

“Good point, they are the fruits of my labor, I’d fight for them.” Seungcheol almost snorts.

They are ridiculous. Where did he get these friends again?

“Who would you fight?” Jihoon asks, with a fond smile.

“Anyone.” Soonyoung deadpans and they both laugh.

Seungcheol pulls a face, because they are kind of cute but that’s just _gross._

They’re like married already.

As he tries to think of how to convince Jihoon to let him use that _love letter_ song (it’s one of Jihoon’s first ballads, and Seungcheol adores the lyrics), his eyes catch a piece of paper lying on the coffee table. He glances at his friends, and notices they’re pretty busy eating, so he takes it, eyes immediately traveling to the text.

It’s a song.

His mouth parts as he reads the lyrics, feeling his chest tighten.

“Man, this is _really_ good.”  He blurts out when he’s done, and it catches both Jihoon and Soonyoung’s attention.

They quickly notice what has happened and Soonyoung grins as Jihoon lets out a sigh.

“Oh no.”

“It _is_ , isn’t it?” Soonyoung says enthusiastically, a contrast of Jihoon’s recent comment. “I keep telling him is the best ballad he’s ever written, but he just won’t listen.”

“You say that about _every_ song I write, Soonyoung. It has really lost its meaning by now.” Jihoon comments, with a small eye roll.

“Jihoonie, this is actually really good.” Seungcheol repeats, ignoring the bickering pair and notices the way Jihoon looks up from his eating and whispers.

“It’s not finished yet.”

Seungcheol knows that even though Jihoon actually is one of the best in the music industry, he’s genuinely humble, so he doesn’t push it.

“Can I use this one?” Seungcheol insists, with his puppy eyes, because he knows Jihoon can’t resist him for too long.

“Why don’t _you_ write something?” Jihoon asks, sounding a bit defeated. _Perfect_. “Wouldn’t that be easier?”

“But you’re a writer.” Seungcheol pouts, opting not to reply to that, because it isn’t easier.

Otherwise it’d be ready by now.

“A _songwriter.”_ Jihoon corrects.

“A producer.” Soonyoung adds, entirely missing the point.

“Still, you know more than me.” Seungcheol ignores the rest, eyes focused on Jihoon’s.

He’ll give in, any moment now.

_Please?_

Jihoon sighs, running a hand through his hair before replying.

“Sure, whatever, use that song.” Seungcheol positively throws himself at his best friend, hugging him tight.

Yes! This is exactly what he needed! One less thing to worry about.

He can call Jeonghan now and tell him he’s ready, and _oh,_  Jeonghan will be delighted! And he can—

“You sure this song is something to play at a wedding, hyung?” Soonyoung asks, popping Seungcheol’s bubble.

He wants to ask _why not_ , but some of the lyrics come to mind and he stops himself.

_Even if you get lost, and it takes you a while, come round and round back to me, even if it’s far ahead in the future._

It actually reminds him of…

“It’s a nice melody,” He says, catching on the scribbled paper, where Jihoon wrote the notes. He knows the basic to identify how it’d sound and he’s already a little giddy. “It’ll sound beautiful in piano. And even more magical being played by Jihoonie.”

He avoids Soonyoung’s question and his friend doesn’t push it, so he stares back at Jihoon, only a little questioningly.

He already said he could use it, but still…

Jihoon just sighs and waves a hand, which is his way of saying yes, and Seungcheol smiles proudly, because his idea did work after all.

He has the vows! He’s a genius.

***

“I’ve got the vows.” Seungcheol’s voice says over the phone and Jeonghan can’t hide his surprise.

Seungcheol had told him he had been working on them, but… he didn’t seem convinced when he did and Jeonghan had wondered if he really meant it.

Knowing that he is _done_ with it, Jeonghan can’t help but feel relieved.

Usually brides and grooms leave their vows to the last minute and Jeonghan hates to help with them, he never knows what to write.

He’s glad that Seungcheol has found a way through this.

“That’s wonderful,” He says and he means it (although he’s not sure about wanting to read them.)

There’s a small pause at the other side of the line and Jeonghan grows suspicious, but doesn’t say anything.

It’d be rude.

“It’s… a song, actually.” Seungcheol admits quietly, almost shyly. “I’m not writing anything.”

Jeonghan’s heart sinks at that and he doesn’t know exactly _why_.

He’s kind of disappointed, he was curious about what would Seungcheol write about Min-Young… considering he knows that the marriage was partially arranged by their parents and everything.

“I see,” Jeonghan comments, trying to keep his voice even. A few sentences he can tune out, but a full song? He’ll bawl his eyes out. He can’t possibly hear a whole song dedicated to Min-Young from Seungcheol. “You can send it over email or—”

“Actually,” Seungcheol interrupts, sounding more confident. “Can we meet?”

Jeonghan’s heart stops in his chest, all the memories from the party a few days back coming back to him.

Is Seungcheol going to fire him? Will he tell him that he made him uncomfortable? What if he’s mad? He didn’t sound mad before, but still… Jeonghan was too obvious, surely Seungcheol noticed _something_.

Oh God, what if—

He wished he could bring himself to calm down, but he can’t.

Jeonghan finishes the call, after writing down the address of the cafe they’re meeting at.

He had to agree in the end, because Seungcheol is still his boss (and he’s only a little curious about _why_ he wants to meet in person instead of just talking over the phone.)

***

The meeting goes smoothly.

Against all of Jeonghan’s expectations, Seungcheol ended up refusing to show him the song, saying that he’d rather for Jeonghan to hear it in private.

He doesn’t know what to think about that.

Why would a song be private? And if its meant to be played at the wedding, _everyone_ needs to hear it...

Still… them sharing a meal has become so achingly familiar that Jeonghan relaxes, picking on the vegetables of his plate as his eyes are afraid to meet with Seungcheol’s.

He’s only got a few days and he won’t be seeing him again.

Jeonghan knows he still likes him, his heart beats faster and his palms start to sweat and he gets all the butterflies in his stomach.

After the party they haven’t exactly talked and Jeonghan’s fingers are itching to reach out for Seungcheol’s hand, his lips wanting to press against Seungcheol’s cheek, just because he could—

But he _can’t,_ can he?

He can’t do it.

Seungcheol is marrying in seven days and Jeonghan is distraught.

He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to get over this.

Him.

_Seungcheol._

“We’re only a few days away, how are you feeling?” Jeonghan asks, because he really needs to distract himself and work always makes things less awkward around them.

He’s met with a look of surprise in Seungcheol’s features, and he laughs, looking a little uncomfortable.

“Amazing.” He says, tone clearly not matching his expression. He’s so transparent and Jeonghan finds it endearing.

Ah, he’s going to miss him. A lot.

Why is he lying though? Are things okay between him and Min-Young?

Jeonghan doesn’t dare to ask, so he changes the subject again, commenting on the music equipment for the wedding and the photoshoot due tomorrow, and then an hour has passed and they both find themselves standing in front of each other outside the café.

He has forgotten how they are roughly the same height and tonight of all nights they’re both bundled in their oversized coats, smiling shyly at each other.

Jeonghan almost swoons.

“Jeonghan, I...” Seungcheol starts, and he doesn’t miss the way his cheeks had gone read, hand reaching out towards him but not quite.

Jeonghan’s stomach churns with anxiety, but he doesn’t move.

A million of possibilities race in his head, what if Seungcheol calls off the wedding? What if he likes him too? Did he want to kiss him in the cake catering? And what about the party? 

He wishes his body would respond to his commands, but he can’t bring himself to do anything. He just stares, eyes glued to Seungcheol’s lips.

“Yes?” There’s a tremble in his voice (Seungcheol clearly misses it, and Jeonghan is glad).

If earth could swallow him whole right now it’d be great.

Seungcheol looks down, clearly struggling to find the words, Jeonghan’s heart is pounding so loudly that he can almost hear it over the chatter and noises coming from the café.

“Thank you for all your help, really.” Seungcheol says in the end, looking conflicted.

As if he’s not convinced.

Jeonghan’s smile fades a little, disappointment hitting him like a bucket of ice cold water.

Well… what else could he expect? They’re employer and employee, no more than that.

Of course Seungcheol would thank him for that, stupid of Jeonghan to think of anything else. He gives him a weak smile, bowing politely and deciding to leave.

He turns just in time to miss the way Seungcheol’s smile fades too.

As his eyes fix on the floor and starts to walk towards his car, Jeonghan regrets this.

Accepting _this_ wedding, getting feelings for Seungcheol, mixing romance and work, being _unprofessional_ , fighting over Seungcheol with _Jisoo_ of all people…

He won’t _ever_ forgive himself for causing this situation.

Jeonghan knows what he needs to do.

He just needs to stop, he can’t possibly have Seungcheol.

That’s it.

It’s simple.

Min-Young and Seungcheol will marry in seven days and Jeonghan will get over Seungcheol.

People do that all the time, they move on.

Jeonghan got over Woojin, and he thought that was the hardest thing he’d ever have to endure, but _this_ … he has noticed that _this_ doesn’t even come close.

Walking away from Seungcheol is definitely the worst thing he has ever done.

***

Seungcheol stands by and watches.

It isn’t the first time he feels conflicted, but he has never felt it so _strongly,_  it’s blinding and overwhelming and he can’t bring himself to go on like this.

Scenes from his various meetings with Jeonghan flash his mind and he almost staggers from the force of the revelation.

He doesn’t want to stop seeing Jeonghan.

And that’s… by itself that doesn’t mean anything, right?

He can still love Min and want to be with Jeonghan, right?

Perfectly normal.

He likes Jeonghan as a friend.

As a best friend if you will.

As he loves Jihoon. And Soonyoung. And the rest of the kids.

Seungcheol digs his nails into his palm so hard that he thinks that he might have drawn blood.

(He didn’t, but it still hurts.)

Jeonghan walks away, smoothly, looking elegant and Seungcheol wishes he could hold onto that image of him smiling at him at the café.

He tries hard for that mental image to stay, but he feels like it’s fading already.

What if after the wedding Jeonghan doesn’t want to see him anymore?

What if he’s just another client?

What if this is it?

Seungcheol feels sick at the idea.

 _Maybe_ , Seungcheol wonders, in any other life, _maybe_ he could’ve had him.

 _Maybe_ he’d have had a chance.

Jeonghan disappears from his view, without looking back at him.

Not in this life though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took too long, I'm really sorry! I was finishing my internship and things were pretty busy for me lately.  
> I hope you like this update <3  
> Also here's my twitter and curious cat (@Wish_us luck) in case you want to talk!


	15. The birthday

_September 27th._

When Jisoo opens the door to their apartment that night, he’s greeted with a _clean_ livingroom.

Spotless, free of scattered contracts and fabric samples.

He can’t help but sigh in relief, even though he understands Jeonghan’s way of working (he really does), at the same time, he hates messes with his soul.

Seven days before the wedding, Jeonghan has a ritual, since he has started the _wedding business_ as they sometimes call it, it consists on always clearing everything, under the premise that there’s _no more planning to do_.

Just worrying about the details.

And that also means clearing out his working space (livingroom).

When he creaks the bedroom door open, he finds Jeonghan napping over the covers.

In any other situation he’d have thought _lazy ass_ , but now… he’s relieved to see Jeonghan actually resting.

This wedding has taken a toll on him, in many ways.

As carefully and as silently as he can, Jisoo pulls out the blanket Jeonghan keeps at the end of his bed and drapes it over the sleeping form of his friend.

There’s a heat pack and a small lemon drops’ tin on Jeonghan’s night table, the sole survivors of his cleaning attack, and Jisoo narrows his eyes at that.

He thought Jeonghan hated hard candies.

He shrugs to himself and turns away to his bedroom, not waking to wake his friend.

It’s the last week before the wedding, Jeonghan will need as much rest as he can get.

***

_September 29th._

“I wish you weren’t leaving.”

The sound that leaves Min-Young’s lips is both a tut and a coo, as she reaches out to place her hand on Seungcheol’s cheek, caressing his cheekbone gently.

Seungcheol feels like a child whose mom is leaving for work… okay, weird comparison.

He’s just _sad_ that Min is leaving.

“I’ll be back for the wedding day, Cheol.” She says, placing a hand on his shoulder now, and Seungcheol feels himself blush, now a lot more self conscious about where they are.

Incheon. Min’s about to board to go a meeting in Jeju, her parents are making sure she has everything signed to take on the company herself.

She needs to be there, she needs to listen to her parents, she needs to take care of the paperwork, but Seungcheol still wants her to stay.

He hasn’t felt… right lately, and he hates the feeling of Min leaving him, because he’ll have even more time to dwell on things he doesn’t want to think.

It feels like the only bit of self preservation he has left is slipping away from him and suddenly he won’t know what to do.

It’s stupid and childish and Seungcheol doesn’t ever remember feeling like this before, but now he can’t help it.

“I’ll miss you too.“ Min-Young says, interrupting his thoughts, and Seungcheol looks up, a little surprised and a little taken aback at the sudden words.

Min always seems to know what he’s thinking.

He’ll miss her. But it’s a bit more than that.

Seungcheol only ducks his head on her shoulder, an apology about to tumble out from his lips.

 _Jeonghan made me think_ something _the other day_ , he wants to say _, I’m not sure about anything anymore_.

He feels Min wrapping her arms around his middle in comfort and he feels like crying.

_What if I feel something towards someone else?_

“Cheol, I need to leave.” Min whispers, but she doesn’t pull back, and neither does Seungcheol.

He knows the airport is full of noise, chattering around him, but right now he can only focus on the smell of Min’s scent, her cherry blossom perfume.

“Sorry,” He says, not missing the whine on his voice and this time Min does pull back, with a small laugh. “See you soon.” She squeezes Seungcheol’s hand and then she’s gone.

His heart is thrumming in his chest, and Seungcheol is invaded by the sudden urge to cry.

As he stands in the middle of the airport, surrounded by strangers, he feels suffocated by loneliness and confusion.

(Maybe a little of heartbreak too.)

The wedding is only a few days away, but Seungcheol doesn’t know what he’ll do until then.

***

_October 1st._

“Cake?”

“Check.”

“Suit and dress?”

“Check.”

“Photographer, flowers, banquet, venue.”

“All check.”

“Mm.”

Jisoo places a hand on his hip, looking down at Jeonghan typing on his laptop, his eyes glued to the screen.

“Music.” He adds and he sees Jeonghan’s expression shift, something akin to frustration appearing on his features. “Not check?” He offers kindly, with a small smile.

Jeonghan heaves a sigh.

He doesn’t reply to Jisoo, just pulls out his phone and settles down against the couch, searching through his audio files, Jisoo assumes.

Silence hangs between them and Jisoo focuses on Jeonghan.

Just three days to the wedding.

 _And_ Jeonghan’s birthday.

Jisoo still doesn’t understand why his friend decided to take on this project, considering he was just recovering from… well Woojin, in general, and because Jeonghan had never worked on his birthday before.

He’d always find a way to have at least that day free, visit his family in the morning and celebrating with his friends on the afternoon.

Something about this wedding (apart from the obvious crush on the groom) bugged Jisoo.

Sounds of a piano fill the room and Jisoo takes a moment to realize that Jeonghan was searching for the song for the wedding.

Jeonghan starts picking on the loose strands of the only cushion they keep on the couch and Jisoo tries to listen to the ballad.

Apparently everything else is ready but this? Which doesn’t make any sense, because it sounds like a beautiful song already.

That’s it, until the lyrics started to register.

This can’t be good.

He resists to make an opinion though, eyes traveling around the apartment instead of Jeonghan, still sprawled on the couch like a starfish.

He looks really unattractive like that (as much as unattractive Yoon Jeonghan can look anyway), but Jisoo knows that his friend doesn’t care.

They’ve been roommates for years now, they’ve seen worse of each other.

“What do you think about it?” Jeonghan asked, sounding disgruntled, for some reason.

So Jisoo plays along, just until Jeonghan can spit it out.

“It’s a beautiful song.” He says, with a smile. Jeonghan lets out a little grunt, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Does it work for the vows?”

A beat of silence.

“A lovely melody, nice lyrics.”

“Shua,” Jeonghan whines and Jisoo tries to relent. “That’s not what I’m asking.”

They both know the same thing.

It doesn’t, how could it ever?

But is Jeonghan ready to hear it? To deal with the consequences?

“This is like a goodbye song,” He comments, being honest, because Jeonghan might act like he doesn’t know it, but he does. His eyes stay glued to Jeonghan’s expression, how uncomfortable he looks, a bit like a deer caught in the headlights. “About lost love?”

“Why would he pick this?” Jisoo asks, mostly to himself.

It doesn’t make any sense.

This is a sad song, obviously about _love_ , but not about _being in love_ , as it should be.

Jeonghan purses his lips, he had been frowning in concentration before, as if he wanted to dissect the song note by note, but now he has gone thoughtful, almost as if he’s angry with himself.

And Jisoo faintly wonders if there’s something that Jeonghan isn’t telling him.

About that party, about that last coffee he had with Seungcheol.

Jeonghan takes a deep shuddering breath and stands up, walking past Jisoo and towards his room.

“Who knows.”

***

_October, 2nd._

**Wonwoo**

(8.23 PM) _You’re not replying to any of our messages or calls. should we get worried?_

**Seungcheol**

(8.46 PM) _Liar, you haven’t called anyone since 2010_

**Wonwoo**

(8.48 PM) _And you’re not replying to my question_

**Seungcheol**

(8.50 PM) _And you’ve never replied to my texts this fast ;(_

**Wonwoo**

(8.52 PM) _Hyung_ , _we just want to know how have you been. we know min-young isn’t around, want us to join you?_

**Seungcheol**

(8.55 PM) _I’m fine :)_

**Wonwoo**

(8.57 PM) _Your :) hasn’t fooled me since 2010. talk to jihoon hyung at least._

(10.15 PM) _He’ll understand_

**Seungcheol**

(10.29 PM) _Understand what?_

**Wonwoo**

(10.31 PM) _Whatever you want him to_

**Seungcheol**

(10.35 PM) _You’re so poetic, why didn’t you help with my vows???_

**Wonwoo**

(10.36 PM) _Hyung_

(10.40 PM) _Hyung..._

(10.51 PM) _Ok, my shift is ending in ten, i’m coming over_

**Seungcheol**

(10.52 PM) _No! Wait, ok, I’m fine. i’ve been working a lot, it’s fine_

(10.55 PM) _All is fine_

(10.57 PM) _Just nervous about the wedding I guess_

**Wonwoo**

(11.07 PM) _It’s okay to be nervous_

(11.12 PM) _Unless it’s about something else?_

**Seungcheol**

(0.05 AM) _I promise I’m ok, no smiley faces or anything_

(0.08 AM) _Don’t worry about me Wonwoo-yah_

**Wonwoo**

(0.09 AM) _You’ll let us know if you need anything?_

**Seungcheol**

(0.11 AM) _Ofc I will_

(0.12 AM) _Goodnight ♡_

**Wonwoo**

(0.15 AM) _… goodnight_

***

_October 3rd._

Jeonghan has never managed to sleep on the day before the wedding.

He just can’t.

He’s restless, phone ringing all day and his inbox full with emails about confirmations and arrival times to the venues, _The Plaza_ this time.

Today wasn’t any different.

He barely ate any lunch, too busy to make sure the flowers would be early enough to the wedding reception.

That’s just the _basics_ , come on, he’s never hiring that flower shop _again_.

But the piano and the music equipment are already set, the seat arrangement is perfect and all the tables and the ornaments look great.

(Jeonghan checked himself.)

So he allows himself to lie down on his bed, as early as ten pm.

Jisoo is in his shift in the hospital until tomorrow, having left the apartment around five.

Although he’s not here to remind Jeonghan to eat and rest, some of his friend’s words still ring in his head.

He kept asking him if he’d be okay, and Jeonghan kept saying he would be.

Deep down, Jeonghan knew that Jisoo could make someone else take his shift, stay with him at home.

But Jeonghan didn’t know if he wanted that.

Not because he didn’t enjoy Jisoo’s company or anything, it was just because when he was focused on his work, he liked to be a hundred percent _there_.

And this wasn’t just any job.

It was Seungcheol’s wedding.

Jeonghan knows he needs to finish this on his own.

Jisoo had still added _remember you promised to celebrate tomorrow, that’s still happening_.

As if Jeonghan didn’t know it was his birthday.

As if he didn’t know he needed a break.

Still, with his eyes closed, and everything _almost_ ready for tomorrow, Jeonghan still doesn’t manage to nap.

 _Okay, long day tomorrow_ , he says to himself, _you need to sleep_.

He’s counting on the forty third sheep when he feels his phone vibrating on his nightstand.

_What now._

If it’s about the damn flowers again, he’ll be pissed, how much can it take to do that one thing _right—_

When his eyes manage to stop hurting when he squints through the darkness, he catches the notification on his phone screen.

(11.12 PM) _Are you awake?_

Not a weird text, which _is_ weird though, is the sender.

Choi Seungcheol.

Jeonghan’s heart stops in his chest as he reads the text again and _again_ , hoping that he didn’t misunderstand.

Seungcheol is texting him.

At eleven pm.

The wedding is in less than twenty four hours and Seungcheol is asking him if he’s awake.

What is he planning? What does he _want_ from him? Why is he torturing Jeonghan like this?

His hands are clammy as he properly picks up his phone and just… stares.

 _Yes_ , he wants to reply, but more importantly he needs to know something else, _why are you asking me?_

Jeonghan already knows they’ve surpassed all the boundaries between employer and employee, but isn’t this a bit _much_?

 _Thank you for all your help,_ that’s what Seungcheol had said.

And Jeonghan thought it sounded a lot like a goodbye, which was just fine with him, because as soon as the wedding came, as Seungcheol would be worrying about saying _yes_ and Jeonghan would be making sure that there were enough napkins on the tables.

That was just the way it went.

Their ways would naturally drift apart and Jeonghan was trying to make up his mind around it.

At least he thought it’d be easier to get over Seungcheol like that…

His phone chirps again and Jeonghan frowns at it, confusion written all over his face.

(11.20 PM) _Can we meet?_

Hell _no_.

Why would they even meet? If Seungcheol wanted to talk, he has his friends.

He didn’t even reply to the first text, why would Seungcheol just assume he was awake _and_ willing to meet? Of course Jeonghan wouldn’t.

What if it’s important though? What if it’s _urgent_? What if he’s second guessing about the wedding? Or what if it’s about Jeonghan?

His fingers hover over the screen.

Jeonghan can actually feel his resolve breaking when he replies. He doesn’t know _why_ , but he sends back not an actual message, only his address.

Seungcheol has never come to his apartment.

Maybe it’s a decision that he’ll regret later (tomorrow), _however_ he doesn’t think he’ll be able to go on if he misses this opportunity.

Curiosity killed the cat, but Jeonghan is willing to get hurt today if it means seeing Seungcheol a little more.

Tomorrow will be over anyway, right?

***

When Seungcheol arrives to Jeonghan’s apartment, it’s already October 4th (just barely).

Seungcheol had stood there for a full minute, wondering _why_ he was doing this.

He had been alone in his room, thinking about taking Wonwoo’s advice and maybe talk to one of his friends.

Talk it through, he thought… but talk _what_ through?

What was he thinking?

Truth is, he isn’t sure.

He isn’t sure what brought him here, but he just wanted… not to be alone right now and figured that being with the only person he’s been sharing these last three months would help.

That’s why Jeonghan and not anyone else.

Now _why_ he stopped by the nearest seven eleven and bought four bottles of soju, that… he still doesn’t know yet.

Maybe because when they were at his party, _something_ changed between them and Seungcheol wants to know a little more, he wants to have an honest conversation with Jeonghan, he wants…

Honestly, he just wants to _see_ him.

And see him he does.

Jeonghan stands by his doorway with a loose shirt on him, and his pajama pants on. He didn’t look like he had been sleeping though, his hair perfectly put together.

It makes something warm spread through Seungcheol’s chest, he looks so soft like this, and it speeds up his pulse.

“Hi,” He says, when Jeonghan doesn’t speak, his throat has suddenly go dry and Seungcheol fights the urge to leave and go back to his apartment. He’s too nervous. “I, um… Sorry I texted.” Seungcheol adds, scratching the back of his head, looking uncomfortable, because he _is_. Suddenly this doesn’t seem like a good idea anymore and Seungcheol faintly remembers that he actually dreamed with Jeonghan, not only that, they were kissing then—

Wrong train of thought.

“What are you doing here, Seungcheol?” Jeonghan asks, arms crossed against his chest. He doesn’t sound accusatory or anything, just curious, intrigued.

That’s what Seungcheol wants to know too.

“I couldn’t sleep and figured you couldn’t either…” He starts, unsure. “I brought… um, some soju, if you want?”

He lifts the bag, the bottles clinking inside and Jeonghan looks like he’s thinking it through.

It looks like against literally _all_ of his better judgement and self preservation, Jeonghan accepts.

Seungcheol just gives him a sheepish smile and gets inside.

***

It’s around two when things start to get dangerous.

The conversation had gone easily between work and friendships and funny college stories, Jeonghan was reminded of how _easy_ was to talk to Seungcheol and Seungcheol just kept thinking how much he’d miss him.

“Today’s the big day, huh?” Jeonghan comments, they sitting right in front of each other, and Seungcheol can’t stop looking at Jeonghan’s rosy cheeks, his hooded gaze, the way his movements seem less elegant.

It’s mesmerizing and everything about Jeonghan, Seungcheol wants to know more.

The reminder is still there though, in a few hours, Min will come back from Jeju, she’ll go to _The Plaza_ , put on his dress, and they’ll get married.

“Yes.” He replies, taking a gulp from his cup, they already finished their four bottles of soju and Jeonghan had pulled another one from his fridge, and it’s intimate, the way they pour into each other cups, giggling when they spill a little.

Jeonghan licks his lips from time to time, leaning his elbow on the table to support himself, he’s more than tipsy, even more than the last time.

He should stop, he really should, and he’s _trying_ , but he can’t.

Seungcheol looks thoughtful, they both are, probably wondering _what_ are they doing here, what game are they playing.

“We should make a toast.” Jeonghan offers, nodding to himself, and Seungcheol can’t help but raise his glass, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. “Cheers on your wedding day, Choi Seungcheol.” Jeonghan offers, somehow bitterly, and although his glass is up, his head lolls between his shoulders.

Seungcheol blinks at him, suddenly a lot sober than before.

He takes a second to register that Jeonghan’s fingers are trembling and it’s the room’s temperature turned down a notch.

Why is Jeonghan _sad_?

Seungcheol’s eyes sting with tears and he looks down to stop them as well, but why are they _both_ sad now? It doesn’t make any sense, they should be celebrating that this is finally over, it was so stressful and it involved a lot of planning and money and time and _sacrifice_ …

The sound of a sob breaks the silence in the room and Seungcheol is out of this seat in a second, rushing to kneel in front of Jeonghan. He gingerly holds his glass and places it down on the table, and Jeonghan lets him.

By now, Seungcheol’s heart threatening to burst from his chest, and he wraps his fingers around Jeonghan’s wrist, gently holding him.

“Jeonghan,” He whispers, and he can’t help but notice the way his whole body is shaking. “Are you okay?”

Jeonghan actually _laughs_ at that and looks like he’s about to reach to wipe at his tears, but instead he just gives up on it, looking down at his lap.

He hasn’t pulled Seungcheol away, and Jeonghan doesn’t think that they’ve ever been this close.

They can practically breathe each other in, the smell of soju prominent on both of their breaths as Seungcheol speaks next.

“Why are you crying? Did something go wrong? Is it because of the planning? We can make it better, don’t cry.”

Warmth fills his chest as Seungcheol asks that, he’s so sweet, Jeonghan doesn’t think he’ll be able to take this anymore.

He shouldn’t have said _yes_ , he shouldn’t have replied to the text, he shouldn’t have _accepted_ this wedding, he—

“It’s just…” Jeonghan mutters, and his voice breaks, Seungcheol’s hold gets a little tighter.

_I like you._

He looks at Seungcheol, his eyes big and full of worry and affection.

_I think I may even lo—_

“It’s my birthday today.” Jeonghan blurts out instead, because he can’t possibly say the other thing.

He can’t confess.

Seungcheol blinks up at him, he tilts his chin gently, and if Jeonghan thought that if he could stop crying before, he won’t be able to now, because _this_ ends tonight. Seungcheol being gentle and caring and romantic, Seungcheol knowing his coffee order and accompanying him during car rides.

Jeonghan finally dares to look at him, he knows how he looks, his nose is all snotty and his cheeks are red and puffy, and he can see Seungcheol focus on his lips for a lingering moment.

Jeonghan wants him so badly.

His breathes hitches.

Maybe Seungcheol knows what he’s thinking?

“Jeonghan, I—” He starts, fingers sliding down Jeonghan’s wrists, sending electricity down his spine.

Jeonghan parts his lips against the sudden sensation, pulling back enough to… enough to stop feeling drowned by Seungcheol.

“We can’t.” Jeonghan says, amazed at how _firm_ he sounds, because he doesn’t feel like that at all. “This is the end of the road for us, isn’t it?” 

Seungcheol just stares at him, lips slightly parted, he didn’t… that’s not what he expected to hear at all, but… if that’s what Jeonghan wants, then…

 _Wait_ , are they both talking about the same thing? This conversation is so weird, they’re not saying anything outloud and Seungcheol thinks that maybe they _should_ talk this properly, because Jeonghan looks so _undone_ and Seungcheol is so _exhausted_ and confused and—

“I think you should leave.” Jeonghan whispers and Seungcheol’s heart breaks a little.

_This is the end of the road for us, isn’t it?_

He wants to know what that means, because it doesn’t sound like a _no_ , and maybe it means that there’s a possibility that…

“Please.” Jeonghan begs, his voice breaking again and Seungcheol slowly lets go of the hold he has on his wrist.

Okay then.

He stands up in silence and leaves.

***

When Seungcheol arrives to his apartment, it’s past three in the morning.

He had been anxious the whole way there, his mind filled with Jeonghan and Jeonghan only.

His hands tremble, his ears are buzzing, he can’t breathe properly, he can’t think—

Seungcheol forces himself to think about the wedding.

To think about Min and her beautiful smile when she wakes up, her gentle displays of affection, the way she _always_ supports him, how she always defends him…

 _Why are you staring at me like that?_ Jeonghan had asked him during the party, all flushed cheeks and pink lips.

He doesn’t know _why_ , because he admires him, because he looks beautiful when he talks about work, because he’s endeared by his confidence, because he’s comfortable when they’re together, because…

Seungcheol stumbles to the bathroom and splashes cold water on his face.

 _Damn_.

He’s getting married. Only a few hours away.

He should try the suit.

He should, right?

There’s nothing more telling than that, he’ll see himself in the suit, he’ll imagine himself marrying with Min.

All his doubts will fade away.

With clumsy hands he manages to undress himself and he founds his suit hanging on the closet door.

It’s a beautiful suit, and Seungcheol keeps lying to himself, thinking that he didn’t choose it because the way Jeonghan looked at him as he wore it.

He pulls it on and walks towards the mirror.

Just him.

In a suit, looking disheveled, traces of tears on his cheeks.

Did he _cry_ in Jeonghan’s apartment? It was just an hour ago, but it feels so blurry and unreal and Seungcheol is confused about what really happened.

Jeonghan had cried, but why did he?

_It’s my birthday today._

Seungcheol knows that he had wanted to say something else… but _what_?

And what does he feel towards Jeonghan?

Sure, they’ve become friends. More than friends.

He also wanted to kiss him.

Like three times.

He’s attracted to him.

Maybe _possibly_ he _likes_ Yoon Jeonghan.

But besides the flirting (which Seungcheol is almost sure is a trait of his personality) there’s no indication that Jeonghan might like him back. He seems to enjoy the time they spend together and they have formed a nice friendship.

Since day one, why can’t he stop thinking about him?

_Sometimes, with things like these, you’ll just know._

Back then, Jeonghan had meant the venue, Seungcheol kept second guessing, but Jeonghan’s words had made so much sense.

_You’ll just know._

He knows.

He just… he can’t imagine a scenario where he goes with this suit and marries Min in a few hours.

All of the sudden it feels so _wrong_.

Jeonghan’s words play in his head as he takes off his suit, slipping on the first items he finds to get out, turns out it’s his ripped black jeans and his favorite hoodie.

He needs to see Jeonghan.

He knows it’s like four am by now and Jeonghan’ll probably refuse to see him, but he _needs_ to see him. His heart is pounding in his chest, the realization of three months hitting him hard, finally all those moments with Jeonghan make sense. 

Of _course_ he likes him.

But he’s getting married.

He needs to be sure. He wants to know if Jeonghan feels the same.

It _looks_ like he does, but what if he doesn’t?

He’ll know when he sees him. He almost stumbles when he puts on his shoes, pocketing his phone.

Seungcheol will just know.


	16. The wedding

Jeonghan wakes up at the sound of knocking.

He hadn’t noticed he had dozed off and he’s sure his alarm didn’t wake him up, so it _has_ to be earlier than seven am.

Who the hell knocks on people’s houses _before_ seven am?

He blinks away his sleep and starts to take notice of his surroundings.

He’s not in his bed.

Seungcheol came over. They drank soju. He told him it was his birthday…

Oh God, did he _cry_?

That’s hitting a new low.

He must have fallen asleep on the couch after he told Seungcheol to leave.

His eyes land on his phone, lying under an empty bottle of soju, and he clicks his tongue, trying to kick his mind into gear.

It’s almost five am.  

Another knock at the door, more urgent this time, pulls him out of his thoughts.

Right.

It shouldn’t be Jisoo, Jeonghan’s brain hopefully provides, since he has his own keys.

But who else? And _why_?

He absently fixes his hair as he makes it to the door, he never did change from his pajamas, but it doesn’t matter. It’s freaking five am, what the _hell?_

The building better be burning.

(Not really).

“Okay. I’m coming,” He says, unenthusiastically, he’s exhausted, maybe he could squeeze a few more hours of sleep before the wedding, but it’s not like being in the wedding today is going to be easy anyway, so—

As soon as he opens the door, he’s greeted with the view of none other than Choi Seungcheol.

 _Damn_.

It shouldn’t surprise him, after the way he told him to go… it might have crossed his mind that he’d come back, but he discarded that thought right away.

There was no way Seungcheol would be so bold.

So _stupid_.

Jeonghan thought it was obvious, that _this_ , _them_ , it’s a thing that _can’t_ happen.

Won’t happen.

Shouldn’t happen.

The way Seungcheol stands on his doorway though, clothes disheveled, hair standing in all the wrong places, cheeks _flushed_ from exertion and expression…

He can’t possibly read Seungcheol’s expression right now.

And Seungcheol must catch his confusion, because he immediately lifts a shopping bag, as a form of explanation.

“I brought you cake.” Seungcheol blurts out, like it’s urgent.

Jeonghan blinks up at him, is he dreaming? Did he really drink _that_ much?

What the _hell?_

 _I brought you cake_ , what kind of a line is _that_?

Seungcheol must caught Jeonghan’s incredulous expression (again) and he rushes to explain, looking alarmed.

“I just… I didn’t know which flavor did you like, which is stupid, because we did go to that catering, but for some reason I can’t remember anything besides—”

As if Jeonghan could ever forget _that_ cake catering.

“Seungcheol.” Jeonghan starts, taken aback, _confused_ , his whole head is pounding and he knows that the soju and the lack of sleep aren’t the only ones to blame.

What is Seungcheol _doing_ here? What does he _wants_?

He took _everything_ from Jeonghan, what _else_ does he —

Seungcheol strode inside and in a matter of seconds, the door had closed behind them with a loud click and Jeonghan found himself standing in the middle of the hallway, mouth slightly agape.

Someone’s breathing hard, the sound echoing the empty room, but right now Jeonghan couldn’t identify _who_.

Seungcheol slowly put down the shopping bag, looking determined, in a way Jeonghan had never seen him before.

He could never make up his mind, he was always hesitating, he had the hardest time voicing out his opi—

His breath hitches in his throat.

“Besides what?” Jeonghan asks, amazed by how collected he actually sounds.

He feels _undone_ , the anticipation killing him.

What. Is. Seungcheol. Doing. Here.

Seungcheol licks his lips, eyes not leaving Jeonghan’s as he announces the next words.

“Besides how much I wanted you to kiss me.”

Seungcheol takes another decisive step closer, and Jeonghan freezes in his spot, a deer caught in the headlights.

Maybe it’s a bluff, maybe he _wants_ Jeonghan to say he likes him to…

“And how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Suddenly it dawns to Jeonghan how _close_ Seungcheol is.

They’re roughly the same height and Jeonghan can’t think, can’t hear anything besides the thrumming in his ears.

Seungcheol wanted to kiss him too.

Seungcheol _likes_ him.

But they can’t, they _can’t_ , they _shouldn’t_ , they—

A soft hand reaches towards his cheek and Jeonghan’s eyes meet with Seungcheol’s, his cheeks are burning and Seungcheol isn’t helping one bit.

No one in his whole life has _ever_ stared at him like that.

His heart skips a beat.

“Seungcheol.” He whispers, he _warns_ , noticing they’re so close that his warm breath hit Seungcheol’s lips as he speaks. “What are you, what are we—”

Seungcheol steps even _closer,_ his knee between Jeonghan’s parted legs, his hand supporting his weight against the wall, and he stills cups his face.

Like he’s the most delicate thing.

Seungcheol’s thumb gently caresses his skin and Jeonghan wants to close his eyes, but he can’t.

Actually, he can’t move, his body simply won’t respond.

God, _please._

And Seungcheol presses him against the wall and they’re touching _everywhere_ now and Jeonghan can’t take this, not after everything, not —

Jeonghan can feel Seungcheol shifting against him, molding their bodies together, how Seungcheol buries his head on the crook of Jeonghan’s neck.

They fit so nicely together.

Like they’re meant to be, and Jeonghan allows himself a moment of weakness and reaches out to hold the back of Seungcheol’s neck, caressing his hair there.

And by the way Seungcheol shivers, Jeonghan figures that his warm breath is tickling his nape.

They only hugged once, that time when Jeonghan showed him _The Plaza_ and Seungcheol looked so happy —

Jeonghan bites on his lower lip _hard_ , when he feels the softest yet most urgent press of lips against his clothed collarbone and then it’s gone in a second. They’re _so_ close, he can even feel Seungcheol’s shaky intake of air.

He squeezes the back of Seungcheol’s neck and let out a hiss through his gritted teeth.

Please, please, _please_.

“ _Seungcheol_.”

And then all contact is gone in a second, and Jeonghan feels hit with a sudden wave of disappointment and a rush of cold air.

He can barely breathe as he stares at Seungcheol.

He doesn’t know _what_ pulled him back, but he knows that maybe it was necessary, he isn’t sure he had been able to stop.

“I… I can’t do this to Min.” Seungcheol says, loud enough for him to hear.

Jeonghan doesn’t feel disappointed, in fact, he might be even a little relieved, this is just what he imagined happening, and now he was right, Seungcheol will go on and Jeonghan will have to too, it’s a mistake falling for the groom to be, even if this is the most intense feeling he has ever had for someone.

Even if he _longs_ for Seungcheol’s touch.

Maybe, this is for the best.

It has to be.

“I understand.” Jeonghan mumbles, leaning his head back against the wall, needing to support himself on _something_.

His head is spinning.

Seungcheol’s back hits the kitchen counter as he pulls back, he looks constricted and honestly? Jeonghan feels the same.

He runs a hand through his sweaty hair and when his eyes meet Jeonghan’s again, his chest fills with a sense of dread.

Maybe he misunderstood the message, maybe he…

“I’ve got to cancel this.”

***

The wedding is getting cancelled.

Seungcheol just went to his apartment at _five_ am and confessed to him.

 _Jeonghan’s_ the reason why this wedding is getting cancelled.

He buries his head in his hands and tries not to laugh at his own misfortune.

His work.

It must look stupid, the way he’s thinking of that right now.

Just when Seungcheol is _there_ , within reach, ready for Jeonghan to kiss, to _take_ , but he can’t help but think about his _work_.

He worked _so_ hard.

He’s proud of how this wedding is supposed to work out, he wants to see it _thrive_.

And yes, he wanted Seungcheol… he _wants_ him, he doesn’t think he has ever liked someones as much as he likes Seungcheol, but…

How does he do this? How is he going to wake up in the morning and look himself in the mirror and just… _be_ the person who ruined someone’s wedding?

He feels conflicted, his vision blurry around the edges as he pulls at his hair.

This is what he _does_ , making people happy, making their wedding day the _happiest_ and now here he is, getting his happy ending in exchange of Min-Young’s.

Is it fair?

Can he actually _do_ this?

He never thought he’d get this, for weeks it was a crush, a lost cause, but now that he _has_ it, it’s just so surreal, he might —

“I…” Seungcheol’s voice is calm, almost too _calm_ and Jeonghan wants to kick him out of his apartment, only to lock himself in his room.

He needs to _think_.

The wedding is in a few hours, he can’t imagine going to _The Plaza_ , cancel on all the guests, look at Min-Young in the eye and—

 _the thing is_ , she had said _, I’m glad he’s got you_.

He feels so _selfish_.

Worrying about his own happiness and work when Seungcheol _and_ Min-Young’s happiness are in the line.

What would make Seungcheol happy? Is it really him?

And how about Min-Young? What will happen to her if they cancel this?  

“I think I’ll… go to the hotel, Min should arrive in a few hours and I’ll-” Seungcheol whispers, although it seems like he’s talking to himself.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this.” Jeonghan says, not missing the accusatory tone in his voice. And he hates himself a little for it. “Cancelling the wedding and—”

“What do you want me to do, Jeonghan?” Seungcheol asks, punctuating every word as he looks at him, and it should sound sarcastic or hurtful, but there’s so much vulnerability in his voice, on his expression that Jeonghan decides to shut up.

What is Jeonghan even _mad_ about? What does he _wants_?

Seungcheol likes _him_.

Of course the next step would involve cancelling the wedding.

Then why does it feel so _wrong_ just to accept this? Even if he wanted this for so long.

“I… I want you to do this for _you_ ,” Jeonghan whispers, just realizing it as he speaks. “I just need to know that if… if it weren’t for me, Seungcheol, would you still want to marry Min-Young?”

Seungcheol closes his mouth.

Maybe it wouldn’t make a difference, but for Jeonghan it does.

He doesn’t know if he can live knowing he just destroyed someone’s wedding.

His work, his life will fall apart and he can’t possibly put himself together after that.

“I know I like you,” Jeonghan confesses, tone vulnerable and raw with unrestrained emotion. “I _adore_ you.”

Seungcheol’s eyes fill with tears and Jeonghan’s chest aches, but he needs to continue.

“But… if you do this, then it isn’t for me… I don’t want it to be _for_ me, Cheol.” Jeonghan admits, eyes glazing over with unshed tears. “I only want what’s best for you and Min-Young… I don’t want you to do this to Min-Young because of _me_.”

He’s not that selfish, he couldn’t live with the guilt.

“I just don’t want to be an excuse for you to break this up.” Jeonghan mumbles and Seungcheol looks like he wants to reach out, comfort him, tell him _you aren’t, I like you_ , but he stays there, frozen.

Jeonghan prefers it that way.

“Just… think about what you want to do.”

***

Jeonghan closes the door behind him.

Suddenly he’s extremely _aware_ of everything that is happening.

His heart is hammering in his chest, and he knows that technically he’s too young and healthy to be having a heart attack, but it still feels that way, as soon as he stumbles into his bedroom, he sits on the bed, holding his chest.

He can’t _breathe_ , knowing he likes Seungcheol is one thing.

Knowing Seungcheol likes him back is another altogether.

Knowing that the wedding he worked so _hard_ for might be cancelled as well it’s just…

Too much.

His stomach keeps churning uncomfortably and he doubles over, head between his legs.

He feels like passing out.

What is he supposed to do? Say _yes_ to Seungcheol? Kiss him? Let everything just _happen_ the way he wants to?

It’d be easier, it’d be so easy to succumb to that urge, to forget about responsibilities and other people’s expectations, but…

It’s not _that_ easy, is it?

He can’t imagine neither of the outcomes to this… in one scenery, Seungcheol gets married, _after_ he confessed to Jeonghan, and he has to look at Min-Young in the aisle after they almost kissed… and in the other one, Seungcheol _doesn’t_ get married, the wedding gets _cancelled_ , his work to the _trash_ and… and maybe they end up together?

As Jeonghan hears Seungcheol pacing in the next room, he has no idea what will happen.

Maybe Seungcheol will change his mind.

He gave him an out.

Maybe Seungcheol will realize that he didn’t even like him that much and he isn’t worthy of…

No.

He doesn’t think like that anymore.

Jeonghan would really like to talk to Jisoo right now.

He needs someone to help, to ground him.

 _You flirted with him for_ weeks _and now you worry about consequences?_ a little voice inside his head says. _Now you worry about Seungcheol’s and Min-young’s happiness?_

He's lying to himself.

He knows what he wants he just _wishes_ he didn’t.

He wants Seungcheol to pick him, he wants to be with him, he might have lied… one part of him definitely wants Seungcheol and Min-young to be happy even if he isn’t, but the other part…

The other part wishes that Seungcheol would pick him.

And Jeonghan wished he could be a little selfish right now.

***

After an hour, Seungcheol knocks on Jeonghan’s bedroom door.

They don’t say a word as they reunite again on the livingroom, sitting in front of each other.

Jeonghan has cooled off by now, he’s calmer, he’ll know what to do.

If Seungcheol says he wants to continue with the wedding, he’ll get over it, put on his big boys pants and move on.

It’ll be hard, but he’ll make it.

He _has_ to make it.

If Seungcheol says he doesn’t want to continue with the wedding, he’ll be a professional, he’ll deal with everything, he’ll be patient and he’ll say sorry to Min-Young and he’ll—

“I’m not doing it.” Seungcheol says and Jeonghan’s heart still skips a beat, even if he thought about it for a whole hour.

Even if it was supposed to be obvious after what happened in the entrance of the apartment, just a while ago.

“I’m not going to get married.” Seungcheol repeats and Jeonghan doesn’t speak.

Okay.

This is actually happening.

The wedding is off.

There’s so much to do, Jeonghan can’t malfunction right now.

Feelings aside, he must help Seungcheol do this in the most quiet, private way.

“Have you planned… how to tell her?” Jeonghan asks, because surely Seungcheol must have, considering all the time he spent pacing in the livingroom.

“I guess I’ll... “ Seungcheol starts, looking unsure. “She’s in the airport right now, I think I should wait until—”

“Seungcheol, it’s late already.” Jeonghan pressed, feeling the tiniest bit exasperated. He’s exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and after the adrenaline rush, he just feels even more drained. “If you’re going to do this, then it has to be now.”

They can’t just enter the wedding reception and say _oh, hey, we’re not doing this anymore_.

“Do you think this is easy for me?” Seungcheol asks, and Jeonghan closes his mouth, taken aback at his harsh tone. He doesn’t sound mean, or hurtful, just… exhausted.

Just as Jeonghan feels.

“I never thought about getting married like this, but everything is so—” Seungcheol dissolves back into the couch and buries his head in his hands, just like Jeonghan had done a moment ago. “I’m not sure about anything anymore,” He whispers, brokenly. “I just know that… I like you, so _much_ , it just… hurts me to think that I realized just now.”

A knot starts to form in Jeonghan’s throat and he wishes he could take back what he just said.

Of course this isn’t easy for Seungcheol.

He loves Min-Young.

Even if sometimes it seemed more platonic than romantic, he still loves her and Jeonghan won’t _ever_ forget that.

Seungcheol isn’t leaving a bad person, she wasn’t. Not at all.

Jeonghan isn’t _saving_ Seungcheol from someone that might hurt him or abuse him in any way.

The fact that Min-Young is a person that Seungcheol cherishes, is the reason why Jeonghan wants to be careful.

The most careful they can be.

He wanted to convey that to Seungcheol, but he totally missed his point… now he has hurt him.

“It’s not fair to Min if I marry her and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her. And it’s not… I,” Seungcheol bites on his lower lip. “I want to be happy too… doing this wedding, that won’t… I don’t think it’ll make me happy.”

Jeonghan’s heart aches for him and he stands up, sitting next to him.

“I don’t think it’ll make _anyone_ happy.” Seungcheol admits quietly. “Only our parents…”

Jeonghan takes a deep breath.

He shouldn’t have treated him like that.

If Seungcheol is to blame, then Jeonghan is too.

“It’s not your fault that I’m stopping this wedding, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol whispers, looking down. “But… I would be lying if I said you had nothing to do with it… you made me realize how unhappy I was, how happy I could be. Just seeing you smile…” He trails off and Jeonghan’s cheeks are burning again.

“It’s not your fault,” He repeats. “But it’s definitely because of you.”

Jeonghan’s heart is hammering in his chest, and he suddenly feels like crying, he wants him too.

So badly.

“Can you _please_ ,” Seungcheol extends a hand, eyes wet as he finally looks up at him. “Please join me… just until we get to the hotel?”

Jeonghan’s expression softens.

“Of course I will.”

***

It’s almost nine am when they leave the apartment.

They both took showers, ate something quick and Jeonghan lent Seungcheol his biggest shirt and hoodie. Neither of them wanted to look like a sleep deprived mess.

They’re both more collected now.

Jeonghan only starts to feel anxious when they’re both in the car, about to leave for the hotel, and he starts getting texts.

_The food will be there at six._

_The flowers arrived at The Plaza._

_Jeonghan-ssi_ , _we’re expecting you with the music equipment at —_

A tug in his hand pulls him out of thoughts.

“Everything will be okay.” Seungcheol says, smiling warmly. His hair is damp and Jeonghan’s heart skips a beat at how _soft_ he looks, wearing his clothes, reaching out to him like that.

Suddenly it dawns him how _young_ Seungcheol looks, and his hearts aches a little for him.

They’re the same age, but Jeonghan always felt a little more mature, more independent than Seungcheol.

Time passed and Jeonghan realized, maybe Seungcheol didn’t like feeling independent, he always seeked reassurances and he was clearly used to let others take the lead.

And Jeonghan found out he liked to be there for him as well.

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” He smiled a little at him, intertwining their fingers.

He was suddenly thrilled that he was able to.

His life would be like this after today, he’d get to touch Seungcheol, and kiss him, all that pent up energy and frustration… he didn’t need that anymore.

He could tease with him, he could _flirt_ with him now.

They liked each other.

“Well, yeah, but you looked you were about to cry so I doubt you’ll- _ow_ , okay _.”_ Jeonghan draws his hands after smacking Seungcheol’s chest, a fond smile on his lips.

He wasn’t about to _cry_ , he was just overwhelmed.

He needs to call people.

Hotel staff, and the food company, and the bakery.

But only after things are done with Min-Young.

Just after that.

He needs to prepare to talk to strangers and coworkers, but Seungcheol… he needs to prepare to talk to Min-Young.

That’s got to be harder.

“ _Cheol_.” Jeonghan cups his face, thumbs caressing Seungcheol’s cheekbones adoringly.

Seungcheol looks surprised, but he melts into his touch immediately, relaxing.

Jeonghan had never touched him first.

He was always on the receiving end of the affection.

Seungcheol bought him food, gave him those lemon drops when he got sick, gave him hot packs, even lent him his coat once.

Seungcheol leans in, basking in the warmth Jeonghan exudes.

Jeonghan’s breath picks up speed, he wants to kiss him on the lips, there’s nothing he wants to do more, but he knows why Seungcheol stopped and he respects that.

Nothing will happen until Seungcheol tells Min-Young the truth.

They owe her that.  

He catches the way Seungcheol’s shoulders relax, exhaling slowly, eyelids drooping as well, and Jeonghan (not for the first time) can’t help but notice how long are his eyelashes and how they _nicely_ they frame his face. He’s handsome in an unconventional way and Jeonghan is endeared. He pulls his right hand away while he keeps caressing with the left one and he leans in, placing a kiss on Seungcheol’s warm cheek.

Seungcheol sighs happily, leaning into Jeonghan’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his slim waist. It’s awkward in this position, but he can’t bring himself to pull back, not when he hasn’t felt this happy in years. Not when Seungcheol’s fingertips will probably leave bruises by how hard he’s pulling him in, not when he’s breathing hard in the crook of Jeonghan’s neck, trying to calm down, not when he’s whispering intelligible words against his skin.

Jeonghan keeps caressing the back of Seungcheol’s neck, idly playing with his hair there. He feels a bit feverish from the turned on AC and the proximity of their bodies against each other only adds to it, but he hugs him back impossibly tighter.

Not any moment of his life has ever felt this real.

He wants to show he’ll be there for him after everything happens and he hopes he can convey it in this hug.

“Everything will be okay.” Jeonghan mumbles, caressing Seungcheol’s hair, long enough until he feels him sag against his hold. “I promise.”

***

The arrival to _The Plaza_ comes in a rush.

After leaving Jeonghan’s apartment, they barely talked, Jeonghan answering a few texts and Seungcheol busying himself with driving.

The parking lot is almost full, but it isn’t packed, a thing both of them appreciate.

It’s not like it matters right now, but if someone saw them arriving together, they might talk.

And as soon as Jeonghan opens the door, he hears footsteps rushing their way.

His brain is already conjuring the best explanation as to why they’re both here together at nine am (when wedding preparations starts at twelve), when he recognizes the two silhouettes.

Oh.

He doesn’t know if it’s good or bad.

“Guys,” Seungcheol manages to say and the taller one pulls him into a hug, the tiny one, Jihoon, Seungcheol’s best man, stares right at Jeonghan.

He doesn’t know exactly _why_ but he feels intimidated anyway.

He can’t hear them though, they exchange a few words and Jeonghan tries not to worry.

What did Seungcheol tell them?

How did they get here so quickly?

 _Why_ are they here? To support him? Or to change his mind?

Jeonghan’s hands are clammy as he busies himself with his phone, _anything_ to pretend he’s not nervous about this.

They’re Seungcheol’s friends.

Seungcheol’s best man and the one who injured his foot the day of the party.

He did see them that day.

“We’ll be right here when you need it.” Jihoon says, loud enough for him to hear and Jeonghan freezes, he’s only a few meters away from them, wanting to give them privacy, but with only a car between them and the parking lot being relatively empty, he still doesn’t miss Jihoon’s apprehensive tone.

When Jeonghan _does_ turn to look properly, he can see how relaxed Seungcheol looks, and he figures that his friends must have rubbed off some of that calm in him.

Because both of them look awfully unbothered by the situation.

Maybe… did they possibly know?

Jeonghan doesn’t have the time to dwell on that for long, because then Seungcheol is turning to look at him and he reaches out, squeezing his hand.

Jeonghan feels that one until the base of his spine and he curtly nods.

There’s nothing more to be said, he knows what this means, Seungcheol will go upstairs and talk to Min-Young.

They look into each other’s eyes for a lingering moment…

_everything will be okay, i promise_

And then Seungcheol’s gone.

Jeonghan stares at his hands and takes a deep shaky breath.

Okay then, he needs to wait, then make a few phone calls.

He should probably call Jisoo too.

“I hope you’re happy.”

Jeonghan must be really focused on his phone, because that voice sounded a lot closer than Seungcheol’s friends were and when Jeonghan looks up, Jihoon is standing right in front of him.

Looking… mad.

And it just dawns to Jeonghan that those words were actually directed _at_ him.

“Sorry?” He asks, because he still wants to give Seungcheol’s friend the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe he misheard.

Maybe he said _I hope you’re happy_ in a nice way.

“This is such a mess. Cheol deserves someone who makes him happy, and if he chose you, then-” Jihoon says, through gritted teeth. His friend (partner? Seungcheol never specified) reaches out to him, a quiet _Jihoonie_ and a squeeze on his elbow.

It doesn’t work as a warning, because Jihoon’s gaze still hardens.

 _This isn’t about choosing me_ , Jeonghan wants to say, but he can’t bring himself to open his mouth.

Well, Seungcheol kind of did, but that isn’t the point.

Jeonghan stands there, because what else can he do? Where does he go?

He never expected Seungcheol’s friends to react like this… well, one of them, to be more precise.

Jeonghan blinks up at this stranger’s eyes, he looks so protective, so _angry_ and Jeonghan thinks he looks a bit scared too.

Another quiet _Jihoon_ tugs at the other one’s lips and then Jihoon purses his lips.

“Then I hope you’re worthy of this decision.”

***

Seungcheol stands outside Min’s door.

He knows the number by heart, he even picked this room himself.

He knew she’d like it, because she always did love rooms with nice views, to see the city lights at night.

As Seungcheol made his way upstairs, he thought he’d be more nervous, more… anxious, like he was on his own house when he texted Jeonghan, or then in Jeonghan’s apartment, or even when he was in the parking lot just a few minutes ago.

But strangely enough, he doesn’t feel nervous at all.

Is it because he’s sure of his decision? Is it because he made peace with it himself?

Or maybe because Jeonghan, Jihoon and Soonyoung are downstairs, waiting for him?

Supporting him, having his back, _loving_ him even though he’s being a mess right now.

Even when he fucked up, badly.

Even when he’s about to hurt Min’s feelings.

Seungcheol lifts his hand and gently knocks the door, wondering if Min’s up.

She arrived from Jeju only a few hours ago, she probably went right to bed, or maybe she didn’t, maybe she’s fussing over the wedding, or maybe she’s calm and—

“Cheol, why are you here so early?” Min-Young says, with a small surprised smile on her lips. Seungcheol’s heart aches at the sight.

She tilts her head in confusion, when he doesn’t reply right away and Seungcheol focuses on the way she’s still wearing her airport clothes, she looks so gentle like this, it feels so domestic.

Seungcheol is slightly taken aback.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, tone a bit more serious than before.

She looks worried now.

“Min, I just…” He starts and words fail him almost right away. “May I come in?”

Min doesn’t miss his weird tone and she steps aside, letting him inside.

As soon as the door closes behind them, Seungcheol takes a deep shaky breath and—

And he can’t help it anymore.

“Min, I’m _so_ sorry.”

He can’t help it, it’s like the dam breaks.

So he falls to his knees, tears streaming down his face and his hands shaking as Min rushes to his side.

He doesn’t deserve the comfort and he wants to explain, but only apologies leave his lips.

Again and again.

***

“Waiting too, huh?”

Jeonghan turns from where he was typing down on his phone, just a few meters away from his car.

He had thought about waiting in the lobby, but he doesn’t want to run into another one of Seungcheol’s friends or family.

He’s better off right here.

As he recognizes the person who sat next to him, he doesn’t know if he should have chosen the lobby or not.

“Soonyoung, am I right?” Jeonghan says, just now noticing the limp on his right leg. He’s the one with the sprained ankle, the one who _almost_ missed the party.

“So hyung _does_ talk about me.”

 _Not much_ , Jeonghan thinks, _I do remember you from the guestlist._

Soonyoung actually looks happy that Seungcheol might talk about him, so Jeonghan decides not to comment on that.

Which Jeonghan _doesn’t_ know, it’s why is Soonyoung here.

What does he want?

Jeonghan is already wondering if he’s worthy of this decision, he doesn’t need people to rile him up.

And if Soonyoung came to say the same thing Jihoon just said… then he’s not in the mood.

“Jihoonie is waiting for him outside.” Soonyoung explains, without any prompting.

Jeonghan lets out a small “ah” in acknowledgement.

Silence hangs between them and Soonyoung sits down next to him even though Jeonghan didn’t invite him to.

It crosses Jeonghan’s mind that if he _does_ run into someone he doesn’t want to, at least he’s with Seungcheol’s friend, he can use him as a buffer.

Although considering his last (brief) encounter with Seungcheol’s _other_ best friend, he wouldn’t know if he’s better with or without these two.

Soonyoung did tell Jihoon to stop talking at some point, but does he mean he agrees to this? Or was he only protecting Jihoon from something else?

Jeonghan can’t figure what they might want from him.

What _he_ might want from him, looking all friendly, the exact opposite of Jihoon.

And Soonyoung’s first words _properly_ register this time.

 _waiting_ too _, huh?_

Waiting for Seungcheol.

Just like they are.

Jeonghan blinks up at him, suspicions growing.

“Since when did you guys know?” Jeonghan asks, because it’s clear as a day that they did. That on itself raises a lot of questions…

Why didn’t they stop Seungcheol before? Or maybe they did?

Did they know about him? As… As in the same way Jisoo knows about Seungcheol?

Soonyoung snorts a laugh and Jeonghan’s cheeks heat despite himself.

 _What the hell_.

“Ah, sorry.” He raises his hands in innocence. “I didn’t mean to offend, it’s just… were you aware that we kind of see you? In the party. You were about to kiss.”

Were they _that_ obvious? And…

“Hyung just has this… _way_ of talking about people he likes. You can immediately tell.” Soonyoung shrugs and Jeonghan tries to think of Seungcheol talking about him to his friends.

With his big goofy smile and his eyes shining.

He swallows the lump in his throat.

His phone is vibrating on his pocket, but Jeonghan can’t help but think about Seungcheol talking about _him_.

Why does it make him so unbelievably _happy_?

Jeonghan only looks down, tears prickling at his eyes, he’s overwhelmed by all of this. Everything is happening so fast and he feels like he might not make it through today without crying his eyes out.

Soonyoung fails to notice it though, or if he does, he doesn’t comment on it, and Jeonghan is grateful.

“Sorry if he was too harsh. They’re like brothers, you know?”

And now Jeonghan really wishes he’d shut up. He feels even _worse_ facing all of Seungcheol’s protective friends, and he probably suspects _why_ they’re so protective in the first place.

Seungcheol is so stupidly loyal, so gentle and kind and Jeonghan was sure that he could kick him in the face and Seungcheol would probably say he’s sorry.

He’s fragile in a way Jeonghan is scared of.

If only did they know that he’s scared to death to disappoint him, that Seungcheol one day will realize he’s unworthy of all the affection. unworthy of this decision.  

But at the same time, he’s so fucking glad and relieved. He knows it’s selfish. He wishes it wasn’t, but he can’t help the way he feels with Seungcheol.

He surrendered already.

“Why are you telling me this?” He asks, trying to figure him out.

For a moment he thought Jihoon’d be more dangerous, being straightforward and a bit of a dick, but now… Soonyoung seems more secretive, more… emotionally smart in a way that frightens Jeonghan.

He should be wary around these two.

“I don’t want you to hate Jihoonie… although I’d understand if you do. He was pretty mean to you, assuming this is _your_ fault and not Cheol-hyung’s and—”

Jeonghan’s frown gets a little deeper and Soonyoung rushes to clarify, with a small smile.

“I guess the reason why I’m telling you this It’s because if after this, you and Seungcheol-hyung are together…” Jeonghan’s heart skips a beat, although it’s a possibility now more than ever. “Then we’re your friends too.”

Oh.

“And this is my way of having your back.” Soonyoung adds, literally patting Jeonghan’s back as he stands up.

His gaze follows Soonyoung all the way to the parking lot, until he disappears inside the hotel.

Seungcheol’s friends are really interesting, huh?

Jeonghan smiles, maybe he’ll want to know them a bit more.

***

A gentle knock on his car window takes him out of his doze.

He didn’t even remember falling asleep.

At some point he went ahead and canceled all the services of the wedding (photos, food, music), and then it was lunchtime, but he couldn’t possibly eat, he was too nervous.

Soonyoung and Jihoon were nowhere to be seen, probably waiting in the lobby for Seungcheol to leave.

Then Jeonghan had stayed in the car, replying a few emails and calls.

Then he didn’t remember.

 _Seungcheol_ is the one knocking on his window and Jeonghan’s eyes squint at him, trying to get used at the sudden darkness.

Wait a second _, darkness?_

How long was he asleep?

Jeonghan shifts in his seat to open the door, he feels his muscles straining from being in the same position for too long.

He must have fallen asleep for a _long_ time.

Did Seungcheol and Min-Young really talk together for a whole afternoon?

Jeonghan was exhausted but he never thought he’d… sleep through this whole ordeal.

“I’m… dropping Min off,” Seungcheol mumbles, and _finally_ Jeonghan takes a good look at him.

His cheeks are puffy, traces of tears all over his face, and there’s also a wet patch on his sleeve as well, because Jeonghan has noticed he has the habit of cleaning his tears with it. There are bags under his eyes and his lips are red, he looks _broken_ and Jeonghan can’t help the crippling feeling of guilt clawing at his chest, because Seungcheol was dealing with this all by himself, while Jeonghan napped on his car.

He wished they could share a bit of the pain.

Seungcheol’s shoulders are shaking, and he looks like he’s about to pass out from exhaustion.

“I’m sorry… I should have said something or at least- I mean, you’ve been waiting the whole time.” he trails off, looking down. “Did you even have any lunch?”

And Jeonghan reaches up, wanting to cup his cheek, but his neck is prickling and he knows why. A few people _are_ lurking around now, and Jeonghan knows that they could be Seungcheol’s family or Min-Young’s.

And he doesn’t want to cause Seungcheol any more problems.

He retreats his hand, trying a small smile instead. He doesn’t feel hurt, not really, he just doesn’t want to go home all alone and wait for Seungcheol.

It’s not like he can possibly stay in the car though, so he nods, and he can see the way Seungcheol relaxes at that.

He wishes he could ask _please come back to me_ or _don’t pick Min-Young_ or something, but the words won’t leave his mouth. And it’s _cruel_ , he knows it is, but if Seungcheol leaves for good and decides he made a mistake after all, he’s not sure if he can take that.

“Jeonghan?” Seungcheol insists, voice gentle and Jeonghan tries another smile.

“Ah, don’t worry about me,” Jeonghan says, hoping it sounds convincing, because he wants to.

He really does.

He doesn’t want Seungcheol to worry.

A part of him wants Seungcheol to stay… but it’s only to reassure himself that he won’t leave him.

Just like Woojin did once.

 _Seungcheol is not like him,_ he reminds himself.

“Really,” He adds, when Seungcheol gives him a unconvinced look. “I ate something and took care of all the _planning_ stuff. Take your time.”

Seungcheol’s expression softens.

“Okay then… I’ll… just… then let’s meet back in your place?” Jeonghan nods and Seungcheol smiles, his hair looks disheveled and Jeonghan wants to fix it for him, but he can’t.

Not until this is solved, not until they’re safe.

“You promise?” Jeonghan asks, despite himself, despite how _desperate_ and _childish_ he feels, he just can’t help himself.

Seungcheol doesn’t look surprised by the request and Jeonghan wonders how much does he know him, how well can he read him.

“I promise.”

***

 _“I don’t hate you Cheol, I couldn’t never hate you for something like_ this _…” She trails off, eyes fixed everywhere but him. “It’s not only your fault either… I didn’t work hard for this wedding, it must have been difficult for you to take care of that on your own. Besides… this wedding, it’s not something we both willingly chose, right?”_

_“Min… I thought you… ” Seungcheol asks, suspicious growing._

_Every conversation he’s had with Min over the past month plays in his head._

_“Were you getting cold feet too?” He ventures, just in case._

_Min-Young doesn’t reply, only looking down._

_Seungcheol refused to call this an arranged marriage, since he didn’t want to hurt Min’s feelings, but knowing she saw it like that… it was surprising and relieving, considering his current situation._

_“This isn’t… just about the wedding, is it, Cheol?” Min asks and Seungcheol’s heart drops in his chest._

_This confession has two parts._

_1.- I don’t want to get married._

_2.- I like Jeonghan._

_The first one wasn’t so bad._

_Apparently Min wasn’t overly enthusiastic about getting married either… but the second one…_

_“Is there anything else you want to tell me?”_

_Seungcheol looked into his girlfriend’s eyes._

_“Actually… yes.”_

***

Seungcheol’s phone, in the glass table, hasn’t stopped vibrating since he got to Jeonghan’s apartment.

It was nearing eleven pm already, but Seungcheol, as promised, had arrived.

He had this haunted, exhausted expression, that only softened once Jeonghan offered to make some tea and dinner for him.

Their domesticity was interrupted though, because Seungcheol’s eyes kept shifting from Jeonghan to the phone, wincing everytime he got a new text or call.

As soon as Seungcheol reaches out to his phone, Jeonghan turns from his cooking, taking his hand gently.

“Hey, _hey_ , stop.” Jeonghan gently takes Seungcheol’s phone from his hands. “You can deal with those tomorrow.”

Truth is, they both look like a mess, tired, disheveled, cheeks puffy and eyes red.

They both cried today, Seungcheol with Min-Young and Jeonghan in his apartment and car.

It was hard.

But they had made it, they were here.

They were together.

Jeonghan has no idea what’s going on through Seungcheol’s mind right now.

He barely explained to him what had happened with Min, and now he looked afraid of answering his phone.

But Jeonghan doesn’t ask, they eat dinner in silence, and Jeonghan busies himself with washing the dishes, even though it’s a shore that is solely Jisoo’s.

He needs to keep himself occupied, just until today ends.

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” Seungcheol asks, sounding so vulnerable and afraid that Jeonghan’s heart squeezes painfully in his chest.

Now Jeonghan doesn’t know her, not that much anyway, but from what he knows…

He turns to give him a reassuring smile.

“I think she will.”

***

It’s been an hour after dinner and they still haven’t left the couch.

Seungcheol had sat down first, and then Jeonghan, just after he finished with the dishes, had joined in too.

They hadn’t meant to (or had they?) but at some point Seungcheol’s head had ended up on Jeonghan’s lap, as Jeonghan caressed his hair.

It was comforting, for both of them.

After weeks of tension and pushing and pulling and flirting, there was… nothing more.

Jeonghan can’t believe how everything went today.

It was the most eventful day of his life and he _is_ a wedding planner.

His chest feels lighter now that he doesn’t need to hide his feelings anymore and he feels so happy.

If he looks down, there’s a mop of black hair, slightly curly and Jeonghan smiles, tugging gently.

“Cheol,” He calls, getting a small _mm_? in reply. “Look at me.”

It stirs a want in his belly, he’s not going to lie. And it might be the most innocent action, them being together in the couch, just… caressing each other, but it’s so _intimate._

It’s filled with so much meaning.

Seungcheol quickly complies, shifting in his hold with a small whine.

As soon as their eyes meet, Jeonghan feels his cheeks heating up, and Seungcheol catches the reaction, smiling smugly.

They both share a shy laugh.

Seungcheol slowly tilts his chin up and for a moment it’s just _them_ , nothing left unsaid.

Jeonghan’s heart might burst from his chest any second now.

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol says gently, leaning in. ”Is it okay if I kiss you?"

Not for the first time today, Jeonghan’s breath hitches in his throat.

 _Yes_ , he wants nothing more than that.

He’s been wanting to kiss Seungcheol ever since he fell for him, but…

Today’s been a long day.

His birthday too, and he’s being overwhelmed by emotions.

About work, about his friends, about Seungcheol.

And about Min.

He knows that Seungcheol told Min-Young everything, but he can’t help but to feel guilty about having their first kiss on the same day (and only a few hours apart) from where Seungcheol broke up with his fiancee.

It’s _hard_ though, he wants to do it anyway, he deserves to put an end to this endless tension…

But this isn’t how he wants to remember their first kiss.

It’s a happy day for many reasons, but a sad one for all of the same ones.

“I don’t… think it’s okay for us to kiss today.” He comments quietly, closing his eyes to avoid seeing disappointment or anger in Seungcheol’s eyes.

He doesn’t really know what he’ll do if Seungcheol gets mad about this… he stands his ground, but if Seungcheol insists, Jeonghan doesn’t know what he’ll do then.

Seungcheol’s thumbs’ caress Jeonghan’s cheeks in a soft motion and he almost can hear him smile, Jeonghan lets out a small breath and relaxes, he doesn’t sound mad.

Good.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” Seungcheol whispers, and Jeonghan’s heart skips a beat.

With Woojin he never got used to compliments, but Seungcheol was always ready to comment on how pretty Jeonghan looked, how smart he was, how resourceful.

It made his heart ache, in a good way.

“I think you might be the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” Seungcheol adds, pressing a kiss on Jeonghan’s cheek and then his temple, and his nose.

Everywhere he could reach, but his lips.

He seeked the warm skin, whispering sweet endearments with every press of his lips.

“I’m so lucky,” Seungcheol gushes, and Jeonghan buries his head on the crook of Seungcheol’s necks, the tip of his ears bright red from Seungcheol’s compliments.

He feels like he’ll drown in the most pleasant wonderful way, and he can’t bring himself to pull back.

“Shut up,” Jeonghan pushes at his chest with little force, embarrassment evident at his tone and expression.

“I’m sorry,” Seungcheol whispers, pressing kisses all over Jeonghan’s face again, as he dissolves into giggling, pushing him away playfully. “I can’t help myself.”

Jeonghan feels like crying, he hasn’t felt this _loved_ in years, this cherished, and he still wants to wait, but he also might want to tease Seungcheol a little. He seeks Seungcheol’s chin with his fingers, hot breath against Seungcheol’s awaiting mouth.

“Seungcheol,” He drawls, he can actually see the way his pupils dilate and he smiles. “Will you… will you kiss me tomorrow?”

Tomorrow, October fifth, will be a new day.

Their new start and of course Jeonghan wants it to be memorable.

They deserve it.

Tomorrow they will leave this wedding behind.

Tomorrow will be _theirs_.

Seungcheol’s cheek blush and he nods, eagerly.

***

At the sound of the door, Seungcheol perks up, wishing to raise his hands in innocence (if he could).

But since he can’t, he only says:

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

The newcomer just stares at him.

It must be Jisoo, or _Joshua_ , Jeonghan’s roommate.

Seungcheol faintly wonders if Jeonghan has told Jisoo about him, if he knows that Jeonghan likes him.

By the way Jisoo has gone silent, Seungcheol worries about either way.

Truth is, morning came and Seungcheol might have, or might have not, fallen asleep with Yoon Jeonghan on his lap.

He woke up about an hour ago, but he didn’t want to wake Jeonghan up…

“You must be Seungcheol,” Jisoo says, unimpressed by his words and Seungcheol almost winces.

Should he leave? He doesn’t know what to do.

It’s not like he’s super excited about coming back to his own house, his parents are probably waiting for him there anyway…

“Coffee or tea?” Comes Jisoo’s voice from the kitchen and Seungcheol looks up, not hiding his surprise.

“Er… tea, thank you.” Seungcheol replies, noticing how Jeonghan has drooled all over his shoulder, and how he can’t possibly move his arm, because it has gone numb under Jeonghan’s weight.

He still wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else.

He should at least look a little more decent so he tries to release his—

Jeonghan startles awake.

“Ah, sorry, didn’t want to wake you,” Seungcheol whispers, voice rough, his warm breath tickling Jeonghan’s ear. “My arm fell asleep.”

Jeonghan blinks, looking down at Seungcheol.

Right, the wedding got cancelled.

He spent the whole afternoon in a car, waiting for Seungcheol to speak to Min… and now, they’re together? Kind of?

In his hazed state, Jeonghan’s eyes travel to Seungcheol’s lips.

_will you kiss me tomorrow?_

That was _yesterday_ , now he can...

Someone clearing his throat pulls him out of his thoughts and he turns, just _now_ noticing Jisoo standing in the kitchen, making himself some tea.

His cheeks go red despite himself.

“Looks like both of you had an eventful evening.” Jisoo says, smiling politely, but there’s an amused edge to it.

Jeonghan wants to punch him, just a little.

He was one second away from his first kiss with Seungcheol.

Why was he like this?

“Why is there so much cake in the fridge?” Jisoo asks, staring at the open fridge, and Jeonghan can’t help but smile.

“Because it’s Jeonghan’s birthday.” Seungcheol explains, as if people in this apartment didn’t know.

In his embrace, Jeonghan whines a little, only because Jisoo won’t let him have his away and he kind of wanted to sleep a bit more.

“I’ll get fat.”

“So what? There will be more of you for me to love.” Seungcheol says, arms wrapping around Jeonghan’s waist.

“That’s _so_ cheesy.” Jeonghan buries his head on the crook of Seungcheol’s neck, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Although something registers.

“For you to… love?” He asks, tentatively, smirking. His fingers trace Seungcheol’s jaw, fixing his collar.

He thinks that maybe Seungcheol made a mistake, but Seungcheol doesn’t look bothered by that, only smiles a bit wider.

“Yeah, what do you think about that?” Seungcheol asks, cheekily.

Jeonghan smiles as well.

 _I already do_ , he thinks.

“We’ll have to see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for following/reading/commenting/leaving kudos in this story!! Hope the long wait was worth it.  
> You can follow this series if you want to read more of this AU in the future (I have a lot planned).

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Also my [twt](https://twitter.com/Wish_us_luck) and my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Wish_us_luck)


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